Though still weakened by his wound, the strength of his body radiated through their touch as she helped guide him to his bed. Mrs. Higgins had discovered his disappearance and was on the brink of sounding the alarm when they arrived in his room.
With a subtle nod, the housekeeper understood the new development.
The secret was out.
Perry was furious, as was she. He had disturbed her peace. Hehad placed demands on her when she was used to being her own mistress.
Perhaps he had mistaken her for the girl of her youth, but Charlotte would bow to no man. After losing the ability to choose as a younger woman, she was determined to be the master of her own destiny. The arranged marriage to an older man, the pregnancy, all had been realities thrust upon her. She quite enjoyed the life she had created for herself at Fermoy and was reluctant to let anyone disturb it. Especially Perry, the man who had married another, shattering her heart into a million pieces. What good would it be to indulge his reminiscence? Would he want her to be his mistress once he realized she had never married? The pull between them was still strong, but she resisted it.
She must resist.
Keeping Aurelia out of sight was paramount, lest all her truths come floating to the surface. There were still some secrets that were safe.
She pulled the blankets over Perry once he stretched out in the bed. Yanking the blankets from her grasp with a grumble, she crossed her arms and tilted her head, giving it a shake.
“Do you require anything more for your comfort?” she asked, watching him.
“I am perfectly fine. I will ring for a servant if I need anything,” he said in a dismissive tone. “I need some time to consider everything I have learned today.”
Charlotte huffed. “Very well. Perhaps it is time to arrange for your departure, given that you are showing signs of your health returning.” She pressed her lips together and turned on her heel to leave the room.
“Please tell the servants I have no intention of leaving Fermoy. We have much to discuss,” he called out behind her.
A shiver skated across the surface of her skin.
“I’m not sure there is much more I can tell you,” she tossedover her shoulder. Gripping the knob in her hand, she turned, the sensation of his eyes boring into her back unbearable.
“We will see what tomorrow brings,” he spoke in a sharp tone, almost threatening, which was unlike him. “I am not quite done with our conversation.”
Charlotte swallowed.
She would have to come up with something to mollify him. Reassure him so that he could go on his merry way and leave her in peace. The longer he stayed at Fermoy, the higher the risk of her other secret coming out.
If Perry found out the true reason for her staying away those many years ago, there was a chance he would take matters into his own powerful hands.
Charlotte might be in charge at Fermoy, but out there, she was nothing.
She had no weapons to prevent him from taking what was rightfully his.
Chapter Seventeen
Charlotte glanced in the looking glass once more with a critical eye. Nothing would hide the shadows under her eyes or the sick pallor of her freckled skin. A wave of nausea roiled in her stomach as she glanced at the untouched tray sitting on the table in her bedroom. Aamina would not be pleased, but it was time for her moment of reckoning with Peregrine. The man she had attempted to push out of her heart and leave in the past.
His mere presence stirred a long-forgotten pain in her chest and a familiar ache in her body. He reminded her of what had been missing, all these years alone. The motherly love she so generously bestowed upon Aurelia would never be enough. Her heart—and her body—craved more. The ache that persistently thrummed within her was a constant reminder of what only he could give her.
Once she told him the truth, he would be furious. He would tear the roof off Fermoy with his bellowing rage. Or perhaps he would be reasonable? Perhaps his passions were less strong once the sun shone and the warm blossom-sweetened air drifted into his bedroom. Charlotte waited until Aamina confirmed that the earl had eaten a meager meal. His appetite hadn’t yet been restored,which added to the pile of worries overwhelming her thoughts. Charlotte had hoped the food would have put him in a better mood.
With a flourish of her brush, she untangled her long brown hair and braided it, curling the braid into a chignon at the base of her neck. It was the simple country hairstyle she had lived with for many years. She saw no one besides the servants and her child most days, therefore had no reason to dress in the latest fashions or maintain the most intricate hairstyles. She lived as a shadow, appearing in her own spaces, spending time with her daughter, and the garden. The rest of the time, anyone watching the estate would not know she even existed.
It had been easy to maintain her presence a secret from Perry while he was unconscious. Now, he was awake. And bewildered. And very heated, she remembered with apprehension. She rubbed her wrist where he had grabbed her the other night, startling her out of her nightly routine of watching and caring for him in silence. Little had she known that it was the beginning of the end. Her peace had been shattered. Charlotte closed her eyes to the woman in the mirror and pressed a hand to her breast.
Would her heart ever cease racing?
She would convince him to keep her secret. Satisfy him with a half-truth.
He would convalesce until he was able to venture to his estate, which shouldn’t be too long. With a loud inhale, Charlotte stood and adjusted her skirts nervously. She walked through the hallway to his bedroom, the familiar pounding in her chest sickening, as she faced the person she both longed for and dreaded to see. A warm flush heating her skin, she smoothed the skirt of her most becoming gown, the one that accentuated her best features, hoping in desperation that she could seduce him into silence with her charms. She shook her head as she faced the door to his bedroom.
These meetings would have to come to an end, for propriety’s sake.
