Silence stretches between us for a moment.
“I kinda knew this would happen,” I say quietly.
He waits patiently for me to continue, his palm still resting against my leg, anchoring me.
“Their presence in my life has always been… conditional,” I continue, staring at the blank wall across the room. “If they ever found out I was gay, I knew it’d be a problem.”
I let out a slow breath.
“They needed me to be the version of their son they wanted. The straight one. The one who carries on the family name. Takes over the farm. Upholds their pristine reputation.” My fingers tighten slightly around the mug. “Anything outside of that makes me a liability to them, not an asset.”
The words land heavy in the room. My throat tightens.
“That’s why I spent so many years trying to avoid it. Trying to make it stop. Trying to change.” I shake my head faintly. “But now…” I exhale, some of that tension slipping loose. “It’s almost a relief.”
He lifts a brow. “A relief?”
I nod. “Yeah. The truth’s finally out there.” I drag in a breath through my nose. “And I think… if we stopped hiding completely, I’d be okay with that.”
A small, surprised smile tugs at his lips. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I huff out a quiet laugh. “All I ever really feared was my parents finding out—and now they know.” I shrug. “I don’t care about anyone else. My siblings have my back. My best friend does too. So… fuck it.” Another soft laugh slips out. “If I lose business over it, if people in town want to gossip, I don’t give a shit. Anyone who actually matters won’t have a problem with it.”
“You have plenty of people who love you, Ash.”
“I do,” I say, something warm blooming in my chest. “And yeah… it hurts. What my parents did—how they basically decided they wanted to stop being my parents the second I didn’t fit their mold.” I swallow. “But I’m not broken by it. I’ll be okay.”
He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my temple. “You’ll be more than okay. You’re strong as hell, Ash.”
Heat creeps into my cheeks. “And if Mom and Dad ever want to apologize,” I add, “they know where I live. They have my number.” I take another sip of coffee. “But I’m not gonna be the one to initiate it. That’s on them.”
He squeezes my knee, firm and grounding. “I’m proud of you.”
I wave it off with a shrug. “You know how it is. Parents just… suck sometimes.”
Then I glance at him, a crooked smile tugging at my lips.
“You’re the one who told me that thing once,” I say. “About how sometimes distance from those who hurt you is the happy ending. Not, um… reconciliation or whatever.” I squint thoughtfully. “I definitely butchered that. You said it better.”
Troy chuckles. “You got the gist.” He bumps his shoulder lightly against mine.
After a moment, his gaze drops to his coffee. “My mom was great,” he says quietly. “I know she would’ve loved me unconditionally.”
The vulnerability in his voice catches me off guard. He’s usually so confident and carefree, seemingly unshakeable.
“I don’t remember her much,” he continues, rubbing his thumb along the rim of his mug. “But everyone who knew her says she loved me more than anything.”
I shift closer, pressing my thigh firmly against his.
“She kept a diary when she was pregnant with me. Little notes to me. About how excited she was to meet me.” He huffs out a quiet breath. “I still have it.”
My chest tightens. “I would’ve loved to meet her.”
“Yeah,” he says with a sad smile. “I would’ve loved that, too.”
He clears his throat, then looks back at me.
“I was thinking… maybe next summer we could go to Chicago. Catch a Cubs game. She loved baseball.” He swallows. “And while we’re there… maybe visit her grave. I’d like to introduce you.”
