“Why would you? He left us.” It’s part of our story, even if that story is unraveling.
She leans back against the counter. “I came to terms with your father’s absence a long time ago. I don’t know if he left us to protect us or he left to protect himself. I may never know the answer to that. And I’m okay with it. But I did love him. And he loved both of us. I know that deep in my heart. And if he is still out there, he must have a damned good reason to stay away.”
Tears choke the back of my throat at the pain in her voice. I may not feel a connection to him, but Mom does. She hasn’t dated. She hasn’t so much as mentioned another man in all this time.
I try to imagine what it would be like to lose any of my guys. To go without Jack’s smiles and teasing. Eli’s smirks and commanding presence. Nico’s gentleness and friendship. Caden’s protectiveness and honesty. And Luke, fuck, the way he holds me like he never wants to let me go. Those soft moments with all of them that grab at my heart.
“Do you miss him?” My words break. If she had with my father what I have with the guys, I don’t think I’d ever recover if they left me. Even if it was because they were done with me.
“He broke my heart when he left.” Tears glisten in her eyes, but then she smiles. “But I still had you and you helped heal me.”
I walk around the island and step into my mom’s arms, hugging her. Tonight was exhilarating and terrifying in the samebreath. There’s nowhere safer than my mother’s arms and I need this hug. And I know she needs it too.
I sit at my desk,working on my laptop.
We have the webcams on, but none of us speak. We still can’t trust that someone isn’t grabbing the feed. But I love that I can see them as we do our homework or work on the files Jack was able to access that weren’t locked. It’s an odd moment because we can’t talk about the things that stress us, but each of us is working on a piece of the puzzle.
Jack sent me the email William Foster sent my mother. He thinks it’s a code of some sort, but it seems fairly straightforward. It’s from over a decade ago. If Mom responded, the response is long gone. But apparently, Mr. Foster didn’t think about deleting his sent folder.
Ms. Davidson,
We need to discuss what you did last night. Please meet me Tuesday at three. Before your shift. We need to clarify some things. Your daughter is about the same age as my son. Bring her with and the children can play while we talk.
—William Foster
I glance up at Luke’s screen. I don’t remember playing with Luke ever. But we would have been four or five when this was sent. It’s cryptic. What she did last night? Was it something at work? Maybe she talked to Luke when he came in after Mr. Foster abused him?
I pick up my phone. Jack made us all download an app that deletes messages after they’re read.
Me:
Did you read this letter from your dad to my mom?
Luke glances at his phone screen then up at me.
Death (Luke):
Yes
Me:
Do you remember playing as kids?
Death (Luke):
No
Me:
Could this have been about something your dad did to you?
I rub my hand on my leg. My pajama set isn’t as skimpy as some, but it’s still warm at night, especially when I sleep with one of them.
Luke looks on his computer, maybe pulling up the same file I have open. His brows furrow as he reads it over. He blows out a breath.
Death (Luke):
Possibly. Honestly, the only people that know what this is about is my dad and your mom
