The tenderness of that name on her mother’s tongue struck a chord of longing I thought I had buried long ago. Had it been six years since I’d heard a mother call her child by name? Certainly not. I’d spent most of that time in barracks, but not all of it. I must have heard a mother speak her child’s name at some point. I’d probably even heard Mrs. Blackwell call her daughter by name during this house party. This setting must be throwing me off balance.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I said quickly. The sooner I could leave them to their familial peace, the better. “I was exploring the grounds.”
“Please interrupt.” Charlie sounded desperate. He pulled his head away from his sister’s hand. “Mother was reading us poems about mothers again,” he said with a groan. It was the precise tone I’d imagined earlier. “We have heard them far too many times.”
Miss Blackwell put her hand on Charlie’s shoulder and pulled him back close to her.
I tore my eyes away from them and glanced at the general. “The grounds here are quite impressive. Did I see archery butts farther down the path?”
General Blackwell smiled. “You did. Haven’t you seen the grounds before?”
I shook my head. “Not the back gardens.”
“Well, I’m grateful the house alone was enough for you to recommend it to me. It has been a blessing. Now that the weather is cooperating, we will have to get you out for target practice. You were quite the shot when we served together in Walcheren. We will have to see if your aim is good enough to best my Evelyn’s.”
“Or mine,” Charlie piped up. “I’m almost as good as Evelyn now.”
General Blackwell’s friendly inclusion righted the hollow aching in my chest. This family didn’t mind the intrusion. It was obvious they had moments like this often enough to take them for granted. I allowed myself another glance at Miss Blackwell and her brother, but she’d put her hands back in Charlie’s hair and the feeling at the nape of my neck returned. What was wrong with me?
Miss Blackwell’s hands suddenly stilled partway through her brother’s hair. I pulled my eyes away from them to find her watching me with her gray eyes. Blast it all, I must have been staring. She pulled her hand out of Charlie’s hair and put it behind her back with a flash of panic in her eyes.
Why?
Those imaginings of mine—the feeling of those same fingers in my hair—they were simply imaginings. They had to be.
“Don’t let us keep you,” Miss Blackwell said, with remarkable calmness. That flash of panic was gone, tucked away as neatly as her hand. “Blackwell is a beautiful estate.”
“Evelyn, Charlie,” her mother said. “If you are so determined to avoid my underappreciated readings, why don’t you show Captain Calder the grounds?”
Miss Blackwell’s head whipped toward Mrs. Blackwell, eyes wide and mouth pinched together, her feelings quite obvious on her face. She did everything but whisper “no.”
Charlie, on the other hand, jumped up. “Have you seen the waterfall?”
I smiled at him, grateful to have someone other than his sister to interact with. She was a distraction I dealt with much more efficiently when I wasn’t looking at her. He was older than Arthur had been the last time I’d seen him, but not by much. Perhaps twelve? There were many years between Miss Blackwell and her brother, but they looked so similar, with the same gray eyes and brown hair. Charlie’s had a little bit more of a golden hue, but that would probably darken over time. It was obvious that, unlike me and my siblings, these two shared the same mother. “I didn’t even know there was a waterfall.”
“It’s at the bottom on the other side of the terrace. Come.” He grabbed my right hand with both of his and pulled me away from the summer house. His hands were colder than mine, and his touch light. Still a child’s hands, but only just.
Arthur’s hands had to be as big and as rough as mine now. I’d practically raised him and May after their mother passed away, and one day I held his hand for the last time without even knowing it.
If Arthur and May came back now, would I even recognize them? They would be so grown.
Charlie dropped my hand and strode forward. I followed him and didn’t look back to see if Miss Blackwell was going to join us. Hopefully not. I had a bad habit of either bristling under her scrutiny or reliving the memory of her curled up against the wall in her nightclothes with a gun in her hand.
It was impossible to be comfortable when she was near.
We connected to the main path leading down. From the corner of my eye, a flash of blue made me turn my head.
Miss Blackwellwasfollowing us, but from the scowl on her face, she wasn’t happy about it. This woman had aggravated me nonstop for the past few days, all with the smile of a hostess on her face. She’d haunted me even longer, but my thoughts of that mysterious woman in white were incongruous with the woman who marched unenthusiastically toward me now. My mouth curved up in a smile.
At least I wasn’t the only one uncomfortable.
14
CAPTAIN JOHN CALDER
I slowed slightly,letting Charlie run ahead. Miss Blackwell soon caught up to me with her marching pace.
“I would like it known,” she huffed, “that I did not want to show you the estate.”
