Elizabeth took this opportunity to inform her sister of Bingley’s engagement. “There is one other thing I must confess to you, dear sister. I, um, I also asked Fitzwilliam about Mr Bingley. He … Jane, he was already engaged to another before he ever arrived in Hertfordshire. The girl is not yet out, but Bingley and her father entered into an agreement more than a year ago. Even if Mr Bingley loved you, he was not free to pursue you. I am afraid he has used you very ill.”
Jane swallowed. “I will be well, Elizabeth,” she said thoughtfully. “Hearing that did not hurt nearly as much as I expected.”
Elizabeth examined her sister carefully and believed her—Jane’s heart was at last mending. She was confident William would help her introduce Jane to men of his calibre and encouraged Jane to remain in London for at least part of the season. Jane promised to write a letter to her father after Elizabeth’s wedding and ask permission to remain in town.
The two girls spoke a while longer before retiring to their rooms. As she prepared for bed, Elizabeth reviewed her conversation with her aunt and pondered sending a note to Mr Darcy asking him to arrive earlier in the morning before deciding that was too forward—until she realised it was perfectly reasonable for her to write to him since they were engaged. She set about writing him a note to convey her thoughts and worries.
Dearest William,
I must confess that I already miss you dreadfully, even though we spent several hours together today, and you left me here only a short time ago. All evening, I have thought of things I wish to share with you, mostly idle thoughts but some more serious ones that relate to our marriage and our life together. If our courtship and engagement were longer, we would have been able to discuss these in greater detail, but right now, with our marriage imminent, it occurs to me that I know little of Pemberley and your expectations of me as its mistress. My aunt grew up in Lambton—have I mentioned that before?—and has some knowledge of your estate. She shared a little with me, and I became a little anxious to realise I would soon be the mistress of such a great estate until my aunt pointed out I would perform many of the same tasks as I do at Longbourn, only on a larger scale.
At Longbourn, Jane and I visited our tenants, bringing food and other items as needed. We sewed clothes for the children, especially when a new baby arrived, and provided food and medicine when afamily suffered from sickness. These tasks were always ‘too much’ for Mama, so Jane and I took them on several years ago when we began to recognize the needs of the people who worked the land at Longbourn. Likewise, I assisted Papa with his accounts and spoke to him about the needs of the tenants. He allowed me to assist him in meetings with the steward, Mr Todd, and listened to my recommendations, although not as often as I would have liked. It often frustrated me that he would not take any of my suggestions to improve our lot at Longbourn; he did not think it worth the effort when no child of his would inherit the estate.
Additionally, my parents’ marriage is an unequal one—my father is witty and intelligent, while my mother is flighty and not at all clever. Father married her for her beauty, and when that faded, they had nothing in common. Now he prefers to hide in his book room and read while she sits in the drawing room and flutters and gossips. Having five daughters and an entailed estate does not help matters, nor does Papa sharpening his wit on her. I do not think Mama always understands exactly what he means, but she recognises when he is belittling and mocking her.
This leads to my biggest fear—that you will come to regret your decision to marry me. I will strive to be the best wife and mistress of your homes I can be, but I beg for your respect above all else. Love is important, but I do not believe love will last without respect. You have shown me much to respect and admire in you, even when I did not completely like you. You take care of those around you, and there is such obvious affection between your sister and you. I have noticed the prodigious care you take of her and of me now that I have allowed you to do so. I have come to care for you very much, William, but my biggest fear, one that is difficult to share with you, is that you will someday regret me, and our marriage will become like my parents. I could not bear it if you one day despise me because my status does not equal yours, or if you make sport of me, laugh at me, or worse, ignore me. I need your reassurance in this, my love, and if you are uncertain about this, I will release you freely. You do know you are marrying a woman with opinions and the temerity to express them to you frequently, do you not?
I feel it is important to state clearly before I close that I do love you dearly, my William, and I am looking forward to not only the wedding but especially our marriage. Thank you for loving me and for letting me see what a wonderful man you are.
All my love,
Elizabeth
Her letter finished, she sealed it and set it aside to send first thing in the morning. Soon, she fell asleep, dreaming of William.
At Darcy House,Darcy was also awake and thinking abouthisElizabeth. Georgiana retired early, and Richard teased him relentlessly about his upcoming wedding. Darcy reflected on how his life was about to change and was pleased with the life he conjured in his imagination. As he thought about it, he considered how much more Elizabeth’s life would change than his and wondered how she felt about all the changes. Since the wedding was to take place so soon, she would not have time to accustom herself to her new role as Mrs Darcy slowly, and he briefly wondered:Would it be better to return to Pemberley after a short time in London instead of staying for the rest of the season?
He decided to write her a letter to reassure her, in case she had begun to consider all the ways her life would be changing. He did not want to create fears where there were none but was determined to assure her of his love and confidence in her.
My dearest, loveliest Elizabeth,
I find it difficult to believe anyone could touch my heart as acutely as you have done. I know I have said it before, but I want you to know for certain: you are my perfect match. I hope you consider me the same for you. We discussed earlier that it felt like we were two parts of a whole; you are my other half, and without you, I am not complete.
It occurs to me that while both of our lives are about to change, hopefully, for the better, you will face far greater changes andchallenges than I. I hope you will share with me any fears you are experiencing, and I want you to know I have no fears about our future. You are the perfect woman for me—witty and intelligent, not to mention kind and caring. Those qualities drew me to you. As you know, I frequently watched you at Longbourn and Rosings and am well aware of all the wonderful traits you possess that will make you an excellent mistress of Pemberley and of Darcy House and a wonderful hostess when we welcome guests into our homes. You have a way of making others around you feel at ease–which is not a trait I possess—and you are exceedingly kind. I have seen you handle Miss Bingley, so I know you will hold your own in society. There are many women like Miss Bingley who will seek to make you feel less than you are, but I am confident you will face them all with your characteristic wit and charm.
Elizabeth, I so look forward to joining our lives together, my love, and I am confident we will have a happy future together. I look forward to making you my wife so you may join me in serving my estate and assisting me in improving the lives of our tenants and those who depend on us at both Pemberley and Darcy House. I cannot imagine anyone more suited than you to be my wife and mistress of my homes.
I love you very much, my dearest. Until I see you again,
Yours,
William
As Elizabeth had done, he sealed his letter and laid it aside for delivery in the morning.
The following day, each woke early and tasked a servant with delivering their notes to the other. William’s note was accompanied by a small nosegay of pink roses mixed with lavender, and Elizabeth was thrilled to receive them. A sense of peace descended on her when she read his note, mainly because he would have written his note before receiving hers. It soothed her to know their minds had run on such a similar track, and she was now confidenttheir marriage would be unlike her parents’ marriage in every way; she knew she would tell him that very thing when he arrived later that morning.
Chapter Nine
Mr Darcy arrived on Gracechurch Street at the time agreed upon with Colonel Fitzwilliam in tow. The Colonel was introduced to the family, and while he was speaking to Jane and Mrs Gardiner, Darcy stole a moment to whisper with Elizabeth.
“It seems our minds ran similarly last night, my dearest,” William murmured as he sat beside her on a small settee.
She smiled brilliantly at him and laughed lightly. “Yes, it does, William, and I must admit that fact and your note did much to reassure me and eliminate most of my concerns.”
He grinned and brought the hand he was holding to his lips. “I hope to eliminate whatever concerns remain, my love. I am confident your abilities and natural intelligence will make you a wonderful mistress of our homes. With my aunt’s sponsorship and assistance and your wit and vivacity, you will have few difficulties gaining acceptance in the ton. Mrs Reynolds, our housekeeper at Pemberley, will be happy to have a mistress and assist you as you become familiar with our estate. As you mentioned in your letter, you are already familiar with the responsibilities of the mistress of an estate. Pemberley may be somewhat larger than Longbourn, but the principle remains the same. My staffand tenants have not had a mistress for many years, and your care for others and your kindness will make you a most excellent one.”
Glancing around to ensure no one was watching them, she surreptitiously touched William’s cheek and lightly caressed it. “Thank you, William, for your love and your faith in me. I do love you so.”
