“Do not tease me, Lizzy.You know my temperament.”
“I know, Kitty; I know very well. Do not be too forward; he is a clergyman.” Elizabeth warned her warmly.
“I thought all clergymen were like Mr. Collins or old Mr. Aiken. Clayton Ashford is nothing like what I expected.” Kitty giggled and moved back to the chair she vacated moments before.
Darcy came up behind Elizabeth and put his arms around her waist. She leaned back into him and felt his warmth. He bent down to whisper in her ear. “Elizabeth, Lady Catherine may be right; your arts and allurements are spreading.”
She turned to glance over her shoulder at his profile. “I do not understand, Fitzwilliam.”
“Look at the love in this room—families together—husbands and wives—young regard—friends—all caring for one another.Pemberley lacked this kind of happiness until there was you.”
She closed her eyes and leaned back even further to feel his strength enclosing her in his love. Elizabeth reached up and caressed his cheek, and the joy was evident on her face. He kissed the side of her head before he released her to return to his guests. Elizabeth’s eyes followed him as he moved away, and he turned back and looked at her—his eyes infinite depths of intelligence and understanding. The intensity of his stare always brought a sudden flush of heat rising to her cheeks. He knew sadness and loss of those he loved, and for a long time he hid his hurt behind a façade of arrogance. Now Darcy allowed himself to love again, risking the pain which only lost love could bring, yet, he did not fear losing Elizabeth’s love; their love, he realized, could not be displaced.
Sixteen people sat to New Year’s Eve dinner of beef, capons, coleworts, potatoes, cream soups, fresh fruit, and a bread pudding—a meal served over three courses. The animated conversation reflected the care each person felt for the other. Darcy watched Elizabeth at the other end of the long dining table; she picked at the food except for the potatoes of which she took two helpings. She noticed his concern and offered him a slight shrug of her shoulders, a large smile, and pursed lips as if she expected a kiss. His eyebrow rose as if to question her until the unstated twinkle in her eyes easily ignited his ardor; he closed his eyes to imagine Elizabeth’s closeness. No one at the table could deny their love; anyone who bothered to look at either of them, obviously, recognized the love they held for each other.
After dinner, the Gardiner children played hoodman blind and hot cockles.The adults enjoyed their antics and their joy; Darcy gave a wooden boat to each of the two boys and a rag doll to his favorite Cassandra. The children rewarded him with squeals of happiness and a hug from Cassy. Elizabeth noted how his features softened when the children were near, and she hoped he would take moredelight in his own child.Tonight she would tell him of their child; she planned the moment in their bedchamber and what she would say; she anticipated his happiness and how tender his love would be this evening.
The children went to bed, and the men retreated to Darcy’s study to smoke their favorite cigars and share glasses of fine port and brandy over conversation. The women entertained themselves in the dining room. Jane and Kitty led the conversation, reliving the escapades of the Bennets and of Bingley’s sisters at Netherfield. Elizabeth’s only regret lay in Anne hearing of her family’s lack of decorum; the stories proved Lady Catherine’s concerns, and Elizabeth wished the subject would change to something pleasanter. Tomorrow she would tell all these women her news; she would write her parents. Sharing the news would relieve her of her stress and her exhaustion.
Soon the men returned to the drawing room; Darcy and Edward sought her attention. She stood to the side talking briefly with Anne about their plans for the anniversary party for Edward’s parents. Coming into the room as in mass, the odor of the cigar smoke hung on the men’s clothing, and the smell permeated every corner. Elizabeth felt her stomach lurch, but she tried to hide her increasing need to regurgitate. Darcy and Edward came to stand beside Elizabeth and Anne. As he always did, Darcy pulled her to him, and she fought to control her gag reflex.“Elizabeth, Anne and Edward plan a late June wedding; I have told them we will attend the ceremony.”
Turning her face away, Elizabeth struggled against the surge in her stomach. “Fitzwilliam, you may attend, but I will not.” She felt as if she did not find relief soon she would surely embarrass herself.
Not expecting her resistance, Elizabeth’s words shocked Darcy and offended Edward and Anne. Darcy tried to allay the umbrage betrayed on his cousins’ faces. “Come, Elizabeth, we all understandyour resentment at Lady Catherine’s attack, but we must put those feelings aside for Edward’s and Anne’s sakes.” He pulled her closer to relay his need for her to say the right thing.
Elizabeth’s hand went to her mouth to force herself to swallow hard; the color fled from her face.“I am sorry, Fitzwilliam; I cannot attend.” She fled from the room.
“Elizabeth!” Darcy called and started after her, but Mrs. Gardiner stopped him. “I will take care of Lizzy, Mr. Darcy. Stay with your guests.”
Mrs. Gardiner found her niece on the exterior entryway; Elizabeth leaned over the stair railing relieving herself of what little she took for dinner. Mrs. Gardiner came up behind Elizabeth and gently rubbed her niece’s back. She pushed back Elizabeth’s hair from her face. “How far are you with child, Elizabeth?” Her aunt’s voice caught her off guard, but it also offered Elizabeth comfort.
She turned toward Mrs. Gardiner.“How did you know?”
Her aunt laughed; she handed Elizabeth a handkerchief, which she dipped in water as she chased her niece down the hallway. Elizabeth wiped her face with the cool cloth and handed it back; a combination of the cloth’s dampness and the fresh night air settled her stomach’s uneasiness.“My trigger was the smell of pork cooking with Cassandra; for both boys it was any floral scent.What was it for you tonight?”
“The cigar smoke! Other smells have played havoc with my senses, but the smoke could not be ignored. How long does this last?”
“Usually no more than a month or two at most.” Her aunt gently wiped Elizabeth’s face again.“I assume Mr. Darcy does not know.”
“I planned to tell him tonight. I told you about my accident, Aunt Gardiner.” The woman continued to wipe Elizabeth’s face with the cloth while acknowledging what her niece was saying to her. “Once I fell, I did not want to tell Fitzwilliam until I was sure the baby did not suffer from my foolishness. He was so consumed with my recovery; I did not want to cause him more distress.”
“Did you speak to the physician?” Her aunt’s concern relayedher tone.“Are there problems for the child?”
“Mr. Spencer examined me on three different occasions. He assures me I have no reason for concern because of the accident.”
“Then answer my question, Elizabeth: when will be your lying in?”
“It appears this child is a result of our first nights together as husband and wife. I am nearly two months along. How could I tell Fitzwilliam in front of the whole room I cannot attend Edward’s and Anne’s wedding because I am to have a child? I want to tell my husband first before I tell everyone else.”
“Tell me what, Elizabeth?” She jumped at hearing his voice; Elizabeth turned to see him standing by the open door. Darcy crossed the landing to take her in his arms once again.“What is the reason for your distress?”
Although her stomach was now empty, the urge did not go away. The smell of the cigar smoke remained on his jacket; she jerked her head to the left, grabbed her mouth again, and pulled away from him. Looking back with tears streaming down her face, she paused only briefly before she darted through the doorway to the staircase leading to her chambers.
“Mrs. Gardiner, why is Elizabeth acting this way? Did she say anything to you? This is uncharacteristic of her nature.What have I done for her to keep running away from me? How have I offended her?” Darcy’s confusion could not be concealed; he turned to follow his wife.
Mrs. Gardiner caught his arm. “Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth must tell you her reasons; they are not mine to give, but if I may be allowed an opinion, you must ask the right question to get the answer you want.”
“I do not understand, Mrs. Gardiner.”
