Hutton doesn’t react at all to me. Like usual. I leave the lounge feeling like a complete loser. If I can’t find the culprits, it’s easy to look at Matt for blame. He should have kept her safe. The fact he brings up my drinking or pill popping in front of the future serial killer, is just too much.
I take the opportunity to call Anna, Eden’s foster mom. When the news first caught onto the story, she called me. Not reaching Eden by phone brought years of worry back to the forefront for her. Confirming her worst fears, she wanted to be kept up to date. “She’s been found.”
Anna’s crying can be heard over the phone, “Oh, I was convinced… I thought…” She blows her nose. “Thank you, thank you for letting me know. I’m on my way.”
“Hey…” I shift slightly in the chair to ease the throbbing in my groin. Fucking elbowed due to my own clownish fucking behavior. “The Center shut the news stories down. They issued a bullshit story and shut it down.” Anna is a crusader by nature and she won’t take this kindly.
“I figured. Dr. Hart has been leaving me messages kissing my ass. It’s all about image.” Anna makes an agitated sound. “Eden’s life has been a series of tragedies. What’s one more, right?” She tells me where she’ll be staying and when to expect her. One more person in Eden’s corner as she heals is more than welcome.
Matt takes a glance into the hallway at me and shakes his head. “Tantrum throwing over?” The damn bastard seems amused by the fact I threw a fit. I have about five ready insults to lob back, but I’m tired. Completely sober and emotionally raw. I stop myself from picking another fight.
“Yeah, all done.” I give him a fake smile.
“Perfect, we don’t have time to deal with your fragile ego.”
“Oooh… anyone ever tell you that you could use some sensitivity training?” Okay, one last little dig. That gets a half smile from him as he leans in the doorway, looking entirely too good.
“What would that consist of? Hugs for everyone? Look… I’m not going to let it go.” He gives me a meaningful look. “You can’t just make the underlying issues go away, you have to deal with it and get help.” It’s almost like he fucking cares or something.
Rolling my eyes so hard I almost see my brain, I purposely keep my eyes off of him. Damn him and his fucking attractiveness. “One thing at a time. Let’s make sure that Eden gets through this first.” He barely nods, but acknowledges what I said, before turning to talk to Hutton.
I lean back in my chair and close my eyes for a minute. If the first step is admitting I have a problem, I’m there. I’m not sure where to go from that. I’ve admitted to myself many times that my behavior has been risky. Sophomore year at Belmont, Eden tried to do what Matt’s doing now. Look at how well that went. A few months passed and then a fight with dad was all it took for me to pop a couple of pills and wash them down with a few shots.
Six years earlier
“Dance with me, Ed.” I grab her hand and laugh. I’m soaring so fucking high right now. Coke paired with some champagne. A New Years to remember. She shakes her head at me and backs away.
“Put some clothes on.” Fraternity tradition of the three-part party (wearing only three articles of clothing) was as wild as usual this year. I opted for three socks… on my feet and my favorite appendage. Eden’s not amused though. “B, get off the table and cover up!” I can’t hear her well over the pulsing club music. It’s a sea of bodies everywhere in the frat house.
“Fuck… did I ever tell you that you’re a deadly combination? Good sense of humor, dirty mind and beautiful heart?” I can’t tell if she hears me. It’s loud as fuck. She reaches up to try and grab at my hand, wearing a shimmery blue dress and a pair of heeled boots.
“B, what did you take tonight?” She keeps getting bumped into, but she steadies herself and then holds onto the table I’m jumping around on. Mildly fascinated with the way my dick bounces around. I tease taking the sock on my dick off and her eyes bug out. “I’m begging you at this point. Get the hell off the table!” I half fall off the table, laughing hysterically at her. She tosses her jacket over my shoulders. It’s way too small, but she tries. Then grabbing at my arm hauls me to the front door. More than a few hands in passing take a tug at my dick. A couple of times I stop our progress towards the door wanting it to continue. I’m horny as fuck.
Clear of the noise of the house, I’m trying to find my footing on the sloping lawn, Eden turns to look at me red in the face and with tears forming. “You’re going to overdose, or get in an accident. Something is going to happen if you keep partying this hard.” God, I’m transfixed by her. So beautiful and so very out of reach. “Are you even listening?” She narrows her eyes at me. “B, what was it tonight?”
I slip on some toilet paper strung from a tree, and my sock slips. Briefly, I think about pulling it off in front of her for a reaction. “Just a line or two, then… maybe an Adderall. Some shots of… something.” I wink at her and laugh. “Then the bottle of bubbly.”
“You need to stop. I’ll help you, but you need rehab. B?” I’m staring up at the night sky and my heart is racing so fast it feels like it’ll fucking take flight. She pats my cheek. “Are you paying attention?”
10. EDEN
The hospital bed dips down next to me, and I smile to myself with my head turned towards the wall. He’s here. The one person holding me here in this life. The boy that’s taken over my heart. “Hi,” he whispers behind me as he lays down and folds me against his chest. “Are you awake?”
“That’s a silly question. If I wasn’t, I am now.” I giggle and place my hand over his gloved hand. He always avoids my questions about the gloves. “Did you bring Achilles along?” His fluffy grey Tabby kitten typically snuggles into the loose top of my hospital gown.
“Sorry… and no, I couldn’t find him.” His voice was laced with concern. “He’ll come back; he always does.” The first couple of nights here when he visited, he kept his distance from me. After his initial surprise of me grabbing one of his gloved hands, he’s become more comfortable with me. I want him to kiss me. Which is stupid since I’m in the hospital and in between homes. I have bigger worries right now.
When I turn to look over my shoulder, he pulls back in alarm. “How are you feeling today?” His voice is husky and deepened. “Do you think you can walk a longer distance than a few times around the room?”
“Why?” I don’t need to go anywhere. Once I leave, I may never see him again.
“Start walking around the room for longer periods to build up your stamina.” His eyes scan over my face like he’s committing it to his memory. “You’ll need to leave soon.”
Present Day
The crows keep circling and I hear her laughter in the distance. My mother. I’m clawing at the earth on my hands and knees. Embry was buried alive around here. I know he was. My hands are bloody, and my fingernails are ragged and broken. I have to get him out. “They see… they see everything.” The crows start diving at me. Their unearthly screeches make the terror I’m feeling paralyze me. Help, please someone help me. All I can do is cry and scream.
I roll into a ball. To keep the crows from pecking at my face. Hands come from somewhere and gently rub my back. “Eden? Eden… can you hear me?” A soft female voice. Sweet and soothing. Who is that? “Honey? Shhhh… shhhhh. It’s not real, you’re having a nightmare. It’s not real.” I want to open my eyes and wake up. My eyes are open, aren’t they? Why is this happening? My breathing comes out in a hiccup like pant. I’m losing my mind.
