She didn’t have a live stream scheduled for tonight. But I guess it makes sense she would hop on and test her new space.
I pocket my phone, urging myself to resist watching her. My resolve lasts six minutes.
With my breath locked in my lungs, I click into the video and sink onto the bed.
My god. She’s stunning.
My hand drifts to my chest, rubbing at the ever-present ache.
“I have a studio now,” she’s explaining, her voice cracking on the last word. “A real, legitimate studio.” She laughs then, looking around the space. “I’m not here to sell anything or take any orders. I’m just feeling incredibly blessed and supported right now, and I needed to share this moment with someone.”
I should be there.
God dammit, I would give anything to be there with her now.
“My life has changed a lot over the last few months.” She looks into the camera as if she’s looking right into my soul.
“Today, someone did something for me that was so selfless and kind. It means the world to me. I’ll remember it for the rest of my life. But I didn’t get to properly thank that person. A lot of you know how it is… if we’re overwhelmed or slow to process emotions, we ruminate later and often wish the things we wanted to say had come to us in the moment.
“That’s why I wanted to go live tonight. To share that message. If you’re struggling or feeling like you missed an opportunity or regret something you said or didn’t say… it’s not too late. It’s never too late.”
I stare at my phone, mouth agape, my thoughts firing in a million different directions.
She’s talking to me.
Isn’t she? Or maybe she’s talkingaboutme.
I have to go.
Even if she can’t fathom the idea of being together, even if it’s stillnoright now, I need to make sure she understands that I’m not going anywhere. I don’t care if it’s months from now or even years. I have no intention of ever moving on from her.
I can give her time and space. I can even begrudgingly accept that she may move on and date other people. But I’ll always be waiting. In the end, it’s going to be me and her.
It’ll never be too late for us.
CHAPTER 63
EVANGELINE
It’s bittersweet, staying at Alaric’s house all by myself. I wasn’t going to actually sleep here, honestly, knowing it would be painful.
But the temptation to hang out in my new studio was too hard to resist. Plus Mia was insistent that she had to get back to the rental house tonight. I didn’t want to hold her up. Just like I didn’t want to reject Alaric’s hospitality outright. And I definitely didn’t want to call a rideshare and spend an hour in a stranger’s car so I could get back to the Airbnb.
So here I am.
Stuffed from a delicious dinner and tiptoeing through the house as rain falls steadily outside.
This day has been surreal. From the fridge stocked with all my favorite foods and precooked meals to the filaments, solutions, and trinkets already organized in my studio.
The food is totally on brand for Alaric, but stocking my studio with just about every item I need to make fidgets and picky pads is beyond anything I ever expected.
I don’t even remember all the brand names and vendors I use sometimes. His thoughtfulness and thoroughness never cease to amaze me.
After ensuring the doors are locked and the security system is on, I trudge upstairs, tracing the grain of the handrail as I ascend. The higher I climb, the stronger the tug on my heart.
Being here isn’t the issue. It’s being here without him that inspires such an intense ache.
When I get to the top of the stairs, I still. I have the whole house tomyself, and since Alaric didn’t leave any specific instructions, I assume I can sleep wherever I want.
