If I want to continue trying…
I’m on edge, constantly wondering when my body will throw something new at me.
Chapter Two
Bizzy (Elizabeth)
The crush of people shimmying to the music fades in and out, my mind absorbed by the words, the damning words said by the specialist yesterday: “...rare form of leukemia…”
I barely escape being splashed by warm beer when Siler pulls me into his arms. “Bizzy Ahrens, are you dancing?”
Not exactly but swaying in his arms to the music would give him that idea.
“I leave you alone for two minutes, Biz, and here you are getting all wild.” He mocks me, giving me a half-lidded look. “After putting up one helluva fight to get out of coming here.”
The loud, pulsating music makes me lean in to hear him better, not even realizing I’m shuffling my feet to the beat. When I do, I stop, afraid that anything I do may cause an episode.
He wanted to celebrate graduation.
I wanted to go back to bed.
But it’s Siler Kershaw. The boy who towers over the room of our classmates. The one whose loud guffaw of a laugh pulls smiles from me no matter what.
The only person I never forget.
I’d do anything for him.
“Ooo… not sure what he’s doing, but he’s doing it,” Siler says lazily with a chuckle as one of his basketball teammates launches himself over a table with a clothes hamper over his head.
“Yeah, he got some serious air.” I try to keep my voice light, but a dark cloud is hovering over me.
Have I always felt this way?There are so many things about my life that have faded away.
Taking Siler’s hand, I pull him out of the house and onto the less chaotic front porch. He sits on the rail, crossing his ankles, ignoring the Frisbee that almost strikes him in the head. “How did your doctor’s appointment go the other day?”
It was an answer.
After months of searching, an oncologist said the lack of test answers could mean a rare form of leukemia. He said he’d bet his medical license on it.
Strong words.
When my nose started to bleed and I became catatonic, the doctor’s brief panic was only eclipsed by the excitement over my case. I tried not to be disgusted by his lack of compassion.
I’m not telling Siler.
“I’m going,” I say firmly. “To New York.”
There’s no backing out now. Be an adult. Handle this.
Alone.
Siler stands up, making me crane my neck to look up at his face. Without words, he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to him. “Good news, then?”
The urge to cry overwhelms me, making me bury my face in his shirt. I nod.
His plans to attend Duke University and play basketball for them on scholarship, I won’t get in the way of that. He’d opt to attend his second choice in New York to stay close to me.
He deserves all the happiness the world has waiting for him.
