“Oh my God,” Talia muttered, like she was finally piecing something terrifying together. “Youreallydo believe Merge is your ex, Jace, huh?”
“That’s because heis!” I snapped, way too fast, too defensive, and too unstable. “And could youpleasestop calling himMerge?! Every time you call him that, you make it sound like he died and came back as somebody else! I knowIhave to call him Merge when I’m in his presence… for now. And trust me, I hate every second of it. Ugh!”
I twisted my face in disdain.
“But that’s only until he gets out of his feelings and admits who he really is. I’ll do whatever it takes to get back in his good graces, even if that means pretending I believe the lie, acting like we’ve never met, and calling him by thatridiculousname until he feels safe enough to become Jace again.”
I sighed dramatically.
“Love will make you be a damn unpaid actress in somebody else’s identity crisis.”
Talia stared at me, visibly stunned by my outburst. Her expression softened in that careful way people used when they thought one wrong word might send a wild animal charging.
“Haelyn…” Her voice dropped to a cautious whisper. “Jace… Jace is dead.”
Something inside me snapped.
“He didnotdie!” I bellowed in anger.
My hand swept across the table, sending everything on top of it crashing to the floor.
“It’s all lies! Jace can change his name a hundred times, he can build a whole new family, surround himself with people willing to play along, and look me dead in my face pretending we’ve never met… but I knowmyman! I know what y’all trying to do! Just because everybody keeps calling himMerge, y’all think thatI’meventually going to forget who he really is?! Like if y’all repeat the lie enough times, it’ll become the truth?!”
A bitter laugh escaped me.
“It won’t!”
“Haelyn, Merge is not—” she began, but I cut her off, my voice rising in a sudden storm of emotion.
“Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!” I screamed, the words tearing from my throat as I pressed my hands to my ears, desperate to muffle the sound of her voice, which felt like a jagged knife scraping against my skull.
I jabbed a finger toward her.
“People disappear and become somebody else every day! They change their names, their clothes, their voices, even the way they carry themselves. But they can’t change what’s underneath!”
My chest heaved as I began pacing.
“I know his eyes! I know his energy! I know the way he looks at me when Jace slips through beforeMergecan catch him and put the mask back on!”
“Haelyn—”
“I said shut the fuck up!”
I clutched both sides of my head as the voices began shouting their agreement.
She’s lying!
She wants you to doubt him!
She’s part of it!
“Answer this,” I said. “Did you see his body? His obituary? Did you go to the funeral? Maybe somebody stood there crying and told you it was him?”
Talia’s lips parted, but she didn’t answer fast enough.
“Exactly!” A sharp laugh escaped me. “Youneversaw him dead! Youheardhe was dead, and like everybody else, including myself, you believed what you were told!”
Swiftly, my fury dissipated.
