“I only want what’s best for you,” I say, not liking the sound of my own words.
I’m being defensive. I’m also shocked. Have I been trying to control her just like my father?
The same fabric. Just dyed a more forgiving shade.
“But shouldn’t I be the one to decide what’s best for me? It’s my future. I’ve been controlled all my life. I just want to… be free. Make my own mistakes.”
I wrap my lips around the straw, but I don’t sip. She is right. As much as I want to protect her from Father and his plans, I can’t just make her fold to my ideas of what’s best for her.
Even though she might have a very skewed view of reality. But probably as much motivation as I used to have to break free.
I lived under the same roof, with the same rules, and when I left, I survived. Thrived even. It’s hard, but I should trust that Tee can do the same.
Her words open up something else… Am I going to be this controlling with my child? My hand slides to my stomach. Is that the only way I know how to live?
The controlling way I grew up with?
What does Liam think about that? The thought sneaks in yet again. Like so many times in the past two weeks.
One thing is this numb pain coiling around my body. It’s like he was a part of me, and now I have festering wounds where his touch no longer soothes.
But the absence of his opinion, challenge, and verbal sparring is even more jarring.
“Are you pregnant?” Tee throws out casually.
I almost spit my drink. “What the hell, Tee. Why would you ask that?”
“You keep holding your hand on your stomach. I don’t think you have indigestion.”
I laugh. Like really laugh. It feels good and liberating. A welcome break in my late mental state.
After wiping my tears, I realize my hand is alreadyon my belly. The baby is not kicking yet, but I feel them there.
So alive. So real. So mine.
“It’s not indigestion. You’re going to be an aunt.”
Tee launches at me, hugging me, cheering. Half of the coffee shop turns to us, most of the patrons smiling.
“That’s fantastic news.” She pulls away, studying me. “It is, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is.” I lean into the warmth spreading across my chest.
“Do you know who the father is?”
“It’s Liam,” I scoff—not that I have the right to, because it wasn’t that clear at first. It was to him. Liam never wavered.
Tee practically vibrates with excitement. And it’s contagious, and I’m grinning with her, leaving all my dilemmas on the side for a brief reprieve.
“I never got a chance to thank you. You marrying Liam is much better than me doing it. And you guys already get along.”
“Yeah, that’s one way to put it.” I take a shaky breath.
My thinking about him non-stop is one thing, but someone else mentioning him. It makes him both close and… impossibly far away.
“What do you mean? I overheard Dad saying that the man is smitten with you.”
I gape. “He said that?”
