My appetite leaves entirely, but I eat to keep pretending everything’s fine. To keep from reading more into Meredith’s reaction, but the interpretation I keep coming up with isn’t in my favor.
My earlier run-in with Finn flashes back to me, as if that’s better to think about than our conversation. But it brings a question to mind.
“Bea, do you know anything about Holly and her camera? We can’t find it, but she must’ve had it with her that day.”
“She’d been taking pictures lately.” Bea smacks her lips as she chews. “Said she was trying to improve her technique.”
“Holly adored Julia’s photos,” Meredith adds quietly. “It was ten years before she removed them from the house. Holly never took a lot of pictures. I mean, she did with her phone. The normal stuff, not for art like your mom. Then, suddenly, she shows up with her camera. The last few months, she had it on her all the time. Sawyer used to tease her that the camera was a new necklace.”
Bea smiles and squeezes Meredith’s arm. “What did she like to take pictures of?”
Meredith shrugs. “We never saw the images. Maybe she was working on another scrapbook, maybe of Crossroads for me and Sawyer.”
“Maybe it’s one of those thumb drives Ram seemed to favor.” Bea chuckles. “So many of them. You get into them all, Calder?”
“All the ones I could find.” Two more had fallen out of desk drawers. Bowen and I combed through the ones that still worked. “No pictures.”
“Did your sister have a cloud account, dear?” Bea brandishes her half-nibbled drumstick like a pointer. “She was more up to date than Ram.”
“I don’t know if she uploaded or printed anything. She bought the camera used and said she couldn’t use Wi-Fi with it, only SD cards.” Meredith’s laugh is weak. “I heard them arguing once. They were in the office, and Ram’s old computer couldn’t handle her card, and when I asked…” Her expression flickers like it’s not a good memory. “Well, it wasn’t any of my business, so they didn’t want my help.”
“Oh. That’s unfortunate,” Bea says. “He wasn’t himself the last few weeks. The weight of the world was on that man’s shoulders.”
“Holly was tense too.” Sadness fills Meredith’s eyes, and if Bea weren’t here, I’d pull her onto my lap. But then it’s gone, and she gives us a tight smile. “I guess I just thought it was the finances. She wanted to help, but…couldn’t.”
“Ram wanted to save the world and spare everyone else.” Bea aims an understanding smile in my direction. “You can be like him in a lot of ways, so make sure you don’t do that. Ask for help, Calder. Let people know what’s going on. Let them in.”
I want to ask how I’m like my dad, but I don’t want the answer. I’m headstrong. I want to take the responsibility for everyone. I keep doing the same damn thing when signs are telling me to change.
She drops the clean bone onto her plate and pushes her chair back. “Welp, thanks for the meal. I’ve gotta meet my granddaughter. She wants me with her when she gets her first tattoo.”
“Are you getting one too?” I’m only partly teasing. Bea’s full of surprises.
Her smile is sly. “I’ve already got my fair share.”
There’s one of the surprises. “Seriously? Bea, how have I not seen them?”
“Oh, I keep them hidden.” Her face crinkles with her grin. “Ned never liked them, so when he passed, I might’ve gotten to know Jayden at Stained Skin Designs over the years. I get a ten percent discount now.”
She goes to grab her plate.
“I’ll clean up,” I say. “Don’t worry about that.”
“Always looking after people.” She grips her walker. When she passes me, she gives my back a few solid thumps. “You’re always taking care of others, my boy. Let them reciprocate.”
I get up to hold the door open for her. When I sit again, I meet Meredith’s steady gaze.
“She’s right,” Meredith says.
This time, I give in and pivot my chair to face her. Then I drag her onto my lap. She comes easily, straddling my legs and draping her arms around my neck. I could sit like this all day, with her round ass on my thighs and my arms around her. My dick has taken notice, but I can manage my erection before we’re open to the public.
“There’s only one thing I want for me.” I wouldn’t have felt her stiffen if she weren’t on my lap. “I’m not pressuring you.”
“I know.” She places a kiss on my lips. “Mmm. You taste like root beer.”
“It’s what I’ve seen you drink the most other than Honey Creek.”
“You’ve been watching me?”
