He opened the door, and I gasped softly. I’d never seen a more beautiful and unique bedroom. We were directly above the octagonal drawing room and my bedroom was the same shape. Four large windows with rose-colored drapes took up half of the eight sides, making it feel as though if I stood in that part of the room, I’d be practically in the back garden. The bed was large and tall with drapery that matched the curtains on the windows. It took up one of the four remaining walls, and a wardrobe occupied another. The last two walls held doors, the one we were standing in and another one I suspected led to David’s room.
“Oh, David, it’s lovely.”
“It is, by far, my favorite room in the house.” His thumb traced my knuckles almost absentmindedly as he inspected the room from the doorway. “And now that it is yours, I think I may love it even more.”
We stood unmoving. I wanted to rush in, jump on the bed to test its softness, then throw the drapes completely open and bask in my view, but that would mean parting from David, and I wasn’t ready for that. I cleared my throat and took one step over the threshold. “Would you like to come inside?” I asked.
David’s mouth quirked. “I’d better not.”
I nodded because he was right. “Where is your room?”
He nodded toward the last door we’d passed on the left. “It isn’t as beautiful as this one, but it is the closest room besides my father’s.” He pointed to the adjoining door. “I had the servants move my things into my room last night as well. Your mother now has my old room, next to Julia’s at the top of the stairs.”
“I thought your father never came here. Why do you need to leave his room free for him?” The question hung in the air. How certain was David that his father wouldn’t come? If he did, where would I sleep? For it wouldn’t do to have only a door between us. Hadn’t David considered that when ... But then I remembered. If his father knew I was here, I would be on my way somewhere else. There was no chance of us ever being in the same house together, let alone sharing an adjoining room.
“I’ll never sleep in that room. Not even after he dies. Garrett may choose to when he visits since I commandeered his room. I’ll let him deal with that when he comes.”
“And how often does Garrett visit?”
“Very rarely. He and Father have entrusted Julia and me to run the estate, but the price of keeping Father away from here and out of the day-to-day management of the tenants and servants was Garrett’s promise to remain in London by Father’s side.” A heaviness settled on David. “He has been able to visit without Father knowing a few times secretly, but it is much less often than we’d like.”
I nodded but didn’t press for any more answers, even though it became very clear exactly when the tenants’ lives had improved on the Tate lands.
“David?”
“Yes?” His eyes met mine, and they were, in fact, very tired, as if it were all he could do to keep standing.
“Thank you for marrying me.”
David inhaled slowly, in a way that seemed to draw him nearer to me. If I didn’t know any better, I would think the hooded gaze he gave me was the exact variety a husband should have for his wife on his wedding night. The kind of look that would have him stepping forward, wrapping me in his arms, and covering my mouth with his own.
Instead, he closed his tired eyes and nodded. “Anything for you, Anna.”
Then he turned quickly on his heel and marched to his own room, where he would most certainly sleep deeply.
I, on the other hand, would not be able to sleep, knowing the sentence he’d only just spoken to me was a lie, even if he didn’t know it. Because the truth was, David wouldn’t doanythingfor me. He would only doalmostanything for me. Otherwise, we would have married in a church a few months from now, and when I’d invited him in on our wedding night, he would have joined me, even if he hadn’t slept for days.
W
Chapter 16
“If anything, I will have more scars because I’ve learned to be happy. Father can’t understand why I’ve changed, and he doesn’t like the things he cannot understand.”
—David Tate, 1842, Age 15
The next morning, David was waiting outside my bedchamber when I left it to go down to breakfast.
That was one advantage of having servants. They could act as spies between husband and wife. The maid who’d helped me ready myself must have let him know when to expect me.
He held out an arm. “I thought it would be best if we went down to breakfast together. I was so tired yesterday, I’m afraid I may have neglected my new wife.”
My eyes wanted to glance back at my bedroom door, but I forced them to remain on David. He’d been very clear about what our marriage was to be, and I’d chosen it, regardless. I’d been frustrated when I’d gone to bed, but a good night’s rest had set me to rights.
I happily took his arm. “You didn’t. I had everything I needed in my room, and Julia’s maid helped me this morning. I’m settling in splendidly.”
“Good.” His smile was broad, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way I did—that any day we were able to spendtogether was bound to be a good day. “Shall we cross one thing off our marriage list?”
I gave him a mock scowl. “I should be the one completing the items on our marriage list. Just as you were the one to send flowers and plan walks. If you mark off anything by your own merit, I’m going to have to add another item to it.”
