“See?” I beamed, proudly. “I told you I’ve been doing better!”
But his expression shifted just slightly, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a touch of wariness. “You have,” he acknowledged, “but sudden shifts in personality and behavior after extended periods of institutionalization are still something we need to monitor closely.”
There it was… the suspicion hidden underneath the praise.
Always.
“She’s also observed some significant changes in your appearance over a short period.” He flipped the page of the folder. “It says here: ‘Patient appears to be investing heavily in physical presentation, including hair, makeup, wardrobe upgrades, and overall image maintenance.’"
I forced a laugh. “So looking cute is a red flag now?”
“No, butdrasticchanges in identity presentation can sometimes indicate emotional compensation, mania,impulsivity, or dissociation in those who have recently finished institutional care.”
The voices in my head buzzed with agitation at his words.
He thinks pretty equals dangerous.
He thinks confidence means you’re spiraling.
They alwaysbecome uneasy when broken people start to look whole again.
He liked you better when you looked sad and harmless.
I straightened slightly in my chair.
“Or,” I countered smoothly, “maybe I’m finally getting to experience the joy of being a woman. Dr. Loomis, if you were forced to wear state-issued sadness for a decade, I’m sure once you got an inch of freedom, you’d want to indulge in some bundles and lip gloss too.”
To my surprise, a genuine laugh escaped him, breaking the tension in the room.
“Well,” he said, still amused, “when you put it like that, I suppose I can understand the desire for a little self-reinvention. Just promise me something, Haelyn.”
I tilted my head, curiosity piquing as I awaited his request.
“Don’t confuse looking better with being healed.”
I offered a reluctant nod.
Dr. Loomis then nodded, understanding flitting across his expression as he closed the folder decisively.
“Good. I’ll have scheduling set up for your second weekly appointment before you leave.”
I stood slowly, smoothing my shirt down over my stomach almost protectively.
“Good day, Dr. Loomis.”
“Same to you. Take care of yourself. And Haelyn?”
I paused near the door but didn’t turn around.
“I mean this sincerely… I do want things to work out for you.”
The voices erupted immediately, hissing over one another.
He doesn’t mean that.
Nobody ever does.
Don’t believe him.
