Mrs. Lee pats my hand and then walks over to join the doctor. They walk through the door and suddenly I’m alone in the waiting room. I glance around, but there’s no one here. The noise of the hospital with machines and hushed voices occasionally fill the quiet, and the fish tank in the middle of the room makes gurgling noises but that’s it.
I feel exposed. Like anything could happen and none of my guys would be here. Nico is back there and the others are at the game. I wish I was with Nico, holding his hand while he hears what’s wrong with his knee.
But I’m just his high school girlfriend. That doesn’t get me an all-access pass. What happens when we go to college and one of them gets hurt? Will they call the guys’ parents before they call me?
I don’t like to think about what happens after college. This isn’t supposed to be a long-term situation, but my heart is all in. I rub the ache in my chest, thinking of the decisions we’ll have to make. How at some points I’ll have to tear off the pieces of them as they leave me.
“You okay?” Kenz sets the drinks on the table next to the chairs and lowers herself next to me. “You look about two seconds from crying, H. What’s going on? Is it Nico?”
I look up at the ceiling to get the tears to go away and take a deep breath. “No, I’m just being stupid and thinking about how this can’t have a future.”
She hands me a root beer and leans back in her chair, staring at the fish tank. “You mean, you and the guys?”
“Yeah.” I release my breath. Maybe it’s better they don’t know how deeply I feel about them all. It’ll be easier to let them go when this ends.
“You know how I feel about high school boyfriends.” Kenz shrugs. “I don’t think it’s meant to last. I don’t know if Brandon is the one, but I’m not going to change my life plans to fit around his at this moment. Maybe after college, if we’re still together, I’ll feel different, but it’s a lot to follow someone when we’re both eighteen and don’t really know what we want out of life.”
I sip my soda and stare at the door. “I guess that’s the real question. Will twenty-two-year-old me feel the same way eighteen-year-old me feels about the guys?”
“The only one who can answer that is you in the future.” Kenz chuckles. “I think twenty-two-year-old you will definitely wonder how you had the energy to keep up with five guys at eighteen.”
I let out a little snort of a laugh. “Eighteen-year-old me wonders that too.”
We sit for a moment before I ask, “Hey, is everything okay with you and Brandon?”
Her brow furrows. “Yeah, we’re hanging out at the party later tonight and spending the weekend together. Why do you ask?”
“He asked me about you at the game.” I slide my fingers down the cup.
“During the game? Maybe he was just being friendly?” Kenz narrows her eyes at the fish tank, like the answer might be in there.
“Maybe.” I blow out a breath and glance at the doors. What’s taking so long?
“He’s going to be okay, H.” Kenz’s voice turns sober. “He has you and the guys to get through whatever struggles he’ll have with this.”
“Yeah.” I hope he knows that too.
CHAPTER 47
The Penalty
Nico
I’m in a fog as my parents and the doctor talk about options for me. Surgery, physical therapy, rest. Something about meniscus and ACL and six months of recovery. Six months! Fuck.
“We’ll be able to schedule him for surgery on Monday. You might need an extra day off school, but you should be able to return fairly quickly.” The doctor speaks in a comforting way.
“What about football?” Dad asks. “He’ll recover to play in college?”
“With the right physical therapy.” The doctor slides her gaze to me. “As long as you follow the regiment we provide, you should make a full recovery.”
A full recovery. Recovery. Fuck.
“School?” I meet the doctor’s eyes.
“As soon as you feel up to it. Definitely not the day of surgery, but we’ve had some athletes go back the day after or a couple days after. It depends on your pain management and any accommodations they need to make for you.” She rubs the bridge of her nose. “You can always get someone to bring your schoolwork to you. Or you can go to online school.”
Fuck that. I need to be where Harper is.
