I smile and sniffle. Eli hands me a box of tissues. I take one gratefully.
“Finish up whatever you’re working on. I’ll wait and one of you can bring me to it.” Mom draws in a breath. “Why are you all up at five a.m.?”
Fuck, is it five a.m.?
“Things to do.” Jack rests his chin on my shoulder. “Do you know who he was talking about?”
She nods and glances around. “A friend.”
“Pronouns they/them?” Jack asks, probably to see if that was to be mysterious or identifying.
Mom nods. At least now we know why the friend on the computer wouldn’t tell us their gender.
“We can trust them?” Jack says.
“Sean trusted them with his most valuable asset.” She looks at me and my heart aches. “Take care of her. I’ve got to go.”
“I love you, Mom.” My voice catches on the words.
“Love you, kid.” She clicks off.
Caden scoops me into his arms and I bury my face in his chest as the tears flow freely. I want to scream and yell, but I also just want to hide from the world. For a moment, I really believed my father might be alive. That he was communicating with me and the guys. That he was still helping me.
“What do you need, princess?” Luke’s hand rests against my back.
I shake my head, because I don’t know. I didn’t know I still had something to grieve about the father that left me. But now I know the guy my mom said would never leave us. It was in his every word to us and I don’t know what to do with the guilt for hating him for so long.
CHAPTER 66
The Fog of War
Harper
It didn’t feel real until I saw his face and heard his voice. My father isn’t even a memory to me. But now I feel like I’ve lost something huge. My heart feels wrung out, and I’m not sure what to do next.
I untangle myself from the guys and head to the bathroom. When Luke tries to follow me, I hold my hand up to wave him off. It’s not a rejection, but I know he might not feel that way. I just need a moment alone to get myself under control.
When I close the door, I take a deep breath. Little hints of my father reflect back at me in the mirror now. I’ve never seen anyone but my mom in me before, but my lips are his and the shape of my face.
Shaking it off, I need to focus on what we’re doing here. Grabbing a washcloth, I quickly wash my tear-streaked face. I should have been with my mom when she watched that. To hold her and cry with her over the fresh feeling of loss. Knowing she’s felt this since he disappeared and hid it from me all these years breaks my heart. We should have been able to grieve together. Not just soldier on.
I take a deep breath before going back out to face my guys. They’ve spread out in the living room again. They watch me as I walk in. I could sit with any of them and find comfort, but I go to sit next to Luke. He takes my hand and kisses my head.
“You good?” His words are soft, and I turn to meet his eyes. We’ve come so far from who we were in the beginning. He searches my eyes like he’s worried he’s lost me. I’m not used to Luke being vulnerable, but he has this hole in his life like I do.
Only, where my mother loved me so much I never missed my father, his father hurt him to make him forget his mother.
“I love you.” My heart is warm being able to share that with him. To give him the love he never knew.
He smiles and presses a kiss to my lips. Resting his forehead against mine, he breathes me in before saying, “I love you.”
He cups my jaw and brushes his thumb over my lips. “Are you ready?”
I take a moment to absorb this feeling of being here with all of them. Of knowing we’re just starting out. Somewhere deep inside me I know we can go the distance.
When I nod, he straightens and looks over at the others. “What do we know and how are we going to use it?”
“There was a video camera in my room. And we might be bugged in other places.” Caden runs a hand through his hair. His eyes focus on me. “We should at least look to see what’s bugged and what isn’t.”
