“Isn’t it?”
“No,” I say flatly. “You’re asking me if I’ve orgasmed.”
“And did you?”
I close my eyes, breathing in and out to steady myself. “I…haven’t tried.”
But now I’m terrified I can’t. What if I can’t come without him? What am I going to do?
“You should try,” he murmurs.
I’m…legitimately speechless at that. He picks up his bulb of water and takes a sip, all while I just…stare at him.
“Did you just…did you just tell me to touch myself for science?”
He opens his mouth to respond, but we both see Solvi coming back in that moment. He puts his water down and pulls up his comm, intent onnot looking at me.“All done?” he asks her. “I’ll pay the bill.”
“Have you looked in there?” Solvi asks, sliding back into her seat. “It’s actually really cool.”
“Mmhm,” Kaelion says. “They have some very interesting specimens.”
He pays the bill and listens to Solvi talk about fish while I just…sit there, stunned. I can’t believe what he just said to me.
I can’t believe how much I liked it.
“Did you see the fish?” Solvi asks, looking over her dad’s shoulder.
I open and close my mouth a couple times, much like—ironically—a fish.
“Um…I have to go,” I say. “Thanks for lunch. It was nice to see you, Solvi.”
“But—” Solvi starts.
Kaelion says nothing. He doesn’t even look at me as I collect my things. It makes me wonder howhe’sfeeling about what he just said…if he’s as superior and objective as he wants me to believe.
“I’ll see you in the lab next week,” I mutter. “Bye.”
Then I’m heading out the door as fast as I can, my shoulders hunched, my heart in my throat.
I don’t know if I can keep working with him.
And that…it could ruin everything.
CHAPTER 12
LYN
My boss toldme to touch myself for science.
It’s not like I’m shy about it, not really. With my friends, I’m the girl who will take you to go buy your first sex toy, who encourages getting intimate with yourself, who says yes, dude, youshouldfigure out what gives you orgasms and tell your partner everything. I’m not squeamish. I’m not prudish. I believe that sex is good, that intimacy is great.
But…and this is a big,massivebut—I’ve never been scared I won’t come.
Because I know how to make myself come. I know how to tell other people how to make me come. And right now…right now, my body feels like a stranger.
Which is why I’m currently staring at my bedside table drawer like there’s an evil clown inside, not vibrators.
I took way too much time getting ready for bed tonight, trying to delay the inevitable. I moisturized every inch of my body. I shaved. I plucked my eyebrows. I gave my hair some extra love, raked through leave-in with my fingers, twisted it into coils, and tied on my silk scarf like that was the most important thing on my agenda. Which…let’s be clear, it absolutely was not.
