“She does not.”
Vanessa swallowed hard, trying to process the story.“You said she inspired your career in law enforcement.”
He inclined his head.“It was a formative experience.Like a crossroads, between two opposite choices.Two sides of the law.I could have continued down a dark path, but I didn’t.I went the other direction.”
“This could ruin you if it got out.”
“Yes.”
“Why did you tell me?”
Her father studied her for a long moment.“Maybe you heard about the trouble at the Crazy Horse.”
“I did.”
“I shot a man.”
“I know.”
“It was another pivotal moment for me, one that made me contemplate my own mortality.I’m getting older, and I won’t be around forever.I decided that I didn’t want to die with so many things unsaid.I didn’t want to die without trying to right the wrongs between us.”
She glanced away, her throat tight.
“I told myself that if I got a chance to mend our relationship, I wouldn’t hold anything back.”
“You’re only fifty,” she said.“It’s a bit early to cash in your chips.”
“Perhaps,” he said.“But life is short, and I can’t bear to waste another moment of it.Our estrangement is, by far, my biggest regret.”
“You regret it more than burying a body?”
“Without question.”
Vanessa blinked the tears from her eyes.Her father’s second effort at connecting with her hit her even harder than the first.She hadn’t known about her mother’s miscarriages, or the events leading up to the divorce.She hadn’t realized her parents had led such full and complicated lives.These stories didn’t absolve her father of his sins, but they humanized him and gave context to his choices.
“Mi’ja,” he said, and put his arm around her.
She didn’t pull away, or tell him not to call her that.When he brought her closer, she buried her head against his chest and cried.
Chapter Twenty
Over the nextthree days, Paul fell into a comfortable routine with Vanessa.
They shared quiet mornings together.She sipped coffee and studied for her upcoming exams while he made breakfast.He retreated to the other cabin before Emily woke, where he worked until early afternoon, when they came together again.They’d gone on a couple of excursions on his boat.Yesterday, they’d visited a little-known swimming hole.Sometimes he tried to fish, but often he swam or lounged with them.
The evenings had varied.Twice, she’d gone to her father’s house for dinner.He hadn’t expected an invite—nor did he want one—so he’d been relieved when she hadn’t suggested it.Once, he’d caught a largemouth bass and they’d cooked it over an open flame by the lake.She’d added fresh salsa and tortillas to the meal, which had resulted in the best fish tacos he’d had since a college trip to Baja.
They hadn’t been intimate again and Paul hadn’t pressed her.He didn’t mind waiting.They were rarely alone and the one-bedroom cabin didn’t offer much privacy.He respected her boundaries.She was a single mother, raising a child on her own.As far as Paul could tell, her ex had no involvement in Emily’s life.Vanessa shouldered all the parenting responsibilities by herself and she showered her daughter with affection.
Although they hadn’t indulged in another round of heavy petting on the couch, or gone next door for a frantic quickie on the kitchen countertop, the desire between them hadn’t abated.The air crackled with tension whenever they were together.
Despite this abundance of sexual energy, Paul didn’t feel secure in his position with Vanessa.He wondered how long she would continue their affair.She’d admitted that she had reservations about him.She didn’t trust men, in general.She had no reason to trust him.He had a checkered past, a ton of baggage, and more than his share of secrets.Even so, she hadn’t acted disinterested.She seemed determined to enjoy their summer fling while it lasted.He’d caught her staring at his mouth and hands.She was a sensual woman.He didn’t think she’d had her fill of him.He certainly hadn’t had his fill of her.They were in a holding pattern of sorts.She didn’t ask him personal questions.He didn’t pry into her family issues.They looked at each other a lot, and said very little.
Better progress had been made on the remodel than their relationship.He’d finished the bathroom and one of the bedrooms.A bed frame and mattress would be delivered today.He’d spent the morning installing kitchen cabinets.It was challenging work, satisfyingly physical.Sweat dampened his T-shirt as he set the last piece.
“Do you mind?”
Paul hadn’t heard Vanessa come in over the sound of the power drill.He had the radio cranked up on top of that.He glanced at her through the dusty lenses of his safety glasses.She was standing at the edge of the kitchen with her hands propped on her hips.She switched off the music with an irritated twist.
