Dear Mom,
I don’t know when you’ll get this letter, but apparently, there is a magical way to make it appear right in your house, so maybe it’s instantaneous. Or maybe they don’t want to waste magic on that and this will get to you right before the end of summer, IDK.
Either way, I don’t want you to come pick me up.
I got a job in Maple Hollow. It doesn’t pay much, but they are giving me an apartment, and I apparently get a stipend for food from Midnight Market. Do you remember that place? Is this Billy Bacchus guy as intense as they say?
I’m trying really hard not to be mad at you for keeping all of this from me. I wish it had been my choice. I wish I’d had a chance to know this part of who I am. My whole life, I’ve always felt like an outsider, like I never had a real place to call home. Even answering the question “Where are you from?” felt like an impossible task, but now I know it’s here. Maple Hollow will be my hometown. I’ve never felt like I belonged more than when I’m in the haunted woods, which I know is crazy, but it’s true.
I want a chance to explore this life, to have a job, to live on my own for a little, and figure out how I’m going to get around to forgiving you for keeping this from me. I want to. I will. I just need some time to wrap my head around all of this.
So don’t come to pick me up.
If you want to visit me, you should come see me in Maple Hollow. I know it’ll be hard, but peoplewillbe excited to see you again. For now, I need to do this for myself.
I still love you all the way to the stars.
Gwen
P.S. If Astrid’s mom was half as awful as her daughter, I can’t imagine how terrible it must’ve been being her friend.
P.P.S. Give Dad a hug for me.
I read over my words one more time, then folded the paper into a small rectangle to slip inside the camp designated envelopes.I stepped into my shoes and headed to the outpost. It was the longest walk I’d taken in days, and my legs felt like they were filled with Jell-O. I should have rested for a bit longer before hiking across camp, but I’d been wallowing for days. And if I wanted to be in tip-top shape for the games, then I needed to build up my endurance.
A few other witches were buzzing around, eagerly talking about the end-of-camp party and talent show, another tradition that I was excited to experience. But I knew it had the potential to cause a run-in with Sabine. As much as I wished that I’d wake up and find that our breakup—if you could even call it that, since we hadn’t officially started dating—was all a bad dream, I couldn’t fault Sabine for wanting me to make my choice without her influence. Moving to be with someone was a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship.
Still, I would have gone back to New York City in a heartbeat with her. But then I always would have felt like I’d lost a piece of myself that I’d only just found.
In the end, I had to try to move on.
After dropping the letter to my mom in the box, I turned and took in the last bits of sunlight peeking over the mountains. While my heart was aching, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of gratitude in my chest. I really was exactly where I was meant to be . . . even if I still hadn’t mastered my transformation abilities.
A line of six frogs waddled out from under the crawlspace of the rec center when I passed by, croaking and fumbling over one another to make their way toward the lake. I rolled my eyes and focused on the image of six smooth rocks, but when I opened them, only five toads had obeyed. The last bounded faster toward the water’s edge, off to join the countless others who had gotten away.
That thought made tears well in my eyes again. Great. Now I was crying over a literal frog, which made it very hard to lie tomyself about how “fine” I was with everything. I wiped my eyes with my hoodie sleeves.
Get a grip,Gwen.You’re a badass witch now. And witches don’t cry over runaway frogs.
I hoped no one in Maple Hollow would be offended by my magic’s affinity for amphibians, but just in case, I headed toward the charms class to ask for a quick refresher. I slipped my mother’s bracelet over my wrist and felt a bit of warmth in my chest when I rubbed the small daisy beads. Maybe they did have a little bit of magic after all.
29
Sabine
Itossed and turned on my thin bunk mattress, telling myself that I just had to hang on a little longer, just get through the end-of-summer games and talent show. Then I could run far, far away. But time cruelly seemed to slow, the hours stretching long with the mounting threat that I would run into her. The thought of staying put when I wanted to flee made my skin crawl, and I’d spent every moment of the last week looking around every corner for Gwen.
I’d heard from her cabinmates that she’d come down with the stomach flu, and it wrecked me that I couldn’t bring her soup, cover her in a blanket, or comfort her while she was ill.
But that had been my choice, right? I’d done this to myself.
Maybe I could hide out in my bunk and pretend to be sick until the summer was over too. Illness or no, I’d still be full-fledged coven member. My family would be thrilled, and I could just get on with my life and bury my head in the sand and neversee anything that reminded me of Gwen ever again, like the very mature witch I was.
Dagmar had informed me that Gwen was going to move to Maple Hollow after the end of camp. The job and housing had been set in stone within hours of her accepting. My heart ached at how easily it had all fallen into place, almost like it was inevitable. I supposed we would bump into each other when I came home for the Halloween Festival and coven holidays. But I didn’t want to just bump into her and awkwardly catch up a few times a year. I wanted to be with her. And I’d screwed it all up.
“Fuck.” I buried my face in my pillow. The fabric absorbed the tears as they fell.
I didn’t want to betray myself or my plans for the future, but neither did I want to lose her. Worse, I hated myself for hurting her. Even if it was the right thing to do for both of us, it was the world’s smallest trophy. It felt like pouring salt into an open wound every time I thought of her. The agony was heavier than the burden of being the bigger person, and part of me wished I could take it all back and be small and selfish and keep her as mine.
