Mama took a deep breath and gathered the papers from David’s hands. “I don’t think this is something that concerns you.” Her voice wasn’t unkind, but it lacked the element of care she typically used with David. “Not anymore.”
His eyes went to mine.
The sharp fury I’d seen in them shifted into something dull and painful. He knew our facade was over. I’d told her without speaking to him about it first.
Mama set the papers on the table and put her hands on her hips. “You two need to have a discussion. Anna tells me you’ve found a place for us that you are very excited about. Thank you. It is very kind of you.”
A muscle in David’s jaw clinched. “I didn’t do it to be kind.”
“Nevertheless, we are grateful. How were you planning on speaking with Anna?”
“I was going to take her on a carriage ride.” David’s voice sounded hollow.
Mama nodded. “Then please do so. The sooner we have this matter settled, the better.”
I wouldn’t meet David’s eyes. I had no choice but to speak with him. I should have allowed him to ride with me last night because at least it would have been a carriage ride of short and finite duration. And I would have had a coat I didn’t despise wearing.
I gritted my teeth and went to pick up Mr. Green’s coat. What was one more humiliation on top of everything else?
But David saw my motion and beat me to it. He grabbed it from the floor and tossed it away from me. “You won’t be wearing that.”
Something inside me hardened. David had no right to interfere with my life anymore. “I haven’t another coat to wear.”
He started to unbutton his, but Mama put a hand on his elbow. “She’s had enough of coats from men. She can wear mine.”
David’s hand paused, then he said something so low I couldn’t make it out. With gritted teeth, he thanked Mama and turned toward the door. “I’ll wait for you in the carriage, Miss Atwood.”
A few moments later, David sat across from me as the carriage rolled away. Mama stood in the doorway of the cottage without anything to protect her from the weather, watching us until we turned the bend. Only then did I face David and find him watching me.
He didn’t look like a man who wanted to get rid of me. He looked at me as if I were a rare gem or, at the very least, a rock with a rare spiral of color splashed across its surface, sitting on the path in front of him. He looked like the last thing he wanted to do was kick me away.
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. He’d given me a glimpse of something I could never have, and now that I knew for certain I would never have it, I wanted to move on to the part of my life whereI could look back on our time together with wistfulness and omit the part where I had to feel all this pain.
“We need to talk.” David’s voice was low and achingly soft.
“I know.”
“I assume you told your mother about our agreement.”
I kept my eyes closed and gripped the side of the carriage. “Yes. Do you know when the cottage you found will be ready for us?”
“Lord Pippen said it was available now, but if you need more time, we could wait a week ... you would, of course, be welcome at Tate Hall.”
My eyes flew open. I couldn’t be around David another week. Even this carriage ride was excruciating. “No. Let’s not wait. That would only mean removing our things twice.”
David’s shoulders sagged but after only a moment, he nodded stiffly. “Then I suppose our time together is coming to an end.”
I nodded in return.
His hand went to the side of the carriage, his finger sliding back and forth on the velvet just below the window. After several passes along the fabric, he dared a glance at me. “Seeing you again—being near you—has been a pleasure. One I wasn’t certain I would ever have again.”
I sucked in a breath. “I don’t think you should say such things to me.”
He swallowed hard and pulled his hand away from the window, clenching it at his side. We rode in silence then, neither of us wanting to say the wrong thing.
“I told the driver to take us to Tate Hall and back again. I could tell him to turn around now, if you would prefer.”
I shook my head. It would be only a few more minutes before we turned around anyway.
