Leaning her elbows on the table, she buried her head in her hands. Her thoughts scattered like dandelion seeds on the breeze. Desperately, she reached for the small bits of truth that remained. All she could see were lies. A marriage of convenience. A husband returned from the dead. A secret child. A story of lost love found. She was moving from one deception to another. Was there anything in her life that was real?
A gasp was torn from her throat as hands touched her thighs. She looked down to see Perry, on his knees. The Earl of Winchesterwas on his knees. Should he even be on his knees? He should be in bed.
“Please, help me make this right for Aurelia,” he pleaded. “I cannot do this alone. I need your help. Marry me and all will be well. I promise.” He came forward, his hands snaking around her waist, and he rested his head in her lap. “It will be as it always should have been.”
Unbidden, she stroked his hair as she considered.
For years, she had missed this man. It pained her to deny him anything.
Though he would never know it, there would be no acting when she spoke of a lost love returned. Even if time and circumstances had kept them apart, a small flicker of the affection she once bore for him always remained. Every part of her body begged her to see this through.
To revel in the delight of being his once more.
Properly his.
Even if it was merely a façade they were projecting for the benefit of their daughter. He had been clear about his motivations. There were no declarations of love, only tenderness for what they had meant to each other a long time ago. He treasured their friendship.
We are simply making things right for Aurelia.
The words thrummed inside her mind. This was an arrangement for their daughter. A marriage to assuage his guilt. Nothing more. She would do well to never forget it, lest she end up feeling the same pain of losing him, as she had many years ago.
“Please, Lottie.” The words were spoken softly, a plea sent directly to her heart. His gaze held hers, making an unfavorable answer impossible. “I need to make amends for the past. I cannot do it if you will not let me.”
She appreciated how he acted as though she had a choice. It would be foolish to pass up the chance to become an accepted member of society once more. There was no doubt her familywould be delighted upon her return. Scandal or not, she would be a countess. Though her daughter would not benefit from the same status as a child born within the confines of marriage, her future prospects would improve greatly.
Perry closed his eyes as her fingers wound their way through his hair.
How she had once loved touching the silky strands…when they kissed, when they lay together.
She stifled a sob. What a fool she had been to think she had a choice in this. “I will.”
Perry lifted his head and gave her a devastating smile that squeezed her heart.
Rather than return the smile, she tore herself from his arms, needing a moment to clear her mind.
“Wait,” Perry called to her.
“I need a moment,” she said breathily as she sought the door to the room. Clutching a hand to the doorjamb, she looked back. Perry was still on his knees, a bewildered expression on his face
It was for the best. He was not yet recovered and needed more rest. She had to leave the room before she remembered any more of the feelings his presence aroused. Dusting off the memories of their past was an act of pure torture. The happiness she had enjoyed had been as powerful as it had been fleeting. It would be imperative not to get caught up in those familiar sensations and give away more than she had already.
After all, Perry did not ask her for love.
He asked her to play a role. This was a marriage of convenience.
For Aurelia.
Charlotte would do best not to forget the terms of the arrangement. Walking briskly from Perry’s room, she escaped unseen to the safety of her bright blue and white bedroom, where she collapsed on her bed. Then, she let the tears flow quietly into her soft feather pillow. She mourned the precious peace that had beenshattered by her lust, her greed, her desperate need for the man who tempted her beyond reason.
The situation was of her own making. If she had stayed away or sent him to Bodmin to recover, he would never have discovered them. Her secret would have remained intact. She would have remained alone and content with Aurelia.
Charlotte failed to acknowledge that there would be a time in Aurelia’s life where her future would have to be decided, and this was one of the major shortcomings of her original plan. With his proposal, Perry had offered her a perfectly reasonable solution to her future quandary.
Charlotte both loved and despised him for it.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Perry acquired a common license for the nuptials to ensure they could be married quickly and quietly by the parish priest. The priest, a jolly fellow with an exceptional sweet tooth, had promised them to be discreet and understood the need for the hasty wedding. Perry played the role of the eager groom well. Though it wasn’t ideal, he didn’t require Baron Percy’s permission to marry his daughter. Confident the man would approve, Perry proceeded with planning the ceremony, knowing the baron could not deny the history between them. Both their families were aware of Aurelia’s existence. Only he was kept in the dark, a fact that filled him with a simmering rage.
