He meant children. I put a hand to my neckline, gripping the hem and willing my breathing to remain steady. So this was what David was offering me: a place to live, a path to pay Mr. Green, and the opportunity to be his wife in name only. The clock on the mantel ticked in a slow, steady rhythm, unaffected by the words David had just said, but everything else around me seemed to fade into a hazy fog.
I should crawl back into bed and pretend Mama and I hadn’t opened the door to him.
I should take his generosity and move to Lincolnshire.
I never should have told him I wanted to marry him.
“I cannot allow you to make that kind of sacrifice only so I can pay off my debt to Mr. Green,” I said quietly.
“That isn’t what this is about,” he said, his voice low, matching my own.
“Then I cannot allow myself to agree to such an arrangement. It would only be a shell of what I want from a marriage someday.”
David lifted his chin. “An annulment should be possible. You will be able to have that someday. Just not with me.”
Was he trying to be noble?
My trunk was half packed upstairs. Where did I want it to go? If I didn’t marry David, Mama and I would live alone again, working for years to pay off Mr. Green.
I could try to find a man willing to marry me in truth and pay Mr. Green back in that manner.
But if given the choice between a true marriage with someone I only slightly knew and a marriage in name only to David, my choice was easy—I’d rather be a sister to David than a wife to anyone else.
“All right,” I said softly.
He lifted his head away from mine, and his eyes widened. “All rightwhat?”
“All right, I will marry you. Today, if you’d like.”
He pursed his lips together as though he were trying to hide a smile, but it escaped anyway. “You’re certain?”
I nodded. “I am.”
He suddenly let out a whoop like a young boy who’d just been given a long-anticipated gift, grabbed my waist, and lifted me in the air. The sound of my shocked laughter burst into the room. Last night, I would have thought it was a sound I wouldn’t hear in ages. He spun us around and lowered me down.
Once my feet were back on solid ground he put a hand on the back of his neck and stepped away from me. “Sorry,” he said with a sheepish grin.
My head was spinning, and only a small part of that was due to his outburst. I smiled back at him. I didn’t understand David at all, and somehow, in a few hours, I was going to be his wife. “Don’t be,” I said with a laugh. “I’m not certain what is making you so happy, but I suppose I should go look in my wardrobe for a wedding dress. I can’t get married in my nightgown.”
David’s eyes slid down to what I was wearing. His neck reddened slightly. I glanced down to find his energetic spin had left my wrap open, exposing my collar bones and most of my shoulders. I hastily pulled it closed.
He turned his head to the door and cleared his throat. “I won’t make a habit of being too familiar with you. Not very often, at least. I promise.” Another horrible promise. He looked at me once again, carefully keeping his eyes on my face, even though I’d made myself decent. “I know what kind of marriage we’ve agreed to and will be careful to respect the boundaries of propriety. I don’t ever want to be responsible for making you cry again.”
“People make other people cry at times.” I shrugged because there was no possible way he’d missed my red-rimmed eyes when he’d first arrived. “I will bear it if it happens.”
“I’m not certain I will.”
I gave him a smile. What kind of man married a woman in this manner and was happy about it? He was much too kindhearted, and I was taking advantage of him. The room dimmed as if it were the end of the day and the sun was setting instead of just coming up. David was too happy with far too little. Somehow, I needed to find a way to give him more.
“What time shall I tell the vicar to arrive?” he asked.
“Here?”
“I would rather we marry here than at Tate Hall, and if we marry at the church someone from town might see us. That is one of the advantages of the special license. We can marry anywhere.”
“Oh.” My voice cracked. I’d always thought I would marry in a church. I nodded, not trusting my voice to say another word without displaying too much emotion.
He pulled out a pocket watch. “Will four hours be enough time to prepare?”
