I leaned forward until our foreheads touched. “I’m going to miss you, Hattie. All these years we’ve had together, you’ve been like a sister to me, only perhaps better, for a sister would have tired of me at some point, while you have been fortunate enough to only see me in small doses.”
“I will always be your cousin. No marriage could change that.”
“I know, but it will be different, for I won’t have you all to myself anymore.”
She laughed and pulled her head back. “If the two of us can’t manage to get rid of a husband for a few days so we may have time to ourselves, then I shall be very disappointed, indeed.”
“True.” I took a deep breath. It was time I started helping Hattie instead of hurting her. “You need to tell him all of this, especially about waiting to propose. Otherwise, I’m not certain itwon’t happen tomorrow. How can I help? I could arrange a time for the two of you to meet.”
Hattie chewed on her lip while the slightest bit of a frown formed on her lips. “You think I should meet with him?”
I nodded. “It isn’t a conversation that can be had over dinner.”
“No, I understand that.” Her eyebrows were deeply furrowed. “But don’t you think you should be the one to do that?”
“Me?”
She nodded.
After all the wonderful things she had just said about the man, why wouldn’t she want to have some time alone with him? “You aren’t scared of him, are you? I’ve never seen him do anything ungentlemanly.” At least not when he was in his right mind.
Hattie leaned away from me, a crease forming in her brow. “Of course not, but if I spoke to him about it, it would be extremely awkward, and also completely inappropriate. Couldn’t you mention all of this the next time you are alone with him?”
I sighed. Hattie needed to avoid any hint of scandal. With Mrs. Wickerton watching every move, she was right. She shouldn't be caught alone with Captain Calder. But why would she want me to be? “I don’t have any plans to be alone with Captain Calder.”
She tipped her head to one side and lifted a brow. “You were practically alone with him while shooting today, you were definitely alone with him at Applewood, and you managed to have a private conversation with him in the drawing room.” She patted the top of my hand. “I’m certain you can figure something out.”
I sucked in a breath. That was a long list, and she didn’t even know about all the time we spent alone together the night of the storm. Would the captain tell her about that someday?
“You don’t think the two of us being alone together is a bad idea?”
Hattie chuckled. “Should I? Do you need someone to act as chaperone?”
Her absolute faith in me made my throat thicken. My eyes pricked with tears as I struggled to swallow. How could she believe in me so completely after all the ways I’d let her down?
I could do this for her now. I had to.
It wasn’t as though I would need more than a few moments of privacy in order to tell Captain Calder to wait at least a week to propose to Hattie. I only prayed that after the two of them were engaged they would be able to figure out their own love life without my help.
“I’ll speak to him.”
Hattie made a tiny squeal-like noise and clapped her hands three times rapidly. Then she pulled me into the tightest of hugs. The tightness in my throat finally loosened. She was so ecstatic I couldn’t help but return her hug with fervor, even as a small part of me knew this excitement was not only a beginning for her, but also a partial ending for us.
She was right again. Of course we would be able to find time together. But Hattie hadn’t seen the way the Captain had reached for her in his sleep, or the way he could show that love so convincingly with his hands, fingers and lips.
Hattie was about to become half of a different whole, and I would be happy for her. I was happy for her. If anyone deserved such good fortune in love it was my Hattie.
25
CAPTAIN JOHN CALDER
It had only beena few weeks since I’d worn my uniform, and it still fit my arms and chest in the way it had when I’d been an active cavalry officer. But I felt different in it—the dark blue wool and gold braids were uncomfortable in ways they hadn't been since the first year I wore them. As rewarding as it had been in friendships and finances, I was ready for that part of my life to be over.
But I wasn’t capable of ignoring a command from General Blackwell, even if that command was issued as a suggestion. So I was back in my blue coat, grateful Old Boney was safely tucked away in exile. May he die and rot on Saint Helena and never give me cause to ride Scout against him again.
I tugged at the hem of my coat and then stepped into the drawing room. As had become my habit the past few days, I found Miss Blackwell’s form first. She was deep in conversation with Mrs. Pryor near the fireplace. Her long, graceful form was clothed in a pale ivory gown with gold embroidery that winked with firelight each time she lifted an arm or turned her shoulders.
How was I supposed to see anyone else when Miss Blackwell insisted on sparkling at me from across the room?
