My heart quickened. What was this dangerous game David was playing? Did enjoying our engagement while it lasted mean actually enjoying everything that came with an engagement? Would he kiss me while knowing our relationship could be ending in a matter of weeks?
Would I want him to?
I took a deep breath and pressed myself against the door we’d just walked through. “You already kissed me. You crossed that one off the list first. Don’t you remember?”
His eyes grew even darker, and he leaned forward, his thumb tracing a path across my knuckles. “I did not kiss you. Trust me, I would remember if I had.”
I ignored the line of heat he left in his wake on my fingers and concentrated only on keeping my breathing steady. “The point of that list was to convince everyone around us that you wanted to marry me, and a pretend kiss works just as well as a real one for that.”
“I’m not certain I’ve ever heard a sentiment I disagree with more. But even if I didn’t, it doesn’t matter since I distinctly remember you saying stolen kisses. As in plural.”
My heart was already acting up, and now my head was as well. “You are confusing me. How can a stolen kiss help our cause? If a kiss is stolen, no one will see you steal it; therefore, there is no point in it.”
“I wasn’t the one who made the list. I’m only trying to complete it.” He laughed, a soft rumble from deep inside his chest, and my hand instinctively reached for his lapel, my fingers clenching around it, uncertain whether they should pull him in closer or push him away. “Didn’t we agree to enjoy our time together?”
I nodded slowly. “We did.”
“Are you telling me you don’t think you’d enjoy being kissed by your fiancé? Because I think I could make it enjoyable.”
My eyes lowered to his mouth, and I didn’t try to hide my gaze. I would enjoy it. I would enjoy it too much. That was the danger in it. We’d been engaged not even two weeks, and already, I was dreading going back to the life of just Mama and me. I liked David, and I liked that our engagement tied the two of us together. But if he kissed me now, or later, or, as he seemed to be implying, often, I would be in danger of falling in love with him. He had to understand that,hadn’t he? He had to know how bland my life had become before he’d stepped back into it.
How would I go back to living my life on solid ground after he’d made me feel the heat of the sun and the wind on my face that only came from climbing to the treetops?
My fingers played with the edge of whatever it was in his breast pocket. “I’m not certain what I would think about kissing my fiancé.”
He placed his lips near my ear. “There is a very easy way to find out.”
I closed my eyes, letting his words glide over my skin. It would be very easy indeed. I pushed myself away from the door and leaned into him but kept my head down, resting it on his shoulder. Mama could leave the pianoforte and come find us at any moment, but I didn’t care. We were supposed to be engaged, after all, and I needed a moment to think.
Did it matter? Did it matter if I kissed this man and let my heart believe there was a chance the two of us might fall in love with each other? What would it change? I had no plans to marry. I wasn’t going to leave Breckenridge and look for a husband. I was going to find a position and work for the rest of my life. Did it matter if I fell in love first?
David’s deep-blue jacket was soft against my cheek. I took a deep breath, inhaling the warm, masculine scent of him. His arms and voice and everything about him made me feel protected and cared for.
And as much as I’d thought my dilemma was a hard one, in his arms, it melted away. Of course it would matter if I fell in love with him. Because if this was my one chance at love, even if it was one-sided and fleeting, I wanted it.
I lifted my face from his chest and put my free arm on his shoulder. His eyes searched mine, and I kept mine focused clearly on his sohe would know my decision. He might have been teasing me, but I was going to take his teasing to heart.
I raised an eyebrow. “How many kisses exactly doesstolen kissesimply?”
David’s eyes widened, and his breathing quickened under my hand. He searched my face for a moment, not smiling and not playing off my question with a jest, as I thought he might. Instead, he dropped his gaze to my lips, then back up to my eyes. He swallowed. “At least one more.”
I slid my hand from his shoulder to his neck. “And at most?”
His foot slid forward as if he needed to step closer to me, but I was already there, in his arms. He dropped my hand and wrapped both of his arms around my waist. The wordinfinitesang through the air around us as real as the music Julia was playing on the pianoforte. But he didn’t say it, and neither did I.
“As many as you’ll give me, as long as you are my fiancée.”
“That feels very imprecise.” A wobble in my voice matched the slight tremor of his hands at my back. “How will you know when to cross it off your list?”
“I’ll cross it off when you tell me to and not a moment before.”
It wasn’t infinite. It wasn’t any more than he’d already given me. Our engagement was never supposed to move forward into a marriage. But what if it did? He leaned forward, and suddenly, my plan of being in love once in my life before resigning myself to spinsterhood felt a lot riskier than it had only a moment ago.
“David?”
His head was dipping toward mine. “Yes?”
“Would it be very terrible if I enjoy kissing you too much?”
