And I don’t know yet how to step toward it without disappearing inside it.
The scratch on the coffee table is deep—more a dent than a blemish. I wonder what happened. Has it been there for long, or is it recent? Maybe it got banged up when it was delivered.
Liam’s mom gushes about venues, the guest list, flowers, her perfume too sweet for my nerves.
Or maybe the table witnessed a family drama—someone throwing it across the room. That would snap everyone here out of this charade.
I don’t know if it was my father or the Stones who booked this room. It’s tasteful, like a seating salon. It still feels like a boardroom.
Like a negotiation. Only I’m not a part of it. Liam is on the other side of the room with our fathers and my brothers.
He is wearing a tie. This is important to him. We discussed the strategy before coming here. How not to get roped into doing our fathers’ bidding, and still protect both our sisters, Tee and Lottie.
How to appear like we are in this for our father’s benefit, without Liam having to step into a role in my father’s empire.
Actually, preparing for this meeting was a relief. A reminder that I can breathe when I’m useful.
It also reminded me how we used to work together at the beginning at Merged. Even while we hated each other, we were a good team.
A good team. Maybe that’s the part I need to trust the most. Maybe it’s not about losing myself, but about finding whatuscould look like. The two don’t have to be exclusive.
But as I look around the room at Rowan, Nico, Alex, and the two patriarchs… I’m not sure I can believe that.
These men take. They demand. They control.
Liam included me in the prep for this meeting. But here, he has no choice but to sideline me.
Because insisting otherwise would only piss my father off, and that’s not where we need him today.
It’s not Liam’s fault, but I still resent him for it. In this room, with these people, I will never be equal.
“Do you want to take a break?” Liam’s mom snaps me back into the conversation.
“Is everything okay?” My father—because, of course, he has ears everywhere—snaps from the other side of the room.
“I want the flowers to be white,” I say. “To contrast with my black gown.”
Liam’s mom lets out a choking gasp. “A black wedding gown?”
All eyes land on me. But the only pair I seek is Liam’s. To everyone else, he must look indifferent, bored, his usual self. But I already know the tiny deviations in his stoic expression.
There is that subtle curl of his lip, and the tiny lines that form around his eyes when they say I’m proud of you.
“I need a bit of fresh air. Excuse me.” I give him what I hope is a reassuring nod, and dash out through the glass double door.
The balcony overlooks Central Park, and I wish I could be down there with the people who are enjoying a normal weekend afternoon.
The irony is that many of them probably wish they could be spending it in this swanky hotel.
Do we always desire what seems unattainable?
The door behind me creaks. I sigh.
“I should have never allowed you to play house in New York.” My father steps beside me.
The air gets immediately colder. I want to wrap my hands around me, but I know better than to give him the satisfaction.
“Too late for that.” I don’t look at him, my gaze planted firmly on the glimmering lake.
