After standing in a daze in the middle of the kitchen for a while, I snapped out of my strange stupor and shuffled to the bathroom.
I won’t say anything. I didn’t know, and I don’t know.The decision came to me.
My husband came home late as usual.
“Such a stressful day. I’m dog-tired. I’m going to take a shower and then go to sleep,” he wearily threw off his jacket.
Everything was so ordinary, but now I saw it differently.
“Are you going to eat?” I tried to act calmly, although inside everything was screaming.Why are you lying?! I know everything!
“No, no, I won’t.”
“Why? A whole day has passed, you must be hungry.” I really hadn’t noticed before that he rarely ate in the evenings, asif he was already full.
“I said I don’t want to!”
I would have previously attributed his irritation to work fatigue. I went up to him and hugged him from behind, pressing my cheek against his back.
“Oh, come on, darling,” I said. He released my hands and pulled away from my embrace. “We spend so little time together. I miss you. Maybe we could make love tonight?” Hoping that he would soften up in bed, I looked at my husband invitingly, trying to catch his gaze.
“Elizabeth, I think your increased excitability is from idleness. You should find yourself a job! And besides, I need to make another business call. You go ahead and turn on the water in the bath,” Dominic said irritably, without looking at me, pushed me towards the door, and picked up the phone.
I felt bitter at these words. Before my friend’s call, these phrases would have upset me but wouldn’t have hurt me with their indifference. I would have attributed them to fatigue again. Clenching my teeth to keep from crying, I turned around and went to the bathroom.
And yet he has business calls almost every evening. Are they really business calls?Unable to bear the internal tension any longer, I decided to eavesdrop and went to the kitchen to get the second phone, but I only managed to catch the end of the conversation:
“I love you!” A woman’s voice purred.
“Me too! See you tomorrow,” my husband replied.
The warm intonations in his voice were so different from the usual tired, irritated tone he used when talking to me. I was still standing there with the phone in my hands when Dominic unexpectedly walked into the kitchen.
“Why aren’t you…” He stopped short, looked at the phone, then at me, then back at the phone.
“Were you eavesdropping?!” He clearly hadn’t expected that from me.
“Yes, I know everything.” There was no point in holding back anymore. “How could you do this? What are you lacking? What am I doing wrong? And did you think about the children?” Questions mixed with tears poured out of me in a torrent.
Initially taken aback, he quickly recovered.
“I was thinking about the children all the time! And there’s no need to throw a tantrum. What’s done is done. Yes, you’re a wonderful person, but we all change over time. We were too young when we got married!” Dominic said.
He didn’t even try to apologize! I didn’t know what to do now. “Well, then go to your slut! I don’t need you! I’ll manage without you!” Anger, resentment, and jealousy pushed me to shout this out.
And at the same time, a hope lived in my soul that he would come to his senses, start apologizing, and we would make up—I would, of course, forgive him.
“Well, that’s great! Let’s stop deceiving each other pretending to be a happy family!” He readily agreed.
Dominic frantically started getting dressed again. I froze. That’s not what I wanted! But the lingering anger and resentment kept me from saying,“Stay.”And hope, which, as we know, dies last.
It’s good that it’s summer, the children are at the dacha with their grandmother. He’s agitated now. He’ll calm down later, he’ll definitely come to his senses and come back. It is his home; his children are here.
Wiping away the tears still running down my cheeks, without saying anything else, I went to the bedroom and mindlessly collapsed onto the bed. The front door clicked shut, as if putting a final point on everything. I jumped up and rushed into the corridor, as if hoping to see Dominic and stop him. Butthere was only emptiness.
And I suddenly and sharply realized: my husband, Dominic, the only man in my life, had left me. He had gone to another woman.
Aimlessly walking into the empty kitchen, my eyes fell on a pack of cigarettes that Dominic had probably forgotten. I lit one, hoping to calm down somehow, but nothing worked. Cigarette after cigarette, my hands were shaking, my head was spinning, and my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest.
