When the door swings open behind me, I do not flinch like I used to; instead, I continue to face ahead and simply shift my gaze in the reflection. A young housekeeper with a stack of clothing stands there staring at me.
Her eyes are wide with fear and worry as she analyzes my injuries from behind before we maintain eye contact for what feels like forever. While she is stuck in disbelief, I do not even attempt to cover my naked body; I have already lost all dignity within me, so what is the fucking point? When I hear his booming voice, she breaks eye contact and rushes ahead.
“Hurry the fuck up!”
I give her a side look as she places the pile of clothing on the bed before hurrying out the door. When I hear the door close, my gaze lifts to the mirror once more to see Maddox and I glance away as soon as he takes a step forward after staring at me for some time.
I keep my eyes lowered as I feel the warmth of his body radiate on my naked back, and it is not that I no longer fear him; it's just that I don't feel anything at all. What else can he do to me that he hasn't already? How can I fear the monster that has already destroyed me?
I am past the fear, the anguish, the contempt, the deception, and the humiliation; all I feel now is venom and the shadows of death. I have cried so much that I do not have any more tears to shed. I screamed until my voice gave out. I have felt so much agony that I have become numb to it.
He slips my long, dark hair over my shoulder gently with his tattooed fingers, and I side-eye him as he examines all his horrific artwork on my body. As his dark eyes sweep down my neck, he murmurs, his warm, smokey breath skimming across the delicate skin.
“When you quit fighting me, Swan, I will stop hurting your beautiful little body as much.”
It irritates the fuck out of me that this is somehow my fault from his perspective since I refuse to give in, but this is Maddox. His analogy is not that of a normal person; he is undoubtedly insane and a fucking narcissist.
“Perhaps you are for me after all. You can certainly take what I fucking give, and I believe you like it as well. You are becoming my favorite.”
Bile creeps to the back of my throat, but I gulp it down and start to ponder about trying to play him at his own game, although he will undoubtedly punish me for it, death is better than living through this.
“Maybe I do.”
The words slide off my tongue with allure, and I slowly turn my head to face him until the two of us are so close that my lips graze across his.
“Maybe I like it when you beat and rape me continuously.”
His eyes scan mine, a tinge of confusion simmering in them, which brings me considerable delight. I glide my palm up the side of his fully tattooed neck and press against the nape until our lips meet. I shove my tongue between his lips, demanding that he return my kiss and his entire frame tenses in discomfort, but I merely turn around, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck and deepening the kiss, pressing my broken body against his.
When he does not kiss me back as passionately and keeps his hands away from me, I realize I am the one who is in control, and I relish him feeling uncomfortable for once. Maddox detests affection, true love, or feelings, and that is because he is fucking dead on the inside. He desires power, pain, and distress, and when he receives romance, he does not know what to do with it.
As he begins to lose himself in the kiss against his will, he growls resentfully on my lips, as if he is abandoning all control, and as soon as I can feel his vulnerability, I break off away. We peer into each other's eyes for a second before I speak close to his mouth and place my palm on his cheek.
“Oh, Maddox, I could never like you.”
I notice the instant change in his dark gaze, but I keep my composure.
“You're absolutely fucked in the head. You abuse women and you torture them for your enjoyment. You are not worthy of any true love, but you know that, don't you? Because that's why you do what you do, baby.”
His jaw tightens under my palm and his eyes darken even more.
“The thing is, you can try to break me all you like and what you have done could have caused me damage for a lifetime, but at least I know I can move forward once you are fucking dead, and I can learn to love myself again, but you—”
I gently stroke his cheek mockingly.
“No one wants or loves you, Maddox; they never will. Nobody fucking cares about you; you will not be missed, and the world will be a much better place when you’re rotting in the grave where you belong.”
His eyes become enraged before he forcefully seizes and squeezes my throat, but I take it with my chin raised in defiance and stare him in the eyes while he grinds down hard on his teeth. As he becomes increasingly tense, trapping the air in my windpipe, I quickly elevate my knee and deliver a powerful strike to his balls.
He immediately releases my neck and clutches them with a groan, and I peer down at him when he lowers himself in front of me, just where he belongs, breathing heavily. I can sense his fury swelling in the atmosphere around us. It is suffocating, butI simply turn around to pick up the bed sheet from the floor, ignoring every single bit of anger I am about to face because the satisfaction I just felt was worth it.
When I rise, I glance in the mirror in front of me and notice that he is already upright. His terrifying eyes startle me, and I feel a sense of terror rush through me before he snatches the back of my hair and slams my face into the mirror at full force, causing the glass to fracture from the impact. I groan as blood pours from my nose, and he moves my head to the side to speak cruelly into my ear.
“That will be the last time you touch, or fucking speak to me like that ever again.”
My eyes water because of the excruciating pain in my nose, and I hear him drag his zipper down, causing me to speak through gritted teeth, blood beginning to fill my mouth while I struggle against him.
“Fucking rapist; fucking sick fuck.”
