Reluctantly, he stood to retrieve them, observing her carefully as she opened the outer envelope and withdrew several letters. She handed him the letter from the steward, although he did not open it as he continued to watch her. Grimacing, she began with the letter from her mother.
“Oh, good grief,” Elizabeth said, exasperation clear in her voice. “Mama writes that both Kitty and Lydia have arrived home and have scolded her for her treatment of me once again. I said nothing to my sisters, either in person or in a letter; however, I know that Kitty likely heard several conversations at the Gardiners’ and Darcy House. She is complaining of her ill-treatment since my sisters have been rather insistent in their chastisement. I will tell Kitty and Lydia to stop, but I do not know what else to do.”
“Does she offer any further apology?” Darcy enquired.
“She does,” Elizabeth sighed. “Once again, she speaks of visiting the tenants and thanks me for teaching my sister how to help them since she did not know or understand what to do. Kitty and Lydia join her in her visits while they are home, and she had forgotten how much they helped before I left. She does admit that she never appreciated the efforts my sisters and I took on their behalf and regrets that she never did it sooner. It is an aspect of being mistress that she ignored, and now that she has no daughters at home, she has found she enjoys it. I realise that as the mistress of an estate, it is a duty that I also enjoy, but it became more difficult to manage after Alex was born. Mama gave birth to five girls relatively quickly, so I am certain she would have found it difficult. However, she never took a role, not even before her children were born and certainly not after. She mocked me for my desire to do so, and I began the visits when Iwas ten or twelve and began to recognise the need. As Mama did not know or care, Charlotte taught me what to do.”
Elizabeth slumped back into her seat and closed her eyes briefly. “She will always be selfish at heart, I am afraid. When I deal with her, it will always feel like dealing with a child.” She sighed deeply and closed her eyes again as she thought about what to do. “I have forgiven her, although it seems I must forgive her repeatedly. I must face the fact that she will never change, and while I may, of necessity, be in her presence again one day, we will never have a relationship.”
“Will you visit Longbourn?” Darcy asked.
“I do not know,” she replied sadly. “I do not think so, as I want little to do with either. There is too little there to hope for any sort of restoration. Perhaps I will be willing to be in their company again—Kitty and Lydia will likely marry eventually, and those weddings will likely occur in Meryton. And if we encounter them in London, I will recognise them, but I will not invite them into our homes. I will meet them at the Gardiners or Jane’s home, but that will be the extent of our relationship, and even that will depend on their behaviour when we encounter them.”
“I understand, love,” he said as he finally opened the letter from the steward. The steward and the housekeeper had nothing unusual to report but reported on the running of the estate and household. There were a few more expenses with the two youngest girls at home, but these were negligible given the estate’s improved income. Since their confrontation nearly two years before, Bennet had taken an interest in the estate, and his efforts had borne fruit. Their correspondence with Mr Bennet returned to his usual impersonal style after the letters when he had apologised to his daughter and son, and this letter waslittle different, although he did make a few comments about his daughters being home and the increased noise that resulted.
They discussed these matters and several others until well past when they usually went downstairs. When they finally emerged from their rooms, they went to their study to write letters. Elizabeth had decided to write to her mother and her sisters. To Kitty and Lydia, she would explain her decision regarding their mother—she would tolerate being in her company when necessary but would not seek her out—and ask them to stop scolding their mother on her behalf.
It is unnecessary, my dear sisters, as I have realised that Mama will never truly change and have accepted that.
Yes, she has taken a more active interest in the estate and the tenants, something she had not concerned herself with before, and that benefits all who live at and depend upon Longbourn. I am incredibly pleased you are assisting her while you are home this summer, as the practice will serve you well someday.
However, you must cease speaking to Mama on my behalf. She is your mother and does not deserve to be scolded by you as though she were a child. You may think you are acting on my behalf, but you are not, as my relationship with Mama is mine to resolve. I will also write to her, but I must insist the two of you stay out of it. Whatever you may have overheard in London or think you may know, forget it all. Concentrate on enjoying your summer at Longbourn, and make plans for what you will do next.
Speaking of which, what are your plans for the autumn and beyond …
The letter continued to ask her sisters their intentions for the autumn. Lydia would not be returning to school, and Gardiners offered to take one or both of them back into their home if they desired. Darcy had agreed to hire a companion for them since their former companion had married, and this companion would aid them in attending events in London when Mrs Gardiner could not escort them. Kitty had a few friends in London, although Lydia had not spent time there. Both girls would accompany Georgiana to events in the spring when the Darcys returned to London, but that would not be until after Easter, and the new baby was old enough to travel.
Elizabeth delayed somewhat and wrote more to her sisters about their plans for the autumn to avoid beginning the letter to her mother. Realising this, she ended the letter to her sisters. She then picked up a new sheet of paper and stared at it. After several moments of this, her husband’s voice startled her.
“Are you well, dearest?” he asked softly.
“I fear I am unsure how to begin writing to Mama. Kitty and Lydia will be surprised at how long a letter I have written them and how I have gone on and on about their plans for the autumn,” Elizabeth laughed at herself. “I must apologise to her for the scoldings that Kitty and Lydia have delivered on my behalf and assure her that I have asked them to stop; after that, well, I am just uncertain what to address and what to ignore.”
“I have struggled not to let resentment eat at me over the situation with my parents. However, knowing that their resentment of each other has made them who they are. I do not want to be like my parents, and I choose to embrace our responsibility towards our children and Pemberley. We are not responsible for them, although we have forced them tomake better decisions that, with luck, will force them to take responsibility for themselves as they move forward.”
“And they will be better for it,” Darcy said, looking up from where he rested his head and pulling her into his lap to cuddle her close. He held her to him for several minutes before he spoke again. “Your sisters have benefited as well; separating them and schooling Lydia will allow them a better chance for happiness in the future. They will both attend events with Georgiana this coming spring, and I would not have been willing to do that had they not improved greatly from how they were when we first married.”
Elizabeth’s laughter bubbled out of her. “They have, have they not. They were awful when we first married, and although Kitty showed a glimmer of potential, I had little hope for Lydia. I was pleasantly surprised by how well Lydia has done since attending school. For a moment, I had believed that she was beyond the point of redemption, but she has done very well. Getting her away from the influence of Mama helped considerably.”
“Your sisters have done well in the last two years and have improved themselves considerably. Jane is well settled, although I do not think she will ever change—she has always viewed things through the most positive lens. Mary is doing well as a vicar’s wife, and Kitty and Lydia will make good matches, but if they choose to remain unmarried, they will have a means of support. The money your father has paid to us has been invested with your uncle, and that fund is doing well. I will add to it as necessary to ensure they have whatever they require,” Darcy replied.
Tears poured down Elizabeth’s face as she hugged her husband. “Once again, you prove you are the ever-responsible Master ofPemberley who I have come to adore. Thank you, my love, for all you do for me.”
After several more minutes of contemplation, she began to write:
Mama,
I apologise that my sisters have taken it upon themselves to upbraid you on my behalf. I am certain they have misunderstood matters they overheard, as I have never spoken with them of how matters lie between us. I have included a letter to the two of them in this same packet, making it clear they should scold you no further.
It is good that you have found much to occupy you in visiting Longbourn’s tenants and working on their behalf. As you will recall, that was something I had done for many years before I married, and I am pleased that the tenants have someone to care for them and to ensure they have all they need. And I enjoy the stories you share about the children—they were my favourite part of visiting the tenants and continue to be so. Pemberley has several tenants, and I enjoy visiting with the children nearly as much as I do their parents. Now that Mary is here, she aids me in this, although she has other concerns as well, and of course, so does my sister Georgiana, although I suspect she may not be with us much longer. She had a very successful season, and I expect her to make a match before too many more. Kitty and Lydia will accompany her into society next year, and I hope that all three will find a man they will love and who will love them just as much.
Mama, I hope you know that I bear you no ill will. Anything that has happened in the past will remain there, and I do not intend to bring it up again or allow others to doso. I am content to see you and my father on those occasions we are in the same location; however, some hurts go too deep to merely be set aside. It should not trouble you that we will not visit Longbourn since we have not done so for nearly two years. I will not go out of my way to see you, nor will I go out to avoid you. There just is too much between us, and while I can forgive you, that does not mean the relationship we had can be restored. I would not want that relationship to be restored, as it was too often hateful and argumentative. If there had ever been a relationship, there would be something to fix now, but that is not the case.
I wish you all the best, Mama, and will continue to respond to your letters, should you want to send them. We can maintain the same impersonal relationship we have now, with you sharing your news and my responding with the same.
I will only add, God bless you, madam,
Your Daughter,
