I scramble away from the door, my eyes tearing up.I was an obligation to him—one of my worst fears realized. The only person in my life I remember, no matter what. The one I held onto when I got sick…
Wants to be rid of me.
The last place I want to be is this estate now. I turn and quickly grab my things from the bedroom we were sharing, intending to find Liz and Jen’s room. Camping out on the floor or a chair is better than being in Siler’s space.
It’s okay. I didn’t want to sleep tonight anyway.
“Biz?” Rett whispers loudly behind me in the hall. “Why are you up?”
Bad instincts? Atrocious luck?
He’s dressed in black, his shoes tracking mud. It doesn’t take much to deduce he was one of the people with a flashlight in the dark earlier.
“Better question… where were you?”
I sniff back the tears, reminding myself time is limited.
My world is bigger now… JJ, Rippley, Rett… my mystery guy, Liz, Jen.
I can keep my problems to myself. Live like a normal college student.
“Pretend you didn’t see me sneaking around? Pretty please?” He’s hard to say no to. “Looks like you’re on the run. Siler snore?”
“Like a buzzsaw.”
My white lies are piling up.
I follow him back to the room he’s sharing with JJ.
They convince me to stay with them, sleeping in the middle of the bed with pillows separating us. It’s a challenge to slow my racing heart, to quiet my thoughts. The impulse to hold JJ has me gripping my pillow like it’s the only thing keeping me in place.
“G’night, darling.” JJ reaches over the pillows to smooth my hair back.
Rett hops into bed after stripping down to his boxers. “Anyone else wide awake?” he asks.
There is no way I’m falling asleep.
Turning onto my back, I squeeze my eyes shut. I can’t let myself think about where I’m lying or who I’m lying between. There’s an impulse so strong to let my curiosity, my attractions, lead me down a path there’s no coming back from.
But…
“Are you awake?” Rett whispers beside me as he keeps readjusting to get comfortable. “Biz?”
“Mmhm.”
JJ slides closer to the pillow between us. “I can’t get back to sleep.”
Being around them, listening to them joke with one another, I’m able to push back the edge of pain from Siler’s words earlier. I didn’t hear everything he said. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t what it sounded like. Or maybe it was worse.
Stop. Stop thinking about it.
The atmosphere feels charged, the pillows are askew, we’ve shifted closer together, and one of my legs is resting casually over JJs.
“What are you thinking about, pretty girl?” JJ asks quietly, his hand running down my cheek. He’s so close, just a fraction of an inch away. A tilt of my head and our lips would meet. But Rett is right here, too close for comfort, my arm grazing his chest.
Although… that's a tricky question, isn’t it? I’m thinking about his hands on me, about his consuming kiss. I’m wondering how it would feel to kiss Rett. And I’m also thinking that I need to live in the present. Tomorrow I may not feel physically well.
I make the first move.
