I grin, staring off into space. “Some of it was mine. I did clean myself off of you first.”
“Even better.”
I blink down at him. “We do make a pretty good team, don’t we?”
He smiles and nods, looking down at his lap. “We do. Think we were always going to be inevitable, one way or another?”
I think on that for a minute. They say when you love something you can let it go, and if it comes back, it must be meant to be, right? Something along those lines, anyway. Regardless, I haven’t let go of his response to my attempt at an apology I made a while back, the one about me being sorry for not letting him in before.
We needed the time apart to grow and mature, I see that now. If we had never broken up, or whatever you want to call it, I honestly don’t think we would have panned out well together. He was wild and carefree; I was dedicated to my family. Sometime during our years apart, he settled down. Whether that was because of the accident or from starting a family of his own, I’m not sure. Either way, now that we’ve had some time apart, I think we’ll be stronger together because of it.
“Fate sure is something,” I agree with him, since I know he is a big believer in all that.
He nods just as Lauren steps back into the room. Then, his eyes flick up to mine. “Wanna show us those videos?”
“They don’t hurt?” Caleb asks me as we’re seated at a random Mexican-cuisine inspired restaurant I pulled up on Google as soon as Caleb mentioned he was hungry and craving tacos.
I think he was expecting me to pull up to a Taco Bell drive-thru or something. But since he and I both had the day off, I was already going to bite the bullet and get my nipples pierced in Bangor, and so I took this as an opportunity to make an entire day-date out of it, taking advantage his offer to accompany me. We’re sitting down and dining in. I’m getting C those tacos he wants, and I’m going to do it all while unabashedly wearing a cute outfit and showing him some PDA while out in public. Hell, I may even hand-feed my man his tacos.
My man.Sounds official, doesn’t it? Sure feels like it, and it’s time I stop being leery of who finds out. Crack the closet door and peek out of it a little.
Caleb claps his hands together to get my attention. “Hello?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I mean, they do a little bit. Like, duh, I had two metal bars shoved through my nips, but it’s not terrible.”
“You’ve nearly graduated to the point where you can try out how it feels to get a pole through your throat,” he deadpans.
I wince. “Jesus, Caleb. How are you so flippant about it?”
He shrugs. “Whether I joke about it or not isn’t going to change the outcome, why should I continue to sulk about it? Did enough of that, in the beginning, for a long time. Now that I’m working on this in therapy, I’m figuring out how to not let the things I cannot change dictate my future. ”
I blink at him. “Did going through those videos a couple of weeks ago bring back some old hurt?”
He nods, looking down at the table. “A little.”
I tap the table a couple of times to get his attention. When his gaze flicks back up to me, I switch over to signing to talk to him. “I can’t fix it, obviously, but if you want someone to sit with you in it, while you go through it, I’m here.”
“Thank you,” he replies, offering me a soft smile. “I’m so fortunate that I have both you and Lauren and that you both are able to communicate with me. I’m also thankful that her therapist linked me up with mine. Being able to communicate without jumping through a ton of hoops is huge. ”
“It would be nice if more schools offered sign language as an option, wouldn’t it?” I continue to sign, deciding that I’m going to get a better look at the world from his perspective, to get a better appreciation for all the hurdles he’s had to jump through just to get a simple point across.
“Cam’s actually been working on that for one of his school projects,” Caleb notes. “He would like to bring it up to the school board in Ternbay.”
“That would be awesome if he did. Brody, for one, would be pumped.”
Caleb grins. “I’m sure he would. If anyone can do it, Cam can. He’s got the tenacity, that’s for sure.”
“Oh my god, yes. He’s got such a good head on his shoulders. Very mature for his age.”
Caleb wobbles his head. “Most of the time.”
When the waiter comes over to take our orders, I order the same way Caleb does—without my voice. It’s hard, I have to point a lot, I even have to dig my phone up and open up my notes app to make things easier to understand, but I do get the job done and I have a whole new appreciation for just how much harder it is for Caleb… and this was just a tiny glimpse.
After the waiter steps away, I pick back up on our conversation, realizing that there’s a sense of relief that washes over me knowing that he understands what I’m saying. He must feel that too, only when he feels it, it’s about a thousand times more amplified. Wow, just… wow. It also makes me appreciate the work Lauren does that much more.
“Did Cam ever reply to his grandparents?” I ask him.
He nods. “He took Lauren’s advice and set some boundaries with them up-front. He’s going to go down there and spend a couple of days with them next week for Thanksgiving Break, but he will not tolerate any shit-talking when it comes to me. Even in the form of backhanded comments. Primarily, he wants to see how Aaron is doing with his own eyes. He wants to let him know, in person, that we haven’t forgotten about him, not at all.”
