Look, sometimes fanfic can also be catharsis.
Milo
I knew something was wrong with Ray the moment I opened Aunt Ethel’s door.
His eyes were red. His face was flushed. When I offered him a hug, he clung to me like he was drowning and I was one of those safety rings thrown off the side of the boat to rescue him. I hated leaving breakfast with Aunt Ethel and Rowan, but Ray needed me. I couldn’t let him down.
After I said my goodbyes, I took Ray right back to my condo. Once inside, I settled him on the couch with one of Aunt Ethel’s afghans tucked over him and went to the kitchen to make him a hot chocolate. Was it hot chocolate weather? No, but I knew my best friend well enough to know that hot chocolate was his comfort drink of choice. This wasn’t my first rodeo.
Once the cocoa was made, I settled onto the couch with him. I tucked my feet under his blanket and passed him his cup. “What happened?”
“Remember that guy I’ve been seeing, Luke?” I nodded. He’d been seeing Luke for a few weeks, and he’d been happier than I’d seen him in a long time. I thought, for once, maybe Ray had found someone good. Luke called him when he said he would. He showed up when he was supposed to. He wasn’t late for their dates, and he sent good morning texts. These might all seem like the bare minimum, but Ray’s relationship history made the bareminimum seem like first class treatment. “Turns out, he wasn’t Prince Charming.”
“Believe it or not, I gathered that,” I teased, nudging him with my toes. “What happened?”
He brought his cocoa to his lips and took a small sip. “He was another Andrew.”
I winced at the name of our mutual ex-boyfriend. It was how we’d met. I’d been dating this guy, Andrew. I’d met him shortly after I got drafted, back before Rusty Sinclair came out and I thought I’d be facing a lifetime of career-enforced closeting. It turned out that it worked for him, dating someone who couldn’t tell the world about the relationship. We’d been together for almost a year when I saw him with someone at a restaurant. It didn’t take long to figure out that he was romantically involved with the guy I’d seen him with.
It turned out to be Ray, and they’d been together for almost four years.
I reached out to him, and I told him everything. Some guys probably would have hated me for being the person who broke the news to him. Some guys might have blamed me for the fact that we’d been dating the same guy. Not Ray. He listened, and we talked. We talked for hours that day, and the next day, I helped him pack all his stuff while Andrew was at his corporate law job. We sat together and sent identically worded texts to Andrew, ending our relationships, and then got completely wasted.
Our friendship was formed that day, and I’d never had a better friend than Ray.
Unfortunately, Andrew was only the first in a long line of terrible men for both of us. We had a type, and that type was asshole, obviously. I’d stopped looking after a few toxic boyfriends broke my heart. Ray hadn’t. He was a hopeless romantic, and he was certain that every new guy was going to bethe one that finally swept him off his feet and loved him the way he deserved.
For a while, Aunt Ethel thought that we should give it a go. Unfortunately, neither one of us was attracted to the other. I think it was just that we were both too nice.
Knowing that Ray had fallen for another Andrew hurt my heart for him. “How bad was it?” I asked him.
“I went out for a drink after work, and I saw him making out with some guy in one of the corner booths.” He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. “I don’t know if they were together or if it was a one night thing. I didn’t really stick around to find out. I just left.”
“And you broke up with him?” I swear to all that was holy that if he hadn’t broken up with him, I was stealing his hot cocoa and not giving it back until he did.
Ray gave me the first hint of a smile I’d seen from him since he’d shown up at Aunt Ethel’s door. “I did. And I thought that would be it, but he showed up at my door this morning. He was talking about how he’d never felt anything like this before and he just didn’t understand.” I rolled my eyes as I tried to imagine the amateur dramatics. “Then he said he loved me, and for a moment, I wavered. I told him to get out, and he started yelling.” His voice cracked. I knew Ray hated when people yelled at him. I reached out and clasped my hand around his ankle, the closest part of his body to me.
“I’d offer to beat him up, but we both know I’m not good at that.” I played tackle football, but when it came to any other kind of physicality, I was useless. “I could ask Rowan to beat him up. Or maybe one of the other big guys on the team. Or maybe they could just go over and look all intimidating and scare him. It might really scare him if he’s a Scorpions fan.”
Normally, I wouldn’t condone something like that, but he’d yelled at Ray. Judging by the redness of Ray’s eyes and his splotchy cheeks, he’d made him cry. That wasn’t okay.
Ray looked like he was contemplating it for a few moments before he shook his head. “No. He’s not worth it.”
“He made you cry!”
“A lot of things make me cry, Milo,” he pointed out. It was true. I’d seen him cry over an emotional commercial. His head cocked to the side. “Wait, Rowan? Is that the guy that was at your aunt’s?”
“Yes. He’s my new teammate, and he lives here.”
“He’s cute,” Ray mused.
I ducked my head to hide the fact that my face was burning. Rowan was cute, and I still caught myself thinking about his arms around my shoulders in Portland. Which I’d told my aunt about a few days ago. And then he was at breakfast this morning.
Oh. Fuck.
And I’d left Aunt Ethel alone with Rowan. She’d told me that she wanted to meet him, get a read on him, and I hadn’t even thought about that when he showed up at her door that morning. And then I’d left her alone with him. I could only imagine what she was saying to him.
Rowan was never going to speak to me again. All the effort I’d taken into forming this tentative friendship with him, and it was all going to be lost because of my aunt. Great.
