“She always gravitates to joy. It is one of her best qualities”
It was? I blinked. I’d been a miserable creature during our summer together, and she’d gravitated to me. Was Miss Blackwell wrong or was I? I glanced ahead of us again. Brookhouse was bending at the waist, bowing to her for some reason.
“You think Brookhouse is more joyful than I am.” It was a statement. But in my heart I wanted Miss Blackwell to treat it as a question.
She didn’t. She glanced ahead to where Brookhouse’s bow had turned into a tip of his hat. When she turned those gray eyes back on me, she had one solitary eyebrow raised. “You are many good things, Captain Calder—strong, forceful, kind. But people don’t turn to you when they want to laugh. No one would dare.”
I pulled back my shoulders and slowed my steps to increase the distance between us. Miss Blackwell didn’t notice my reaction. She ran ahead a few paces and turned around, the wind catching her skirts and blowing them and the tendrils of her hair in my direction. She was so stunning at that moment. So unscathed by our history.
“What do people turn to me for, then?” I asked, my tone harsher than it should have been.
Miss Blackwell scoffed. Her intense gaze caught and held mine. With a shake of her head that seemed to imply I should know her answer, she simply stated, “Everything else.”
My world narrowed to the woman in front of me and the space between us. How was she still surprising me at every turn? I should have taken the carriage. I should leave now and never spend another moment in Miss Blackwell’s company. I should definitely stop myself from ever again wondering what her lips might have felt like on mine.
There were so many things I should and shouldn’t do where Miss Blackwell was concerned, and for once in my life I doubted my strength of character. I would continue to fight against the strange power she held over me. But I knew what a losing battle felt like, and this was it. I couldn’t surrender, not when I was obligated to Harriet. And I couldn’t retreat, not with this magnetic pull between us.
That left concealment as my only option. I might not be able to keep my unruly reactions and thoughts about Miss Blackwell at bay, but I could at least try to make her life and everyone else’s easier by never revealing them.
No one needed to know what kind of scoundrel I’d become.
The vicar’s sermon was timely indeed.
20
EVELYN BLACKWELL
If there wasone small mercy in the disaster that had been the past few weeks, it was that by the time Captain Calder discovered the extent of the impropriety of our night together, I no longer felt the need to keep him away from Hattie.
She was the most wonderful of women and he was, as it turns out, most likely a decent man.
Which meant after spending far too much time with him the day before, I could avoid him completely by skipping breakfast.
Despite my declaration otherwise, I had not managed to forget his kiss. Which meant every time I caught sight of his hands I remembered the feel of them on my cheeks. Each time he spoke, I could hear him thanking me and then telling me not to cry. Each time I made the mistake of dropping my gaze to his mouth, I could feel the softness of his lips and was reminded of the stark contrast that tender touch had been to the rough, commanding man he was when among his friends.
After a day of forced nonchalance and friendship, I deserved one morning away from all the pretense, didn’t I? Especially since last night I’d hugged Hattie and quickly whispered in her ear that she could now freely pursue any of the men she liked best.
With a sigh I fell back onto my bed. What was a little hunger? It was much better than being in the breakfast room discovering exactly how Hattie and Captain Calder would behave with one another now that they were free from my meddling.
If Hattie was here in my bedroom and if she was not a possible wife for Captain Calder, I would tell her everything. It was a completely ridiculous situation the captain and I had gotten ourselves into, and Hattie would delight in hearing all about it. If I could simply laugh about everything, perhaps his presence would no longer have power over me.
There was a soft knock at the door that I recognized immediately. I sat up. Half of my wish was about to come true and my eyes blurred at the prospect. “Come in.”
Hattie opened the door a crack, caught sight of me, and then opened it fully. “You don’t look ill.”
“I’m not.”
She smiled in relief and shut the door behind her. “Thank goodness. I’m not well-suited to entertaining those men without you.” She held out something wrapped in cloth and the rich smell of Cook’s freshly baked bread wafted toward me. Bless Hattie. She was an angel from heaven. “I brought you some bread. It isn’t like you to miss breakfast.”
I gratefully relieved her of the bundle and opened it. It was a large roll, soft and still warm from the oven. I took a greedy bite immediately. “Thank you,” I said once I’d swallowed enough of the roll to speak without being a complete heathen.
Hattie looked at me and shook her head. “It seems you really are well. That’s good.” Her mouth lifted to a grin. “Captain Calder and I made plans for the day.”
“Oh really?” I managed to say with my voice cracking only the slightest amount. One breakfast without me and already Hattie and the captain were paired together, making plans.
Hattie sat down on the bed next to me. “We’re going to ride to Applewood.”
The two of them? I’d told Captain Calder I would no longer oppose him, but did he have to work so quickly? He had all the advantage at this house party—he’d known Hattie before and he had an estate within riding distance. It looked as though he was wasting no time using every weapon in his arsenal.
