“Thank you, Mr. Spencer.” Darcy allowed himself to breathe again. He kissed Georgiana’s forehead as she caressed his hand. “Without you . . . .” he whispered, but he did not finish his thought. Trancelike, he turned back into his room and closed the door. Georgiana knew, without being told, to order more hot water and bandages to be brought to her brother’s room.
Darcy set about the necessary charge of cleaning Elizabeth’s wounds. He placed a screen around the bed to protect her from the view of others. So fragile looking, he did not want to move her anymore than was necessary so he went to her room and found her sewing scissors and began to cut the clothes from Elizabeth’s body. He talked to her the whole time, describing what he was doing, telling her of his love, of her beauty, and of his sorrow for hurting her. He prayed out loud, thanking God for sparing her life.Then he used the warm water and gentle strokes of the cloth to bathe the dirt caked on her arms and legs. Finally, he dressed the wounds, which were deep enough for infection and needed attention. He doubled the counterpane over her body and then collapsed in the chair next to the bed. He took her limp hand in his and brushed the hair from her face.As he sat back in the chair, tears flowed freely down his cheeks, and the sobs finally smothered his chest. “Stay with me, Lizzy,” he whispered.
Exhausted, Darcy drifted in and out of sleep, but the dreams were filled with images of Elizabeth’s frail body lying on the rocky ledge and the anger on her face when she stormed from the room.When morning came again, Georgiana appeared to check on Elizabeth’s progress as well as that of her brother.
Rousing him by touching his shoulder, she said, “Fitzwilliam, you should get something to eat. I will sit with Elizabeth.”
“I cannot leave her, Georgiana. I hurt her—something I swore to God I would never do. I am the most wretched of men. It should be I lying there or worse.”
“She would not want that, Brother. Elizabeth loves you.”
“With her last words to me in this house she told me she never wanted to see me again. I cannot live without her.”
“Elizabeth did not mean what she said.You hurt her so she had to hurt you to be even; you were like children playing some game which neither of you could win. It was your name she called when the doctor was here; it is you she loves even now.You cannot help Elizabeth if you are unwell yourself. Please, Fitzwilliam, go downstairs and eat something.Then you can come back to tend to her.”
Darcy hesitatingly agreed, swearing to be gone no longer than ten minutes. Before he left the room, he adjusted the counterpane, knowing Elizabeth would be embarrassed if someone saw her undressed. Georgiana took his seat and Elizabeth’s hand; as he left, Darcy heard his sister talking softly to her, professing her affection for Elizabeth and begging her to come back to them.
He gulped down some hot rolls and butter, washing them down with some coffee, knowing anything more would hurt his stomach. Darcy just left the morning room to return to his chambers when he heard Georgiana calling him. “Fitzwilliam, come quick! Please hurry!”
Taking the stairs two and three at a time, he rounded the corner to find Georgiana on her way to find him.“She is awake. Elizabeth calls your name, Brother.”
In a fraction of a second, Darcy was kneeling beside the bed holding her hand and brushing the hair from her face. “Lizzy, I am here. I am here, Lizzy.”
Her eyes fluttered—opened and closed—but Elizabeth managed to say, “Fitzwilliam.” He kissed her hand.“You found me.”
“I love you, Lizzy. You are my life.Where you are, I will always—alwayscome for you.”
The effort of her thoughts made it difficult for her to put the words together she wanted to say. “I love you, Mr. Darcy.” She attempted to smile. “I cannot sleep without you. I need to sleep, Fitzwilliam.”
“Shush, Lizzy, I am here.” He gingerly crawled in the bed beside her, fearing his touch might hurt her more. Elizabeth pulled his arm across her body and closed her eyes. He too closed his and dreamed as he always did—he dreamed of her. Georgiana, watching from the hall, pulled the door shut, knowingreal loveonce more lived at Pemberley.
CHAPTER 23
“Till this moment I never knew myself.”
It was another four and twenty hours before Darcy emerged from the room again. Elizabeth was alert and wanted something to eat.“I lay awake beside her for hours, Georgiana, just watching the breath slide in and out of Elizabeth’s body,” he told his sister when she came to his room. “I made a pact with God—give me Elizabeth, and he could have everything else.The money—the house—it all means nothing without her.”
“God wants you and Elizabeth together, Brother. He has plans for you.” His sister’s sage-like words brought him comfort.
Later that day, he gently carried Elizabeth to his tub and bathed her more thoroughly than he had while still wrapped in the counterpane of his bed. She winced as the hot water seeped into the many cuts and scratches on her arms and legs, and he cautiously touched her sensitive skin. Elizabeth so filled his life, Darcy never allowed himself to see her as a woman in need of protection. In fact, he viewed her often as his protector from the grief he experienced in his life. He came so close to losing her. Luck had once been his—he found her when he needed Elizabeth in his life.What if she turned from him now? What if his pride pushed her away?He always observed her strength—her resolve. Foolishly, he never saw Elizabeth as someone he needed to not only protect from the world, but also from himself. She gave him her heart completely, and he nearly destroyed her. Miserable, he dutifully washed the curves of her body with the sponge, thinking she was vulnerable—vulnerableonly to his censure. His pride would hurt her no more. Finishing, he helped her dress and carried her back to her bed.“If you are not careful, Mr. Darcy,” she teased,“you will put Hannah out of a job.” Her arms embraced his neck once again, and she rested her head on his shoulder.
“I would gladly spend the rest of my life tending to you, Lizzy.” Darcy kissed her cheek as she again buried her face into his chest. When he laid her back on the pillow, she pulled him to her and kissed him tenderly. “Please, Fitzwilliam.”
“Elizabeth, I do not want to hurt you.”
“You have never hurt me in this bed. I need to know you still love me. I cannot live without you, Fitzwilliam.”
“Elizabeth, do what you want. I never meant to question you. I built up a picture of this perfect house—this perfect marriage—a perfect wife.” He sobbed as she cradled his head to her abdomen.“I planned everything; except you had ideas I did not plan; I controlled everything for so long, I have difficulty allowing anyone else their due. You did not deserve my wrath. I do not want to destroy your love for me, Elizabeth. Can you love me again as you did before?”
“A few foolish words cannot destroy us, my Love. Do you know what I thought as I lay on that ledge? I thought:Fitzwilliam loves me. He will come for me.That is all I kept thinking—despite what I said when I stormed out of this house, I knew you still loved me, and I knew I loved you. Please come to me in our bed, Fitzwilliam.”
He began to kiss her stomach and then moved up her body. By the time Darcy got to her lips, Elizabeth’s body rose to meet his.“I love you, Lizzy.”
Darcy was out of the house when Mr. Spencer called to check on Mrs. Darcy’s progress. Propped up on the pillows of her bed, she happily greeted the physician. “Mrs. Darcy, your husband would make an excellent nurse. His care for your well-being was exactly what you needed.”
Elizabeth remembered Darcy’s passionate kiss before he left and knew what she needed from him, but she had another more pressing question for the doctor. “Mr. Spencer, did the fall hurt my baby?”
“So, you did realize you were with child? These great men are concerned with their heirs; and when Mr. Darcy did not ask about the child when I was here the other day, I knew he did not know, but you could not tell me if you had knowledge of it. I did not tell him for he was too distraught over your health. He would allow no one else to tend to you, Mrs. Darcy.”
