Still, knowing he wanted something from me in exchange for his protection from Mr. Green calmed some of my worries. If he needed me somehow, that made this agreement of ours better, didn’t it? “And you think I could show her how?”
“You showed me.”
I laughed. “I’m not certain I could have done that. I didn’t even know what life was at seventeen.”
He inched closer. A hint of lemon from the bakewell pudding we’d eaten earlier invaded my senses, and for some reason, it made my heart rate increase. I wasn’t scared of David, even alone in a room, but he was so different from the boy he had been—now so strong and self-assured—that it was disconcerting. Disconcerting enough to confuse my senses. His eyes traveled my face. “I’ve never met anyone more alive than you. Do not underestimate how much your brilliant light affected me back then. I want that back in my life, not just for me but for Julia as well.”
I swallowed. No one had ever said anything like that to me. Not in my one Season in London and definitely not in Silverfork. I closed my eyes, willing my heart not to be confused. David didn’t even know who I was anymore. I shook my head and forced my eyes open. “You mean the young lady Iwas. Mr. Tate, I’ve changed over the past eight years. Quite drastically. Perhaps more than you have, and unlike you, I can’t say that my changes have improved me.”
A smile curled his lips, and he took a half step closer, standing as close as he could without touching my skirts. “You think I’ve improved?”
My face grew warm. Hemustknow he had. One side of his mouth lifted higher than the other, and his absolute delight at my discomfort made his eyes brighten in a way that would make anyone want to join his amusement. He was most certainly improved. “Do I need to answer that?”
“You don’t need to, but seeing as how I was so cruelly rejected in my youth, it would be kind of you to assuage my hurt pride.”
I gave into his smile and grinned up at him. “You’ve improved and are very different from when you were fourteen.” I lifted a finger. “You’re taller.” Lifted another finger. “More confident.” Lifted a third finger. “Better dressed, and”—I pushed my three fingers into his chest softly—“slightly better at proposing.”
His lashes lowered as he inspected my three fingers on his chest. When he lifted his eyes back to mine, something in them had changed. “I haven’t proposed to you yet.”
“I suppose that’s true, but you were quite gallant nonetheless.”
His smile deepened. “I am relieved to hear that. All of it. You, on the other hand, haven’t changed at all. I should have known that when I finally saw you again, it would be in that tree, looking more beautiful and as wild as you ever were at seventeen.”
I pulled my hand away from him. We were too close, this room was too dark, and David was too much a man to be saying those kinds of words to me. More beautiful? That was a bold-faced lie. He was trying to charm me. David Tate had turned into a charmer, and he was playing with a fire he didn’t know was dangerous. He didn’t know how lonely I’d become or what words like that would do to a woman who had been looked over by everyone but a controlling man twice her age. I clenched one hand at my side. Perhaps I could help Julia, and some time in my company would probably do David good.A younger version of myself held some fascination over him, and the sooner he realized that young lady no longer existed, the better. “I will befriend your sister. It’s the least I can do. But as far as teaching her how to live? I’ll need to relearn that particular skill before I can be a teacher of it.”
A broad smile broke out on David’s face. “Deal.”
Wait. What had I just agreed to? “I mean, I’ll help your sister. I don’t think I need to be your fiancée for that to happen.”
“But it would be much easier for you if you were and much harder for you if everyone thinks you spurned me.”
I laughed. “No one is going to believe you actuallywantedto marry me. If we leave this room as friends only, everyone will think I came here unprovoked by you to force you into renewing an attachment that was made when you were far too young.”
His eyes searched mine. “You don’t think anyone would believe I could be in love with you?”
I snorted. It was unladylike but better than letting his words take root in baseless ways. This was all a farce, no matter how intense his gaze when he spoke. “We barely know each other. We haven’t even seen each other since you were a child, for heaven’s sake. This”—I waved a hand between us—“isn’t what an engagement looks like.”
“Then please tell me what an engagement looks like.”
I sighed. “There should have been flowers or messages sent to me at some pointbeforethe engagement. We should have had morning walks together, duets on the pianoforte, dancing at balls, a few stolen kisses in a garden. A real relationship takes time to build. No one will think we are ...” Heavens. Are what? In love? You didn’t have to be in love to get engaged. But David had certainly implied ours was a love match. Yet I couldn’t say something like that out loud. “No one will believe we’ve been harboring feelings for each other, not like this.”
David didn’t move. He breathed but so slowly that I barely caught the movement. “I think,” he said, “you underestimate how little it would take to convince everyone of my strong feelings. Already, the length of this conversation, behind closed doors, will have them thinking I’ve missed you very much.” His eyes flashed to my mouth, and his meaning became clear. I grimaced, but he only nodded his head toward the door, untroubled by what he was insinuating.
As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. “Mr. Tate.” Mr. Preston’s voice came out strong from beyond the door. “I believe that is as much time as I can allow. Mrs. Atwood is waiting to speak with you.”
“We’ll be out in a moment,” David called out, then turned his soft voice on me. “What should we do?”
I hesitated. Could we do this?
He lifted his hand until it was just inches from the side of my face and brought his thumb slowly toward my cheek, as if he wanted to caress my face but was fearful of touching me. “Let me be the one to do something for your sake this time. Give me a chance to return a small portion of what you gave me. I promise it won’t be unfair to me.”
For some reason, tears pricked my eyes. He made it sound so easy. All I needed to do was say yes to him, and he would help me for as long as it took for Mama and me to find a new place to live. Who would have thought David would grow up to be a person I could lean on, someone who would have the ability to take care of me when I needed it most? His chest was solid in front of me, his hand still waiting less than an inch from my cheek, and I wanted nothing more than to fall into him and let all my burdens slide off me. Not onto him—there was still too much of that young boy who I wanted to protect in him—but onto the floor, away from both of us.
The sound of the doorknob turning caught both of our ears, and David’s hand finally moved. He didn’t stroke my cheek with histhumb as I thought he’d wanted to; instead, he lifted my chin so I would look at him. “Anna?”
I needed to rest. I needed time to breathe, even if it was for only a few weeks. My name on David’s lips held such care. I wanted to trust him. I nodded slowly, not daring to meet his eyes, focusing instead on his sharp jawline.
“Is that a yes?” he asked.
