After a few more questions fromSam about the team and how they’ve handled Jamie — echoing some of thequestions I heard from other players in the locker room yesterday — he wraps up the interview.
With the cameras and microphones off, he approaches my chair, hand out for another handshake.
“You know you could’ve gotten a lot of money for that interview, right?”
He’s not wrong. In our conversation the other day, Jack had pointed out that this story would be absolutegold. That I could basically write myself a blank check if I’d give it to ESPN or Sports Illustrated.
But for so long my choices have been about money, about stability. This was about doing what was right.
“Yeah. But it isn’t about the money, you know?”
He nods his head.
“I, uh, wanted to share it with someone I could trust to focus on the right story. I hope that’s you.”
And I hope he understands what I’m saying. That I don’t want this to turn into a piece about Jamie and my “friendship”, full of speculation about what we are or aren’t to each other.
“You can trust me. Do you have any input on when I post this? It’ll certainly make…ripples.”
That’s the understatement of the year.
“I’ll be sending a text to my coach and teammates shortly. Everyone else who needs to know already does. You can release it whenever you like.”
Back in my hotel room,I pull up the Notes app on my phone. There, I find the words I've been working on for the past week.
I hope you're all enjoying your time away from the rink this week. Before I return to Minneapolis, there is something I want to share with you all.
I am gay.
I have known this for as long as I can remember, but growing up around hockey has made me feel that I would never be able to be open about it. I have always been proud to be on a team with you all, but never more than when I saw how you all welcomed Jamie this year. For the first time, I could see a future where I could be honest with you and with myself.
I'd like to thank Jamie and Alexei for their support as I've navigated through this over the past several months. You will probably see some news about this before long, but I wanted you all to know first.
Go Huskies.
Taking a deep breath, I select the text, copying and pasting it into the group chat. I take one more look out the window, then hit send.
It seems silly, but I almost expect something to happen – for the sun to fall out of the sky or an angry mob to stampede toward the hotel. Nothing does, of course. The world marches on, exactly as it was before.
I put my phone on do not disturb and lay down for my pregame nap. At first, I think I won't be able to sleep, the different outcomes running through my mind. But as my head touches the pillow, my body relaxes in a way it hasn't in a long time. Before I know it, I'm asleep.
I sleep soundlyuntil my alarm alerts me to the fact that it's time to get ready for the night's game. I put on my compression garments and a pair of sweats and debate whether or not to look at my phone. Ultimately, I realize I'll need to call an Uber, so I might as well.
My notifications aren'ttooinsane, so I'm assuming the article hasn't dropped yet. I can't help but be grateful; at least I won't have to deal with that in the locker room tonight. I go ahead and order my car before opening my messages. The group chat has a crazy number ofunread messages, and I hesitate to open it. Instead, I start with some of the individual texts.
Alexei Kovalenko 2:36 PM
I am so proud of you, Ethan.
I know the boys will be good about this.
Or else.
Wait
News? What news?
Why aren't you answering me?
