“What happened? Has he gone?”
“He has. I am going to rest in my room for a bit. I don’t feel like talking about it.” She touched Marianne’s arm in a gesture of reassurance that she couldn’t give in words. She would be fine. It was just not something she could voice right now. Before turning to her room, she added, “I know you meant to give us privacy, and I didn’t want you and Hannah to be locked in your rooms forever.”
Marianne looked as though she wanted to say more but resisted. As soon as Amy entered the sanctuary of her room, she heard the sounds of Marianne going to knock on Hannah’s door, where they would likely dissect what might have happened between her and James. She would tell them about his confession eventually, but right now her heart felt too fragile to share the moment with anyone else.
The way James had kissed her showed that his feelings had not diminished—not at all. She was not angry that he had taken the liberty after telling her he could not offer his hand in marriage. She knew him well enough to know that he was an honorable man, and if he could not support a wife at present, he would not make empty promises. But it was still heartbreaking to have that door to love wrenched open again only to find emptiness behind it.
She sat on the chair in the corner of her room and leaned back. He loved her still. That was a great solace, even though she would not have her heart’s dream right away. A dry voice spoke from the recesses of her heart.If only he were not quite so honorable and focused on duty,we might not need to wait for a perfectsituation.But she could understand his wanting to wait until he was settled and earning an income. Had she not refused him for the same reason six years ago?
Knotting her fingers together, she turned the problem about in her mind, attempting to see if there was a way around it. She could offer her dowry, but he would only reject it. Besides, he had not precisely proposed again, and she could not very well propose to him.
The evening shadows had begun to fall, and although Amy was more hopeful than she had been two days ago—sincethenshe had not learned of James’s broken engagement—her hope was tinged with regret. They could not predict how long it would take to build up his practice or find clients for his therapeutic baths. How long she would continue to traipse alongside her family on a tour she had never wanted to go on. Shelikedher life in Spa and had no wish to leave.
Would she have to return with them to London unmarried still, because James was yet too impoverished to offer for her? That was a bleak prospect. But she had his promise to console herself with. He would write to her and wait for her. This, she believed with all of her heart. And she would wait for him.
The next morning she knocked on the Princess Orlova’s door for the last time. The maid showed her into the parlor, where the princess was sitting alone.
“My children go for walk with servant. They have too much energy sit still.”
“I understand,” Amy said. “It is a beautiful day out. What would you like to read today?” She looked at the table and noticed there were no books or newspapers there.
The princess turned on the sofa to face her. “Today, we talk. Perhaps you tell me next destination for family.”
Amy nodded, feeling a pang in her heart even thinking ofclimbing back into the carriage and leaving Spa—the carriage that would put miles between her and James.
“As things stand now, we will only go to Paris for a week to break the journey before traveling on to Aix-en-Provence, although my sister hopes to persuade my father to push the visit out. Her every hope is nestled in Paris.” She smiled feebly.
“And you? Where is hope ... nestled?” the princess asked.
Amy thought for a minute. She knew the answer but did not know how to say it without lowering her reserve. She decided that for once she would express what was truly on her heart. After all, they were not likely to meet again.
“I regret leaving Spa so soon, to own the truth. I have enjoyed life here—and the company.” She smiled, including the princess in her praise. “There is also Mr. Fletcher, who is an old friend of mine.”
Amy paused and folded her hands on her lap. The princess waited until she continued, giving Amy the distinct impression that she had said too much or not enough. She would have to disclose the rest.
“We had lost touch over the years, and I am only sorry that we must separate so soon after finding each other again. I wish him every success in building his list of patients for the thermal baths that have just opened and regret I will not be able to see it. He has even had a private space built for women.”
“Mr. Fletcher. I heard his name and of baths at Le Tonnelet.” She looked at Amy curiously. “He was ... fiancé to Miss Prexley, no? Physician daughter?”
Amy nodded. “She ended the betrothal, but yes, he is the one you are thinking of. She is now engaged to Mr. MacFirbis.”
“I am direct nature,” the princess said, “so I ask you. Do you and Mr. Fletcher have tendresse?” Her steady, expectant regard worked on Amy’s habitual reserve, and her need to unburden herself caused her to reply with uncharacteristic frankness.
“He once asked for my hand, but his father was not in favor ofthe match because he finds my father too eccentric. James’s father is a member of Parliament in the Commons.” She glanced at the princess, who somehow felt enough like a friend that she could confide in her. Perhaps it was the uniqueness of their relationship and their closeness in age that made her respond so openly. “Just yesterday, James promised me that if he had an income to live on, he would offer for me again. So if our situation or the timing had been different, we might have married.”
The princess waved her hand as if timing or situations were of no account. “If there would be desire, a path will show itself. Have you see his baths at Le Tonnelet?”
“Only the outside, but I think they will be effective.” Amy understood what the princess meant by her unusual expression, probably translated directly from Russian. But she wondered how one might work around such looming problems as finding an income. The princess would not know such difficulty herself, but she was not unintelligent. She must be thinking of solutions. Amy eyed her changeable features, which sometimes seemed to reveal all she was thinking. “The baths appear to be working for my father. However, he has still decided to leave tomorrow.”
“Well.” The princess raised an eyebrow. “You accept fate too easily. Without work, you will catch no fish out of the pond. Need take everything into your own hands. Why not find clients for baths? Or patients for consult?”
“Me?” Amy could not see how. “But we leave tomorrow.”
“If you strongly want, you will achieve.” The princess lifted a shoulder as if to say it was as simple as that and sent Amy a half smile. “Either wait or give up the life of dreams. That I not accept.”
Her words continued to ring in Amy’s mind after she bid her farewell. The princess had gone on to say that she had decided to bring her children on tour after her husband had died, for she refused to sit in her grief. She did this even though she was traveling without a male relative to escort her. If she could dothat, surely Amy could take the reins of her own life and help James with his project rather than sitting by idly.
Her mind worked over the problem as she crossed over to their wing in the hotel. Perhaps she could enlist Rebecca’s and the Ferrins’ help in publicizing the thermal baths. And Hannah had more than a nodding acquaintance with Madame Necker, who was influential in Spa society. She might not have time to do much, but she could speak to the connections she had. She could do this small thing for James.
