The realization hit her squarely in the chest—she didn’t want to go.
Not just because of Sarah or the clinic itself, but because of them—everyone.The life she’d built without meaning to.Laughing over cards with Nimue and Eden on slow afternoons.Liam and Teague and their terrible jokes.
Noah.
Always Noah.
Her mother’s voice echoed in her mind.Don’t push away everyone you could possibly love because you’re afraid to fail them.
But she had failed Noah.In that cave, when he needed her most, she’d frozen.Locked up.Become useless.
Yes, you did.But the Lord didn’t fail him, and he lived.
The Lord hadn’t left her alone out there.He’d sent Liam and Teague—arriving exactly when they were needed.He’d kept Noah alive despite her paralysis, despite her panic.
Maybe that was grace too.Maybe grace wasn’t just forgiveness for sin but help in the moment of need.
But then she’d failed again by running, pushing him away, breaking his heart.
Meg sank into her desk chair.She needed to forgive herself.Her mother was right about that.
But how did you forgive yourself for things that felt unforgivable?
You start by letting Noah forgive you.By letting the Lord forgive you.By accepting that being human means failing sometimes.More of her mom’s words coming back.
She didn’t even know where Noah was right now.Probably at his cabin, recovering.Probably trying to forget she existed.
But she did know where the Lord was.
Everywhere.Here in this empty office.In the canyon.In her pain.And he’d been in the cave.
Maybe it was time to stop running.From the pain.From the panic.From Him.
Maybe it was time to accept that being broken wasn’t the same as being unworthy of love.
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Maybe it was time to stop letting the darkness overcome her.To let the light shine through all her fractured pieces and see what kind of beauty the Lord could create.What kind of kaleidoscope He could make from her brokenness.
Here I am, Lord—all my broken and ugly pieces.I don’t know why You haven’t removed the anxiety, but I trust You.I trust that You are big enough, powerful enough, to forgive me, to love me, to use me in my brokenness.
The prayer formed in her mind.Simple.Honest.Terrifying in its vulnerability.
Meg drew a deep breath.
One step forward.
And just like that, she knew she needed to talk to Noah.Even if she couldn’t fix this, she needed to see him.He deserved the truth.Maybe she could go see him before her flight, scheduled for tomorrow morning.Pennsylvania could wait one more day.Tell him…what?
That she was sorry?
That she loved him?
That she was scared but willing to try?That she wanted to stop running?
Hope flickered in her chest, fragile but real.She stood, reaching for her keys, but her hand brushed against something in her purse—paper, stiff.
A notecard she didn’t remember putting there.
