“Like I made with Lady Plymton.”
“Are you certain thatwasa mistake?”
His eyes flew open. Lady Mercy was directly in front of him, only six inches away. She had leaned forward while his eyes were closed, and now she studied him, her head tipped to one side as if trying to understand him better.
“Of course it was a mistake.”
“There is nothing wrong with falling for a woman you want to marry. I know Lady Plymton ended up married to someone elseafter your father separated you, but you can’t spend your whole life worried that you will get hurt again. Nor can you base all of your decisions on whether or not London is watching your every move.”
How had their roles switched so completely? Lady Mercy was calm and collected, and he was the one nervous and fidgeting. All it had taken for Lady Mercy to feel in control was to let him know she didn’t want to marry him. Now that she had, she was ready to discuss his problems and fears, as if they were two lifelong friends. What kind of irony was this? “Londoniswatching my every move.” He leaned in closer. Her freckles were even more hypnotizing, now that he knew he would never get the chance to run his fingers over them or let his lips roam the skin on which they lay. “I won’t be seen as a philanderer. I cannot be. If I have been overly proper with you, it is not because I don’t—” He stopped. He couldn’t say out loud the things he thought about her. How could she not see the wrestle he had every time she walked into a room? How could she need proof? Couldn’t she see what was simmering beneath the surface? When that spark he had been so carefully guarding was released from its prison, the two of them would make the city burn.
Lady Mercy pursed her lips together and considered him like she would an unsolvable puzzle. She placed both hands on the chess table and pushed herself up. Nicholas rose as well, his faculties not so far gone that he would stay seated in a lady’s presence. On the fireplace mantel sat a vase full of white roses. He had sent them to her only a few days ago. Lady Mercy reached up and broke off the top of one of the flowers. She returned to him and tucked the rose into the breast pocket of his jacket. Her touch was soft and illuminating, like fireflies had landed on his chest. She dropped her right hand slowly, her fingertips grazing his side, then leaned in close and put her mouth to his ear. “You may think me young and naive, but Ineed proof. I won’t agree to marry you without it. You asked me earlier if I loved you, and I’m telling you, I think I could. I think I might already, but I cannot understand how you can claim to almost love me and not want to kiss me and hold me like I want you to.”
Nicholas didn’t dare breathe. Her scent would awaken something in him that he wasn’t certain he would ever be able to tamp down again. Once again, the ticking of the clock on the mantel hushed, and then the ticking returned, growing louder in his ears every second.
He needed to leave.
He needed to thank her for her honesty and revisit the idea of a betrothal after the ball or in another few months, after they’d had more time together. But Lady Mercy hadn’t asked for more time. She wanted something else from him. Something he wasn’t certain he could give. Not without losing himself.
She reached for the flower again, repositioning it in some infinitesimal way that had to have been nothing more than an excuse to touch him. Her eyes met his, only a breath away from him. “No one,” she whispered, her voice slow and deliberately intoxicating, “is watching us now.”
Blast this glorious woman in front of him. Nicholas’s hand stopped hers from leaving him, covering hers on top of the flower she’d placed there.
His touch brought a smile to her dangerous mouth. “You are a duke, Nicholas. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you. You could ruin a hundred women, and still, men would line up to have their daughters marry you. What are you so afraid of?”
Nicholas. His name was like honey on her lips. He couldn’t be distracted by it. She was playing a perilous game of chess, and every part of him screamed to let her win. He clenched his jaw. He would not allow himself to lose. “I havenodesire to ruin a hundred women.”
“That’s not what I asked. I asked what you are afraid of.”
What was he afraid of? He released her hand and took a step back. Breathing was painful when she was so near. He placed his hands on his temples and rubbed in circles. He hadn’t spoken to anyone about this except General Woodsworth. He clenched his teeth together and dropped his hands, locking eyes with her. “I don’t want to be a disappointment. Not again.”
Lady Mercy had started to inch forward, closing the gap he had just made between them, but at his words, she stopped. Her head leaned back. “Who in the world was ever disappointed by you?”
He smiled, but it was a grim sort of smile. He could feel the desperation of it on his face. “My father.”
Chapter 24
Mercy blinked. That was notat all what she had been expecting. His father had passed away years ago. “Your father?”
The Duke of Harrington’s face darkened. “Yes, my father.”
He didn’t say anything else, but those three words were hardly an explanation. She folded her arms in front of her chest and waited.
He stumbled away from her and returned to the chess table, pulled out his chair, and sat down. He had never,neversat in her presence unless she had been seated first, and the action made her step back. But he didn’t even seem to notice. It was as if the mention of his father had prompted a whole layer of stiffness to fall away from him, and he was left sullen and... young. She tipped her head to one side. His hair had fallen onto his forehead, which rested on one hand. He looked like a schoolboy who had just been reprimanded by a teacher.
Mercy walked to his side and sat as well. For a moment, they were both silent. She waited for him to explain himself further, but he seemed content to simply slump forward and say nothing. With a sigh, she took hold of her queen. She slid the piece slowly forward until it sat directly beside his king on the opposite end of the board.
“Check.”
He looked up, his eyes shrouded in mist, then back at the board. “That was an incredibly foolish move.”
“As I told you, I’m not good at chess.”
He shook his head slightly but didn’t smile. Then, instead of taking her queen, he moved his king diagonally and away, just out of check. She laughed softly, and he met her gaze. “Neither am I.”
“I would think, in the army, they would have taught you enough about strategy to make a better move than that. My queen was ripe for the taking.”
“I didn’t join in order to learn strategy.”
