Darcy shifted slightly to embrace her better. “For some reason, it is particularly difficult for most men to acknowledge when they are wrong. Can you fathom how challenging it was for me to admit my errors to Bingley and then seek you out and do the same? In between those moments, I ended up confessing all to Richard. Though he was not the one I wronged, it was still challenging to admit how arrogant I had become and how mistaken I was during my initial visit to Netherfield. I am not absolving your father, but only to point out that society has ingrained in men, in particular, the belief of never admitting to a wrong and instead just glossing over them.”
Turning in his arms, she frowned up at him. “Do you think a woman has any less pride? I know that you and I reconciled fairly quickly, considering everything between us, but we were aided by dreams that had already caused us both to re-evaluate what we knew about the other. Do you recall the vehemence with which I refused you at Hunsford? Even though that never came about, I can still recall my mortification at realising I was wrong about your character. Had we met a few months later, perhaps, I would have had a difficult time even speaking to you again. Do you recall that I dreamed about meeting you again at Pemberley with my aunt and uncle? I would have been hesitant and embarrassed, most unlike myself …” She felt him chuckle beneath her and lifted a hand to caress his cheek.
“Anyway,” she continued, “anyone with even a modicum of pride would find it difficult to admit to an error, but is it not a mark of maturity to own up to the things we have done that are wrong? Should we not learn and grow from our mistakes and do what wecan to remedy them? We should not brush them under the rug and pretend they do not exist. I have been with my cousins often enough to recognise it as a tactic of a small child.”
Darcy grimaced even as he leaned down to kiss his wife’s forehead. “I know, dearest, and I am not excusing his behaviour at all.” He sighed. “I suppose I am trying to smooth things over for you a little. My father died when our relationship was in a difficult place. We were not able to make things right before he died, and it is something I have always regretted.”
She snuggled back into him. “I am sorry, Will.” Blowing out a breath, she closed her eyes for a moment. “Is it wrong to expect more from him? Or should I be content with whatever I receive? Is his illness a good reason to forgive him and forget what he did?”
He tightened his arms. “I will support whatever you decide, Liz. It may not be possible to reconcile fully, but perhaps you can find a way to make things easier between you. Maybe you can begin by replying to his letter and go from there.”
“I will think about it a day or two before I reply. Since Mrs. Hill was told not to write to me, I will be sure not to mention I know about his collapse. When we return to Pemberley after Christmas, we can try meeting him then. That is, if he even responds to my letter. There is the chance he simply will not acknowledge anything I send; he has always been a poor correspondent and may not feel it worth the bother.”
Darcy nodded but did not reply. Instead, they remained in companionable silence until their conversation moved to other matters. Before either was ready, Elizabeth’s maid informed her it was time to dress for the ball they would attend that evening. They had attended dinners the previous two nights, whileElizabeth had gone about with Lady Matlock on Monday to pay calls and then joined her at Matlock house to receive calls on Tuesday. That morning, they again visited the modiste and a tea shop where several other patrons greeted them. This afternoon was the first time since Sunday they had a moment to relax together, and they were reluctant to give it up.
They sighed deeply as they began to stand, laughing at their similar reactions. “Christmas is not far away, and we will put our foot down with my aunt when we return from Rosings. We will depart for Pemberley after instead of returning to London,” Darcy said after a brief kiss. “I do understand the purpose of enduring this for a time, but neither of us can endure it for months on end.”
Elizabeth’s only reply was a brief kiss that quickly turned into something more. Their dressing was delayed a bit, but their servants were diligent in their tasks and had them ready on time.
A little overa month after the ball that introduced Elizabeth to the ton, the Darcys left London for Rosings to celebrate Christmas. Jane remained with the Gardiners so her suitor could continue to call. Not long after meeting her mother, that gentleman asked Jane for a courtship. Since Lizzy liked him and Mr. Darcy had only heard good things about him, Jane agreed to his request, though after the debacle with Mr. Bingley, she was determined to wait before moving forward. However, the news about her father’s ill health made her wonder if that was wise. Regardless of her decision, the power to ask ultimately was in the gentleman’s hands.
Elizabeth was beginning to feel better as her pregnancy progressed. However, the constant motion of the carriage made her queasiness return, forcing them to make multiple stops. Instead of arriving in the mid-afternoon, they arrived closer to dinner time and had Fitzwilliam not ridden ahead when they reached Bromley, their family would have been very worried about them.
When the couple finally arrived, the entire family was gathered in the drawing room, including Lord and Lady Matlock and their son and his wife, Lord and Lady Ashbourne. The couple rushed to their rooms to wash themselves and dress for dinner. Elizabeth briefly considered asking for a tray to be brought, but since they were not ready to announce her condition, she agreed it was best to go down.
However, she did not count on Lady Matlock suspecting what made them so late, so when she asked a question rather more loudly than she realised, most of the room quickly became aware. Kitty and Lydia had been retrieved from school and joined Anne, Mary, and Georgiana earlier that week, so when it became apparent what Lady Matlock meant, all five girls rushed her to confirm what they heard.
Darcy could only shrug and send Elizabeth a conciliatory smile before stepping beside her and saying loud enough for all to hear: “Yes, we believe we are expecting an addition to our family sometime in the spring. We merely have our suspicions so far, which is why we had not planned on making an announcement at this moment”—he shot a reprimanding look at his aunt as he said this, to which she only smirked—“but it appears likely.”
Lord Matlock and Fitzwilliam stepped up to congratulate him, while the unmarried ladies excitedly peppered Elizabeth withquestions, and Lord and Lady Ashbourne remained in their seats, watching the frivolity with a certain amount of distaste.
Fitzwilliam paused in teasing his cousin to roll his eyes at his brother’s general incivility and disinterest, and the two men briefly wondered how they could all be related. Fitzwilliam whispered that his father had made the two join them since they had skipped the family Christmas celebration, and they were even less pleasant to be around than usual.
The following morning, Elizabeth and Darcy chose to bundle up against the cold to walk through some of the areas where they had conducted their courtship after they met again. The two wandered the paths until they found the grove where they had first reconnected at Rosings. It looked different, but she still recognised it easily.
She did not speak for a moment. “I met you here … in my dream. This is where you gave me the letter,” she told him, knowing he would understand her reference.
He groaned. “While I do not regret that you and I dreamt what we did, and I am incredibly thankful the events in it did not come to pass, I wish it could be forgotten entirely. I hate to think that I was ever the arrogant man I once was.”
Elizabeth turned to embrace him. “But those dreams helped me fall in love with you. Without them, I would not have received you anywhere near as openly, and I would not have accepted your proposal. That dream showed me your true character and made me realise your love for me. I was still wary at first, but after we met and spoke … well, let me just say that had my dreams not prepared me, you would have gotten far worse than what Richard did from Anne.”
Darcy caressed her cheek. “Then I will be grateful for it, though I do cringe at the thought of the words I said to you.”
“You are not that man any more, William,” Elizabeth replied.
“I am not,” he agreed, kissing her forehead. “I love you, my dearest Elizabeth.”
She smiled up at him. “As I love you, my darling William.”
Later that night,Darcy was surprised to learn his wife had retired to bed before the gentleman had rejoined the ladies after supper.
“Are you well, my love?” he asked, surprised to find her already in bed.
“I am tired. I enjoyed our walk, but your child is making everything much more difficult.”
Darcy sat beside her, soothingly rubbing her back. “Your child, too, dearest.”
Elizabeth grinned but was quickly overcome by a yawn. “Forgive me, William.”
