I crush my mouth against hers, backing her up so she’s pressed against the glass doors that lead out to the back deck. I hear her breathy laugh as my hand grips the back of her neck, the other one moving to grab her hip.
“Yes,” I groan against her mouth, knowing in an instant the answer to her question. It hits me with a clarity I have never felt before, and the second it does, I know it’s everything I want too.
“Yes?” she asks.
“Yes, I want kids,” I murmur. “I want kids with you.”
She smiles, her arms wrapping around my waist. “Well, that’s good to know for the future.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head, needing her to understand. “I want to do this with you now, Quinn.”
“Kai, what?” she says with a laugh. “You literally just said I love you for the first time. Let’s take a sec.”
I pull back, gently squeezing the back of her neck. “I don’t need a sec, babe,” I tell her. “I love you, and I want to do this with you.”
“Yeah, but?—”
Smiling, I shake my head. “You said it yourself, babe, you’re getting old, so really, we gotta get started, like, right now.” I’m teasing her, and I think she knows this, but still, I’m also serious.
“Okay, cheeky,” she replies, smacking my chest. “But we have time. We can wait a year.”
“I don’t want to wait a year,” I tell her. “I wanna knock you up now. Have babies with you now.”
“Babies?”
“Babies,” I confirm with a nod, a huge grin on my face as I picture a tribe of kids that are all a perfect blend of me and her. A tribe of kids that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want with her.
“Oh my god,” she says with a laugh.
Chuckling, I give her another quick kiss as I say, “So yeah, we’re gonna try?”
She snorts out another laugh now as she says, “I don’t know. We don’t even live together. God, I don’t even know your middle name or your birthday or?—”
“Babe,” I say. “All of that can be fixed.”
She exhales. “I know.”
“You want kids,” I remind her.
“I do.”
“And I want to give them to you. I want to have them with you,” I say, smiling.
“I do too,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears.
“Okay. So let me just put this fish back in the fridge, and we can go get started.”
“So, no more birth control?” I question, my heart hammering in my chest so loudly and wildly I can feel it everywhere.
And it’s not out of fear.
Not in the least.
It’s excitement and happiness, and this feeling of finding a place I belong with people I love and who love me. There’s so much realness and honesty, and comfort and normalcy, and just raw trust. I don’t have to think twice about anything when I’m with Kai, and to finally feel like myself again is freeing.
He gave me all of that, and I took it willingly and without reservation, despite what I left behind in New York. What sold me on Hawaii and Kai and all his friends is the way they support each other. No questions asked, no gossip or competition, no jealousy or judgment.
They stand up for each other, share everything they love, and build lives together. It’s beautiful and perfect, and everything I’ve ever wanted.
