Smile, baby… that’s what they like.
I struggled to hold the corners of my lips into a small, polite grin, lowering my gaze in desperation, hoping the voices would shut up long enough for me to walk out of that room a free woman.
“Good. You’re dismissed. Court adjourned.”
The gavel cracked down with the finality of a gunshot.
I jumped, but not from fear, from the voices.
She’s letting you go… for now.
Not for long.
We’ll finish what we started when you get out.
Then softly, almost drowned beneath the rest, came another one.
Breathe, Haelyn… just breathe. Don’t let them win today.
I exhaled.
The bailiff’s hand touched my arm, firm but not unkind, guiding her toward the exit, as the courtroom blurred behind me. But the voices?They followed.
***
The release process moved slower than syrup on a cold pancake. It was paperwork hell—discharge forms, medication agreements, state supervision documents, my “promise-not-to-go-crazy-again” signature required on every single one. By the tenth form, my wrist was begging for an ice pack and early retirement.
They updated my photo,because apparently, ten years in a psych ward doeswondersfor the complexion. Then came the fingerprinting, again, as if my fingers had somehow changed identities while I was locked up. By the time my final clearance was confirmed, the beige uniform I’d worn for ten years was stripped off and traded in for a plain gray sweatsuit and state-issued sneakers.
In the narrow hallway Dr. Loomis waited for me.
He smiled weakly. “Well… you did it.”
I gave a half-smile. “Yeah, I did.”
“These are your discharge papers,” he said, handing me a manila envelope. “Your instructions, next week’s appointments, and important phone numbers, including mine, are in there.”
I nodded, staring at the envelope, but not really.
Dr. Loomis hesitated, lowering his voice. “Haelyn, listen to me carefully. You’ve come alongway, but this next part is the mostcrucial. You’re reentering a world that hasn’t stopped moving while you were away. People will test you. Some will whisper. Some will provoke you. You can’t affordanyslip-ups. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“No, Haelyn,” his voice hardened slightly, “you need tolivelike you understand. No fights, no drama, no anger. You so much as blink wrong at the wrong person, and they’ll use it as proof you were never well.”
“I’m not that girl anymore,” I reassured quickly, trying to convince myself more so than him. “I’ve learned to think before I react. I’ve changed.”
My thoughts, of course, weren’t buying it.
Changed?one of them laughed.Girl, you just fantasized about throwing a chair at the judge four hours ago.
She said she thinks now,another chimed in mockingly.Shethinks about how she’d do it differently next time… cleaner, smarter, and no witnesses.
Dr. Loomis studied my face like he was searching for a truth I was selling.
“You keep telling yourself that, maybe one day you’ll believe it,” he finally responded.
My jaw tightened. “I already do.”
