“Unbelievable,” I chuckled surprised. “You care more about the bombs than your own damned foot?”
She huffed. “My foot would heal. My grenades, I would have to remake them from scratch.”
“I’ll never question a craftswoman’s love for their work again.” I shook my head at her and a faint smile spread on her lips, as she wiped away a few escaping tears.
“So, talk to me, who do we hate?” I continued, giving her a firm look.
She chuckled low, bending her head slightly back. “Me.”
I snorted and crossed my arms, waiting for her to continue.
“I’m serious,” she said, her eyes finally reaching mine and I had to fight not to stagger from the intensity inside of them. She was clearly hurting, something gnawing at her from the inside.
“Nate’s right.”
“That’s… odd.” I tried joking to lighten the mood.
“I… I envy you.” Her voice came out quiet, shaky. “Letting yourself feel, get hurt, be loved.”
“Ashley, we lo—”
“That’s not it. I care about you guys too, you’re the closest thing I’ll ever get to a family again.” Her hand beganfidgeting, eyes averting mine. “But I can’tlovesomeone inthatway.”
“Why not?” My arms slowly unfolded, suddenly unsettled by her words.
“You’re all strong, you break and still get back up,” her body began trembling, as another tear escaped her eye. “Ican’tdo that… Not again.”
“You’re blaming yourself, aren’t you…?” I took a step closer and her arms slithered around her own body, as if trying to hold herself together.
“You’re saying you can’t love because you fear breaking? Because you’re already at the bottom… Already broken?”
A sob escaped her and I went for it, quick steps before my arms swung around her and held her tightly against me. Her whole body quaked, slowly letting the pain out, showing her true broken side.
“How can I live happily, when really I should’ve been dead long ago?” Ashley whimpered, her head burrowed into my shoulder. “It should’ve beenmeEthalyn… I stole her future. It should’ve been me!”
It felt as if I was holding glass, and suddenly it all broke in my arms, shattering into thousands of pieces, piercing me along with it. I wanted to cry, becauseshewas hurting.
And I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Shh,” I murmured, patting her head as tears began pushing against the corners of my eyes. “You stole nothing, Mauria made that decision all on her own.”
Her twin sister, who decided to die in her stead when a group of thugs came for Ashley’s life. A selfless act in most eyes, but in Ashley’s, I could see how it seemed more like a curse rather than a blessing.
“I’m sorry,” Ashley sniveled, trying to collect her broken pieces once more. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“Shut it, of course you can talk to me,” I snapped, striking the top of her head lightly with the side of my hand. “I’m your girl.”
She chuckled lightly, hugging me back. “Yeah, you’re my girl.”
CHAPTER
8
We were back to being thieves.
Well sort of, depending on how you looked at it.
We had every right to the food just like anyone else at the camp, but we may have gone slightly overboard with our ration size. After acquiring it, Ashley and I did our best to sneak to the outskirts of the camp.
