“You okay?” he asked quietly.
“I’m thinking.”
“That doesn’t bode well.”
I shot him a look over my shoulder, but he simply smiled that crooked smile he always did when he was making fun of me.
“It’s just… We keep losing our own.”
“You can’t save everyone,” he said quietly.
“But I’m the reason they’re gone,” I said. “If I lose more, if—” My voice fractured, but I forced it steady. “I can’t lose any one of you, Lionel. I can’t.”
He sighed as he placed himself next to me, mimicking with arms crossed, staring out across the water.
“You saved Nate,” he said. “You kept him here, and by doing so you saved everyone else, too.”
“So why do I feel so… defeated?” I asked looking up at him. Lionel shifted, meeting my gaze as his eyes softened.
“Because you have a caring heart. Isn’t that why we all followed you through this hellhole?”
I snickered. “Is it?”
“Perhaps the others, I was in for the obvious alluring view,” he snarked waving off to the dead and boring sand dunes.
“You’re stupid,” I snorted, hiding a chuckle.
“Yeah, I haven’t grown smarter during all this time I’m afraid…”
“Well, I think I’ve grown dumber,” I said, drawing a sharp breath.
“I don’t think that’s possible,” he shot back, making me glare at him. He waved his hands in surrender.
“Thanks, Lionel,” I said and smiled at him. His eyes widened for a brief second, before they softened once more and his mouth curved.
“I mean it,” I continued. “Thanks for everything… Staying, having my back after, well, everything.”
He chuckled lightly. “Don’t worry about it, Ethalyn. We’re all good. I’m happy, really… You might be more badass now, but you’re still the same person I grew up with, still my friend.”
I nodded as I smiled at him.
“Besides, you’d be lost without me,” he sneered and I opened my mouth to protest, but the only sound that left me was a defiant snort.
“Maybe you should check up on Ashley.” He saved himself by distracting me and I scoffed at him as I passed, earning a wide grin from him.
I headed back to Ashley who sat beside Nate, her eyes still glued to him as if he was about to wake up at any moment. “He’ll be fine, he just lost some blood.”
She sighed low. “Some? I nearly killed him.”
“I’d say that’s pretty standard for you two,” I tried joking but she only gave me an arched brow.
“I seriously doubted his words,” she continued, her voice hushed. “I knew he cared, the way he always nags and tells me to stay alert… But love?”
“There was never any doubt,” I filled in, making her tense. “Maybe in your eyes, but that’s because you’ve kept him locked outside.”
“Ouch,” she snorted, giving me a sharp glance.
“Not all words you need to hear are comforting,” I reprimanded quietly.
