Chaos lays the pasta dish on the foot of the bed, but I lower my eyes before turning away from them and returning my gaze to the stormy weather. When I hear them leave, I hesitantly look over my shoulder at the plate of pasta, knowing I need to eat in order to get better. My body is shutting down and I cannot think clearly while I am in this state.
I inhale deeply before turning and striding toward it and when I am close enough, I take a slow seat on the edge of the bed, gazing down at it. I carefully lift the fork with a trembling hand before digging it into a piece of orange, vibrant food and bringing it to my lips. I hover it over them, the smell of it making me want to vomit but I part my lips and shove it into my mouth, forcing myself to chew and swallow it down. I need to get stronger; I need to move on.
As the day fades into night, I become lonely since the guys have clearly decided to give me space, which I am starting to detest. While lying in the middle of the giant bed, gazing up at the tall ceiling, I hear the door click open and my eyes shift to it, seeing Chaos and Reign enter.
I gently sit up with a groan, backing myself up against the headboard while Chaos takes a seat on the foot of the bed and Reign remains standing. Chaos gazes over at the empty dish of pasta on the bedside cabinet with a small smile, noticing I have eaten it all, as well as taken the medication provided.
“We’re proud of you, Lil Chaos.”
My eyes soften from Chaos’s words, but I stare ahead until he shifts and carefully sits beside me. I side-eye him while he settles on the bed until Reign catches my attention as he strides around the other side of the bed and my eyes follow him. He also gets onto the bed beside me and my lips twitch while I gaze forward, knowing they never do this.
After a while of pure silence, I begin to feel lighter and safe that they are here with me, and I find my eyelids dropping with tiredness. Reign catches on, laying down first onto his side before Chaos does the same on the other side of me. I pause, glancing between them both before finally tucking my legs beneath the sheets and wriggling under it.
I lay there, gazing upward, lying in between them both until my eyelids finally drop and I fall into a peaceful sleep.
After seeing a doctor once I returned here, my body seems to be finally mending. Chaos and Reign have tried to help me in any way they can over these past two weeks, but I get that it is difficult for them as well because we all know they can't do much; it is up to me to battle and overcome.
Nobody else can pull me out of this shaded mental state except me and they can only offer me a helping hand and hope or wait for that day to come. I haven’t opened up to either of them or told them the full extent of what has happened to me, but I think they know because they seem to be treating me like a fragile little doll since I returned.
Seated in a chair by Reign's expansive window, I gaze out at the cityscape in the distance as the sun sinks below the horizon, casting a warm shade across the skyline and I am feeling extremely tired already. Hearing the guys lightly chuckle behind me, I glance over my shoulder, to watch them as they play cards on Reign’s bed.
They haven’t left my side. They will sleep beside me; they will get me food and drink without me even uttering a word. I observe them as they interact, and it brings me comfort when they are like this. They don’t know how much I prefer it when things appear normal. It’s harder when they’re walking around on eggshells because I need normality above all. I want things to go back to what they once were.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about what will happen between us. Am I really going to forgive them for this? Am I going to mend and move on with my life away from this city? What happens if I do stay? Am I strong enough to wear my crown? Will I ever be? One thing is still for certain, I am still madly in love with both guys, despite everything that has happened. I have tried my hardest to hate them, but my love for them and who they are is far too superior.
As Reign catches me watching them, he is lying on his side, propped up on his elbow. Our eyes lock as he flashes me a gentle smile and for a moment, everything else fades away. His smile has a way of melting away my worries, a rare sight that always catches me off guard. I am still not used to it, but it's a beautiful reminder of the effort he puts into comforting me, just like Chaos does.
With his cards in one hand, he gestures for me to join them on the bed by patting it with the other, but I hesitate, unsure if Iam ready to fully engage with them. Seeing my reluctance, he focuses back on his cards, but after a few moments of internal struggle, I find my strength. I cast aside the blanket, rise from the chair, and make my way over to them. When I am close enough, I kneel on the bed and settle in between them.
As I cross my legs and pull the sleeves further down my arms, they both watch me. My eyes meet Chaos beside me, and he reaches out, gently tucking my hair behind my ear in the sweet gesture. I give him a faint smile and he returns to the cards, dealing them between the three of us. After a while of playing, I start to relax as they chat amongst themselves. I muster up the courage to speak, but when I do, it’s something that has been weighing heavily on my mind recently and it shifts the entire mood.
“What if I told you guys that I don’t want to stay in New York anymore?”
I keep my eyes lowered, staring down at my cards in my hands, but they turn to look at me. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Reign is first to break it.
“That’s really what you want?”
I ponder his question before I shrug one shoulder and answer quietly.
“Maybe.”
I avoid eye contact; the game is now completely paused, and they glance at one another before Reign responds.
“You need to get mentally and physically well first, Char. If you still feel the same way when that time comes, we will let you goto live your life however you wish, we won’t force you to live a life you don’t want to live.”
My eyes lift, shifting between them both and I ready myself to ask a question that I always knew I wanted to ask after finding out who I really was and the possibilities of taking the rank.
“And if I stayed, how would it work when I love you both? I cannot exactly marry you both. I can’t have children with you both.”
Reign’s eyes soften when I say the words and I don’t even know why I just told them I love them. They don’t deserve to hear it from me right now, but it’s only the truth. I guess I am finally finding my voice after all.
“You would have to choose Charley.”
My brows pinch, my gaze frantically darting between them both.
“What? I can’t do that. It’s not poss—”
“I’m sorry, beautiful, but that’s the only way it can work.”
