Quinn blinks quickly, glancing at Helen, who is standing beside us as she nods. “Yeah, we’re good, thanks.”
Helen reaches between us to clear our plates, and I don’t miss the way her tits brush against my arm when she does. I don’t know what she’s playing at because she and I have never been a thing. Sure, we might have hooked up once or twice back in high school, but that was years ago, and it was never anything more than that. Last I heard, she had a boyfriend anyway.
“Thanks,” I say, giving her a quick nod as I turn back to Quinn. “So, you wanna hang out, maybe come to this bar?—”
“I can’t,” she says, cutting me off as she slides off her stool, which is now positioned between us. “Thanks, umm, thanks for lunch. I should...I need to go.”
“Quinn, wait,” I call, reaching for her as she turns to leave.
She’s quick, though, practically running to the door and disappearing before I’ve even stood. And when I step outside, she’s nowhere to be seen, practically disappearing into thin air.
“Fuck,” I mutter, lifting my cap as I shove a hand through my hair before replacing it.
What the hell was that about?
I don’t know what the hell I was thinking agreeing to have lunch with him. The ache I feel in my heart has now turned to a stabbing pain, a wound that I thought was healing has just ripped wide open.
This situation is no different from what I left, but this time I won’t be oblivious to it. Kai’s only plan for me is to get me in the sack and leave.
I’m not interested in that, nor am I interested in a relationship. The reason I left New York was to put my past behind me and heal. Healing is not hooking up with some random guy who possibly has an STD. Things are still too raw, too real, and before I can stop them, the tears begin to fall.
My rental is in the distance, blurry and distorted, but the color makes it stand out, and I can’t get there fast enough. Solace and calm, deserted and alone.
I need time to process what I’ve gone through with Sean, and I haven’t done that. If anything, I took off, leaving it behind and hoping I left my broken heart and my busted feelings with it. That didn’t happen. All I’ve done is push them into the back of my mind and foolishly accepted a date with a fuck boy.
I push the key into the lock, but as I do, the pineapple hanging on the front door swings loose from the nail holding the top.
It pendulum swings back and forth for a few seconds, ultimately stopping so it’s now hanging upside down.
“Fucking great,” I mutter, running my hand over where a nail hole now sits, but no nail remains. Looking down at the ground, I swipe at my eyes, trying to rid them of the tears, but everything still looks hazy. Finding that missing nail will be impossible.
But I still drop to my knees, feeling around on the worn wooden decking as my tears leave wet blotches in my path.
I don’t even know what I’m doing—a distraction of sorts—but it’s not working. If anything, it’s just making me cry harder, my mind filled with images of Sean on top of that girl, and then they change to Kai and the waitress.
Why?
He isn’t my boyfriend. I have no right to think about him like that, and he can fuck that waitress all he wants. I just won’t be waiting in the sidelines stupidly and unaware. I’m not a doormat, even if I clearly was before.
Collapsing on the deck, I pull my knees up to my chest and just cry. Hard, chest-heaving, painful sobs because I haven’t given myself a chance to just feel. To let out all the pain and the tears I’ve held back, somehow thinking living in paradise would take away everything I’ve kept bottled up.
It didn’t work, and now I’m sobbing uncontrollably under the tropical sun and the warm ocean breeze. I guess if I’m going to have a mental breakdown, this is the place to do it.
But it’s the distance from Sean that brought me here. Far enough away that he couldn’t hop a plane and beg me to take him back. There’s anonymity here, and my place is far enough off the road that no one can hear me wailing.
Burying my face in my knees, I just cry, cathartic and cleansing sobs, letting it all out. But I feel him before I see him—a pulsing energy that feels like it should be a warning.
A presence and a scent that makes my body war with itself as my heart aches for love, but my brain is screaming at me to run.
Run.
Just like I did earlier.
I don’t have the strength to do it right now.
“You alright, Quinn?” Kai asks, sliding down so he’s sitting next to me, but I don’t look over at him. I push my forehead into my knees, not wanting him to see me like this. He’s the kind of guy who would thrive on knowing he upset me.
But this isn’t even about him. He just happened to be here.
