Erena did not answer that. Which was its own kind of answer.
Dyna looked at the queen’s profile. She had known Erena long enough to know her silences, their different shapes. This one was not the silence of a woman who had not yet decided. It was the silence of a woman who had decided something she was not yet ready to say aloud.
When Erena spoke Morvran’s name again, asking Dyna once more to hold the secret, to carry it through the Dark Hollow and past it, to say nothing to Lia or to anyone who did not already know, Dyna heard the underlying truth. Not hatred. Not triumph. Not the satisfaction of outlasting an enemy. Something older than any of those things, and considerably more complicated.
She did not ask.
She had carried other people’s truths for most of her long life. She had learned that the ones people were not yet ready to name were the ones that cost the most to ask about.
“I will keep it,” Dyna said.
Erena was gone before Dyna finished turning her head.
She sat alone on the wall in the graying morning, the weight of a queen’s three-century secret settled across her shoulders and thought about how she would look Lia in the eye today, and the day after, and all the days that followed.
She told herself that she had done harder things.
She was not sure she believed it.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Ailith
Ailith stood a short distance from where the faery hill had once sat, though it was currently invisible. She and John were about to enter for the second time. This time, she vowed, she would find Heilyn and get her away before tomorrow’s full moon.
She waited nearby while Lia finished a final chat with Dyna and Sylvi. Uncle Connor spoke with her father, Magni, Morgan, Sandor, and John. Her uncle would remain outside with Edan, Sylvi, and Ailith’s mother while she and Dyna went inside. Maitland and Grant were also present, waiting for John’s signal that Grant was needed. Edan had brought two parents from Finlaggan, hoping to see their missing sons freed.
Derric, Tora, and Aunt Maeve stayed behind with Daran. He hadn’t been happy about it until Cormac promised them all a boat ride. Ailith’s group wouldn’t be gone long, as darkness was nearly upon them.
Lia had suggested a later entry simply because the earlier one had failed.
Edan joined Ailith, his sword on his back. He reached for her hand, and that familiar flutter deep in her belly stirred again, a feeling she could always count on when he touched her. It reminded her of Erena’s butterflies, though the literal thought of insects inside her did not thrill her.
“Ailith, say the word and I’ll go with you.”
“I know, but given what we know about your iron blood, I fear it could go badly. Let me try again, with Dyna’s help.” With the warriors ready to hold off the fortified soldiers and the sapphire sword at their disposal, she was confident they would have enough time to find Heilyn.
“Promise me one thing, please.”
“I will if I can.”
His hands enveloped hers, warming them in the cool evening air. She could tell he struggled with their impending task, but her visions had returned last eve as well.
“Promise me that if you cannot find her, you’ll come and get me. Everyone else can stay outside if you’re afraid of it collapsing, but please, give me the chance to save my daughter.”
“I can’t do that, Edan.”
“By all saints that are holy, Ailith. Give me the chance to save my daughter. She doesn’t know you. You must allow me in. Please.”
She knew how much this angered him, and while she feared he would not forgive her for this, she had to protect the bairns and do what was right. “Edan, nay. You could do more harm than good.”
“How would you know if I have not tried?” His expression was harsh and unforgiving, but she would not be intimidated by Edan or anyone else.
She knew what she had to do and she would not be distracted from her purpose. She stared at her hands, struggling with the truth she held inside before finally deciding to tell him. “I dreamed of you and the hill again.”
His brow arched and he said only one word, “And?”
“And it went as poorly as the last time I had it. You fell to your knees, bleeding from your ears and your eyes, screaming Heilyn’s name. I have to believe we’ll find her, Edan. I’m more confident than on our previous trip. We know where we’re going, and besides, I believe Sandor. My great-grandfather, Aunt Gwyneth, and Uncle Jake will all be there to help us. I’ll ask Gwyneth to find her.”
