The sports commentators continued to provide background noise in my bedroom, giving a play-by-play of the game Hendrix played against Detroit. With my Egyptian cotton towel wrapped tightly around my body, I carried myself from my bathroom and into my closet to pull out my suitcase. With one quick tug, I tossed it on top of my bed and cracked it open to start packing for my trip to Miami for a tech conference I was speaking at in a few days.
I’d always be a Cali girl at heart, but over the past three months, I had really started to find my groove in New York. Hendrix’s realtor friend had come through, and I got to call a brand new two-bedroom apartment with a view from the thirty-second floor my new home on the Upper East Side. I’d halfway figured out how to navigate the subway system, and I’d found a good takeout spot a few blocks awayfrom my building with the best cheesecake I’d ever had in my life. Aside from getting accustomed to new responsibilities at work, I’d spent my time in thecity that ‘never sleeps’ getting both my new place and my fragile heart in order. As I started on my true journey of healing, I let the words of my girls and Hendrix soak in, only to realize that I was passing off the broken, unhealed version of myself as something more complete than what I was.
My laundry list of failed relationships and underlying current of insecurity had created a festering wound that I never took the time out to properly nurse. I slapped a band-aid over it and kept moving. Truthfully, my heart still hadn’t processed the magnitude of damage Omar caused, and then I allowed Hendrix to come in and take the battered and scarred pieces that were left. So, I cut both dating and sex from my diet completely and awarded myself with time to grow and heal until I felt I could come correct. When that time came, the only person I was going to step to was Hendrix Croft. I wanted to make sure I had nothing but harvested positive energy to give to him because it was what he deserved most.
I swiped up the remote and turned the TV volume down when I heard the factory iPhone ringtone. “Hey, girl,” I answered for Lauryn.
“Hey, lady. What are you doin’?”
“Just got out of the shower not too long ago,” I said, plopping down on my side of the bed. “What about you? How’s mommy life treating you? I can’t believe I still haven’t gotten the chance to fly out and meet little miss Bleu yet. These FaceTime calls ain’t cuttin’ it. I want all the baby cuddles!”
“It’s…fuckin’ nothin’ like I thought it would be. All she does is piss and shit and throw up all day. And then has the nerve to not wanna go to sleep. Like, sis, chill. You ain’t missin’ nothin’ out in these streets,” she complained.
I could hear the irritability from lack of sleep in her voice. “Oh, the joys of motherhood.”
“You gon’ find out one day, trust.”
I cocked my head to the side. “You have to have sex to get pregnant, remember?”
She chuckled. “Shit, not these days.”
“Have Brielle or Shauna been by?”
“They both have on separate occasions, but you know Bri is starting her new job in Sacramento next week, so she’s been trying to get settled.”
“I hear that. I still have boxes stuffed in the corner frowning at me,” I admitted.
“Shauna’s ass came by just before she headed to the airport.”
I smacked my turned-up lips. “That hoe ain’t tell me she was going out of town when I talked to her last.”
“Hell yeah. She’s on the move, move! Talkin’ ‘bout she need a six-month vacation twice a year.” She giggled.
I belted out a quick laugh. “I know that’s right. I’m with her on that! I’d give anything to be laid up on somebody’s beach right now. That’s exactly what I plan to do at least one of these days I’m in Miami,” I babbled, before getting up to toss my bikini into my suitcase.
“Um, excuse me? Miami? What exactly do you have planned this weekend? Why wasn’t I invited?” She pouted.
“Chill. It’s all work, and little to no play. I’m speaking at a tech conference there on Thursday. I’m actually trying to pack a few things right now.”
“Oh wee! Look at you! My bitch is headlining business conferences and shit now! Okay! I see you!”
“Chill, I’m far from the headliner, but it’s still pretty dope,” I acknowledged.
“Dope, indeed.”
I distractedly sidled down the hallway and over to the oversized window in the living room taking in the 360-degree view of the city. “Yeah…”
“So…” Lauryn probed.
“What?”
“I heard the game on in the background…when’s the last time you spoke to you know who?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly who she was referring to. “Maybe a week or two ago. Not really sure.” I shrugged.
Although I was taking a much-needed break from men, my soul stillmissedHendrix like no other. He checked in from time to time, or Iwould reach out to congratulate him on a win or offer a kind word or two after a loss, but we’d had no physical contact. Not even a FaceTime call.
“Not really sure, huh?”
