"It doesn't matter. It's never happening again." She spun on her heel and stormed out of my bedroom but not before throwing one last threat over her shoulder. "Don't look into me. Don't try finding me. Forget I exist because I can't promise our next visit won't end in bloodshed."
I let her walk away. I let her think she’d won this round. But if she thought I was done with her, she had another think coming.
Anita gave me an inch, and I was about to take a mile.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
ANITA
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
I walked out of Beckett's house with my head held high.
Was it hard? Maybe a little.
Did I get a mind-blowing orgasm that possibly changed my life? Also, maybe a little.
Had I really given him five minutes to see where it would lead? I sure as fuck did, and I refused to regret it.
My knees wanted to knock together, but I wouldn't let them.
My heart was racing a million miles a minute, but you wouldn't know it by looking at me.
I was the picture of calm.
Or so I thought.
Nyx would prove me wrong. "Did he rock your world?"
I glared at my teammate. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." I sure as hell wasn't about to make this easy on her. "Let's get the hell out of here."
I didn't object when Nyx insisted on driving. It was probably for the best. I wasn't sure I would be able to focus enough to getus back to the compound alive. I prided myself on control in all aspects of my life, but right now, my world was a little off-kilter.
I blamed Beckett and his magical fingers. No man should have that kind of talent.
"You know it's okay to not be a robot all the time."
I snapped my head in Nyx's direction. She didn't take her eyes off the road. For a brief second, I wondered if she even spoke or if it was my mind playing tricks on me.
"I have no idea what you mean," I grumbled half to myself.
"Yes you do. You just refuse to acknowledge that flaw in your personality."
What the fuck? Where was this coming from? We weren't the kind of teammates who had heart-to-hearts. We survived because we left emotions out of the equation. Yet for some reason, I still asked, "What flaw are you talking about?"
"Your obsession with being a robot who doesn't feel anything. After Nova disappeared, you turned off all emotions, and we let you. We thought it was the best way for you to cope, but now I'm wondering if we made a mistake."
"I didn't turn off all emotions. I've wanted nothing but revenge this whole time," I clarified. "And what do you mean, we? Are you guys having team meetings behind my back?" I couldn't keep the anger out of my tone.
"My bad." I could hear the eye roll even if I couldn't see it since Nyx was still hyper focused on the road ahead of us. "How could I forget that you've been surviving off revenge alone? It's okay to feel other emotions though. Nova wouldn't be mad at you for continuing to live. I would even venture to say she would encourage it."
"How the hell would you know?" I snapped. "You knew her for less than a year before she disappeared. I knew her my whole life. She was my best friend."
"Exactly! And there isn't a best friend in the world who would want the people in their lives to stop living. I might not have known Nova as long as you, but I know damn well she was full of life."
She was. Nova was the best of us. She saw the world in a positive light as where I saw nothing but darkness. We balanced each other out so well. When we talked about starting Ghost Team, Nova wanted to do it to help others. To see the joy on the victims’ faces when we rescued them. I wanted to end the lives of the assholes who hurt them. I relished in the pain I would cause.
Now there was just me. I took out the scum and let others relish in the victories.
