“It was my pleasure, Miss Elizabeth. Your presence made the walk more agreeable.” Before she could respond, he offered her a quick bow and strode away.Waiting until he was sure no one at the Parsonage could observe his reactions, Darcy finally gave himself permission to stop, lean against a tree, and replay the reflections of the last half hour.
It was another beginning. Darcy would like to think this was another step in his winning Elizabeth’s regard when, in reality, most of his beginnings were faltering attempts.Accustomed to being the prey, not the pursuer, he knew what to do to sustain an interest once it began, but Darcy never met a woman such as Elizabeth Bennet and never initiated the relationship. Yet, he felt more hopeful; Bingley and especially his sisters thwarted his attempts at Netherfield; here at Rosings, his cousin frustrated his designs. Darcy knew he needed privacy to secure Elizabeth’s affection; the solitary paths of Rosings permitted him the means and mode to win the lady’s heart.
These were his thoughts as he sat in the high-backed chair in Rosings’s library. The library was one of the places at Rosings where Darcy knew he would not encounter interruptions; besides his reputation as a lover of books, Darcy knew the other occupants of the house had little use for the precious volumes. Like everything else at Rosings Park, the library provided a showplace where Lady Catherine could proclaim expertise in the written form, as she did recently about music. Edward’s military career left him little time for the improvement of his mind through pleasurable reading.
The light tread of his cousin entering the sanctuary disturbed his solitary moment; Anne de Bourgh was the last person he expected to find in the library.“Anne!” he blurted out, as he rose to his feet to greet her.
“Fitzwilliam,” she returned his astonishment.Then she curtsied as if to leave.
Seeing her retreat from him so quickly, Darcy did the uncharacteristic thing, he gave “himself the trouble” of engaging his cousin. “Please join me, Anne.”
“Fitzwilliam, I did not mean to disturb your solitude.”
“You have no cause for censure, Anne,” he coaxed her toward a close chair and returned to his own seat.“It seems we see so little of each other.”
Anne blushed briefly, but a sense of resolve permitted her the luxury of speaking openly to Darcy. “If I may speak candidly, Cousin,” she began; he nodded his assent, “I avoid your company because my mother would perceive her plans for our marital felicity as progressing.”
“I see,” said Darcy slowly, unaccustomed to such honesty from his cousin.“I am ashamed I never realized you felt as such. Edward tried to counsel me as to your true feelings, but I fear I trusted him not.”
“Actually, it was Edward who convinced me to let you know my feelings. I sought you in here today, but when I saw you, I nearly left before I began. I wanted to say so much for so long I blurted out without thoughts of civility. Edward assured me you donot wish us to marry either.”The last line was more of a question than it was a statement.
Anne opened a discussion which he did not anticipate, but which he welcomed. Darcy was taken aback by the speed with which she broached the subject. Clearly, Anne felt the pressure of getting everything out between them before Lady Catherine discovered them. “Cousin Anne, I am astounded to hear such protests, but it seems Edward is a reliable courier.Without wishing you harm or reproof, I do not feel your mother’s wishes would serve either of us well. Our dispositions are too much in contrast.”
“That is a relief, Fitzwilliam,” she nearly whispered.“I fear your dark, brooding nature. Did you know I have been afraid of you since we were children?” He looked a bit shocked at her words. “My mother will be looking for me; I will leave you now. Thank you for allowing me to speak in earnest and in haste. It will give the situation ease when we both choose to look elsewhere for our mates,” and as quickly as she entered,Anne took leave of the room.
Darcy shook himself in disbelief; Edward told him recently Anne was not what she appeared to be. Obviously, his cousin did have “charms” of which he was unaware; he always thought himself to be an astute observer of others; then how could he not have seen Anne as she was? It had really been a day of new beginnings—first with Elizabeth and now with Anne.
On the third day Darcy so met Elizabeth, he encountered some resistance on her part, but he prepared himself for her reluctance. “Miss Bennet,” he began upon meeting her “accidentally” again,“I have purposely come to meet you here.” His words registered a mild shock upon Elizabeth’s face. “After leaving you yesterday at the Parsonage, I recalled a particularly pleasant prospect I believe you would enjoy. I came here today in hopes of having the pleasure of showing it to you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Darcy,” she stammered, “that will not be necessary.”
“I understand if you are too tired. I should have thought betterthan to intrude myself on your time again,” he said apologetically. “The walk was one of my late mother’s favorites. I forgot about it until Lady Catherine reminded me of it,” he lied.“I simply thought you might find it a pleasant choice for a solitary walk.”
Elizabeth hesitated briefly and then assured him if it was not too far, she would take pleasure in seeing it. She took his proffered arm.Walking along the narrow, winding path, she often moved in closer to Darcy for support, as the footing was a bit bumpy with tree roots. He would gladly pick her up to carry her, but he resisted any rash impropriety. In less than ten minutes’ walk, they emerged from the thick-trunk tree-lined path into a clearing painted by the sun. Darcy pushed aside some branches and allowed Elizabeth to step into a field of vibrantly colored wildflowers—primroses, blue-bells, wild hyacinths, and anemones. He enjoyed the gasp she emitted upon seeing what the clearing had to offer.
“Mr. Darcy,” she exclaimed,“this is magnificent!”
He could not stop the smile erupting from inside him. Elizabeth stepped away from him and nearly ran toward the field. He watched as she stopped suddenly, spread her arms full wide, and turned around and around, looking skyward with joy. He did not expect such unencumbered pleasure, but he did not find anything critical about Elizabeth’s actions. She walked through the field at several angles, stopping to enjoy the various flowers; then she strode purposely back toward him. “Mr. Darcy, you honored me by sharing this clearing with me. I cannot understand why you chose to do so, but it will be a treasured memory of my trip to Rosings.”
“My mother loved nature, Miss Elizabeth. I believe she would have been pleased to know you approved of her favorite refuge,” he offered.“Are you ready to return to the Parsonage?”
“Yes, Sir, I believe I am.” He extended his arm, and she took a firmer grip than previously, anticipating the pathway’s unevenness. Her rich, mellow eyes sparkling as she turned around and around in the field filled Darcy with happiness. He loved Elizabeth Bennet; the realization of admitting his feelings flashed through his being; no more would he say he loved her eyes or loved how shespoke her mind; no longer would he think of his feelings being only a strong attraction; Darcy loved Elizabeth. It was as simple as that: he loved Elizabeth. Finally openly acknowledging his devotion for her to himself, Darcy wanted to scream it to the world. Instead, he forced himself to swallow hard and say, “I am pleased my intrusion was not unpleasant, Miss Elizabeth.”
“I believe I told you earlier not all intrusions are unwelcome, Sir.”
“Our acquaintance has been long enough for us to know something of the other’s preferences.” She looked at him with questions hidden behind her eyes; Darcy knew Elizabeth would now expect him to make known his intentions—he shared his mother’s favorite refuge with her—he told her of his wishing to share precious parts of his life with her; he realized fully Elizabeth could no longer doubt his purpose. The companionable silence returned between them, broken only by small civilities about the weatherandtheir respective familiesandbooks recently read. He left her at the Parsonage’s door, but this time as he strode away he allowed himself the pleasure of turning for a final look at her; Elizabeth stood transfixed and looking toward where he brought up; he touched the brim of his hat to bid her farewell and strolled away. After he turned, he did not see her grimace, nor did he observe her perplexed stare.
Tomorrow—he thought as he walked to Rosings; tomorrow he would offer his hand to Elizabeth. He would leave Rosings in two days; therefore, tomorrow would be the day.The prayer the Devil answers,he reminded himself.Let the Devil beware,Darcy thought. He would declare his love for Elizabeth; she would accept; and then Darcy would deal with those whose censure would surely come. Tonight he would prepare a proper proposal; he would tell Elizabeth how his regard for her grew despite their differences. He imagined her happiness at his declaration.That evening Darcy slept well with the knowledge on the morrow Elizabeth would be his.
When he found his way to Elizabeth’s favorite pathway, reality dashed his hopes. Edward walked with her, and they conversed intimately. He could hear her soft laughter and see his cousin’s animated gestures. Darcy felt as if someone ripped his heart from his chest; his plans for the proposal not only ruined, but he witnessed her enjoyment of his cousin’s company; the green-eyed monster known as jealousy ricocheted through him. Darcy withdrew without their seeing him and returned to Rosings unnoticed.
He watched from the study’s window as his cousin returned to Rosings. He tried to note any changes in Edward, but none of any consequence were found. Darcy stepped back from the window and moved to where anyone going by the door would think the room to be empty; he could not check his emotions to converse with Edward or any other member of the de Bourgh household at this time. He needed to find another opportunity to engage Elizabeth, assuming Edward had not offered intentions of his own to her.
The longer Darcy sat and examined the situation, the more reasonable he became. Edward as a second son could not afford to marry Elizabeth; he said as much to Darcy before they came to Rosings. Edward may find Elizabeth attractive, but he talked to everyone, just like Bingley, both amiable gentlemen. As his reason returned, Darcy knew he could see Elizabeth tomorrow. What would four and twenty hours change?
Much to his surprise, he discovered from one of his aunt’s maids Lady Catherine invited the Collins’s household to Rosings for tea. At least, Darcy would have the pleasure of Elizabeth’s company this evening, and although Edward liked to monopolize her time, tonight Darcy would spoil his cousin’s plan. Tonight, Elizabeth’s attentions belonged to him.
The Collinses’ arrival came at last, but to Darcy’s dismay, Mr. Collins offered Lady Catherine his sincerest apologies for his cousin had taken ill.How could Elizabeth be ill? She seemed in health this morning when he observed her in the park.
