“Because you want to readMartin Chuzzlewit.”
“Yes,” he said, not trying to hide the exasperation in his voice. “Because I want to readMartin Chuzzlewit.” He had absolutely no desire to read Dickens on this evening. He didn’t know what he wanted, but dancing with Miss Shroud would be a mistake.
“May I come in?” she asked in a business-like tone.
“What?” Riding on the cart together out in the open was bad enough. They definitely couldn’t be alone in his room together. “No. I don’t even have a place for you to sit.”
“Please, Mr. Harrison? If ye aren’t going to dance with me, I’ve an experiment to try.”
“Whatever you need to try would be better accomplished out of doors.”
“I don’t believe ye would feel that way if ye knew what I wanted to try.”
“What is it?”
“Something both my sister and Mrs. Tucker have encouraged me to do. Before I come in, I need ye to know that ’twasn’t my idea.”
“You are not coming into my room, Miss Shroud. I’ve allowed you to ride on my cart and be alone with me every day for more than two weeks, but I draw the line at the two of us unchaperoned in my room.”
“Ye could invite Mrs. Tucker in as well, though I’m not certain she’d be comfortable watchin’ what I want to do.”
“I’d be comfortable,” Mrs. Tucker announced from the shadows. “But if Miss Shroud is planning what I think she is planning, you may not want me there.”
What kind of paid companion would say such a thing? “Mrs. Tucker, I won’t be allowing Miss Shroud in my room, with or without you.”
“Then you’d best come dance with her,” Mrs. Tucker said. “Or I don’t think she will leave.”
“Now?” Matthew asked.
Miss Shroud furrowed her brows. “Would you rather dance with me tomorrow while we make deliveries? No one would have to see us, if you are particularly bad.”
“I amnotbad at dancing, and I was unaware that I needed to dance with you at all.” Miss Shroud’s face fell, and by all that was holy, he wished he could take back his comment. She’d been so quiet all morning, and now she was finally speaking to himagain. The least he could do was refrain from biting back at every word she said.
“If ye are unwillin’ to dance with me, I definitely shouldn’t try my other idea.”
Her other idea, which involved coming into his room? What the devil did this woman have planned? If he asked, he was certain to regret it.
She lifted a foot threateningly, as if she were about to push her way into his room, but he reached out and grabbed her hand. “Give me a moment to put myself together, and I’ll join you in the town square. One dance, then I’m coming back here to explore the Arctic.”
Her eyes met his, and then dropped to his book. She couldn’t know, could she, that now when he imagined himself bundled up in his Arctic gear, discovering new places and eating fish day in and day out, that she was with him? Making him laugh and complaining about how cold she was? She would never guess, would she? That when the wind blew particularly hard and snow whipped about their faces, he would gather her in his arms and promise to keep her warm, then punch his pillow and curse himself for being a fool.
“And ye won’t take me with ye?”
Her question was like a knife. “No, Miss Shroud. I won’t. I can’t. But I can dance with you tonight, after I get my jacket.”
For a reason he didn’t understand or want to explore, he left his door open while he ran his fingers through his hair, unrolled his sleeves, and put on his jacket. He knew she was watching him from the doorway, and it set his nerves on fire. He tied his cravat with shaking fingers and turned to look at her.
It was a mistake.
Miss Shroud’s eyes were bright. She’d stepped forward to the point where she wasn’t quite in his room, but her toe touched the edge of it. She looked as if she wanted nothing more than to skiptheir dance and come in and…what? Read with him? Help him straighten his cravat?
He tore his eyes away from her and snuffed out his oil lamp. The room went dark, and before he could think of that particular situation, he strode to the door at marching speed. Once there, he still didn’t dare look at her. Not until he’d closed his door safely behind him.
When their eyes met, she simply smiled. “I like yer room.”
He let out a slow and exasperated breath. This woman was going to be the death of him.
CHAPTER 19
